For a while now, i've had what I considered paranoia. I've thought things were under my bed, in my closet, in the backseat of a car, outside the shower curtain.. Even if it was impossible for that to be so. I always refer to it as "my stupid fear".

Eh, examples..

When I go to take a shower, I always look all around the bathroom.. And then, still peek out of the curtain every so often.

When I go out with my sister and we're driving back home late at night (on backroads), i'm constantly looking over my shoulder at the backseat to make sure that no one is there.

When I try to go to sleep at night, it takes me hours simply because i'm scared I might have a nightmare. Somehow it ends up that I always do, and I wake up an hour (two if i'm lucky) later and am more scared then before. I often spend my nights forcing myself back to sleep, trying to assure myself that i'll be okay.

Well, I thought this was just paranoia. I went and read about paranoia, hoping to find out how I could help myself. But what I read... Well, it seemed to refer to people who always thought others were talking bad about them and things like that. Which.. I'm really not like.

I started getting sick along with this fear. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, maybe this is all in my mind...

I get chest pains and stomach aches that are especially bad when I wake up from nightmares. I often feel I have to vomit, and never do. My eyes will burn, my mouth will get dry. My muscles always feel sore, like i've been running for an hour.. But I don't work out, in fact, i've been more lazy then ever. I do practically nothing all day (not having a job or school).

I get cold, I get shivers, I get fevers...

I wish I knew what it all meant. Even if there was no way to help it, I just.. Want to know whats wrong with me. Am I going to be okay?
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replied January 1st, 2006
Experienced User
Scared to Go to Bed
Hello there,
sounds just like me about 10 years ago. I would do the same things practically. I used to do it every august before school started. I would be scared to go to bed, I was paranoid to get sick with the flu because I hated vomitting. When I went babysitting I would run home because I was afraid something would jump out at me and I wouldn't get home. I would have cold chills, pains in my stomach and dry heaving, it got bad enough that I developed gastritis, which is an inflammed stomach lining. I lost a lot of weight and felt miserable. But it all passed with time. No one knew that I had an anxiety disorder until now and I am 24... So, go see your doctor, that is what they get paid for, to help us. I know my story is not exactly the same but I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I hope it brought you a little comfort.
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