This is a sad atempt to find something that I have never had. I get the feeling quite often that the world despises me. That my problems are a burden, so I don't tell them. I pretend that its okay, I act as if I am fine. If I want somebody to listen after all that will cost me over 100 dollars an hour. Right, that is the going rate for another human being to deal with me. The truth is that I am dying inside, that everything I do say think and feel is only another step closer to my inevitable decay. If I can make it through the day without a terrible tramatizing event going down than it is a good day. It is a good day regardless of weather I smiled once or felt the slightest bit of relief in my heart. If I can be stong enough to make it through another day that I have deemed myself successful once again. This thing that I have labeled as success. It is relative in any case. I am a sort of disillusioned donkey chasing an impossible carrot, one that is tied to my conciounse reality. But who really am I fooling. Everyday I am struck with the unacceptable reality that I cannot believe my own lies.
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replied December 24th, 2005
Experienced User
Before I chat I must say I love your descriptive language. I can only picture after reading your post, your metaphoric use of 'donkey chasing an impossible carrot'....Well why don't you think of a way to stop chasing that 'carrot' as it were and grab it some other way?

I'm not an english teacher, and i'm no girl that charges $10 a minute to hear someone pour out their heart. But I like to hear what people have to say; help them out. I know how you feel my friend. You can argue that I don't, and i'd love to chat with you more and let you get this off your chest. But what your saying about that poor donkey(i know you don't mean it literally by the way!), perhaps if they are chasing that impossible carrot, then why don't you find a technique to actually achieve that goal? Donkeys may be seen a dopey, but trust me, hold more wisdom than you think.

Bottom line to this ridiculous analysis that I seem to have typed off the top of my head, is that; this world sucks. Sorry to say that. I can say one day it's beautiful and like you have a grain of happiness. But look how far you have come in life so far. Look at where you have left off. If you think/know that so far life has been bad, think how you have got through it. Think of people that can't even think of what they could have, who know nothing of what they could be. They aren't chasing something that's impossible, they are chasing something that is non-exsistent. I bet you have a load of paths in front of you. And I bet that deep down you can achieve. Don't get kicked down by this world. Think of it as an assault course, instead of a poor little donkey.

Xx
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replied January 3rd, 2006
I Know How You Feel
Hello friend. I know exactly how you feel. Most of the time I feel that life sucks! It really does when you see past the illusion of happiness. I truly believe that happiness only exists in the next life, but that belief keeps me going everyday. At times i'll see things or feel emotions that make me temporarily elated, but they soon fade away. I view this world as a battleground, and we soldiers must fight to the last day of the war. Many of my friends and relatives disagree with me when I tell them that it is better not to render children in this cruel world. Most people see a baby and smile, but I only frown and take pity on the poor little creature. It's not easy having a dismal outlook on life, but we pessimists have to learn to deal with it.
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replied January 3rd, 2006
Experienced User
Pray
Hey there lostinastrangeworld!! How are feeling today? Better I hope! I love your user name by the way! Aren't we all a little lost in this strange world!?! I just wanted to let you know that I will be praying for you. You seem to be such an interesting person to me, very creative and discriptive. Do you write at all? Writting is a big stress relief for me... If you don't write, maybe you should take it up. I don't mean to bable... I just wanted to let you know that you are in my prayers and god will guide you through if you will lean on him and let him. You have to have faith!


God bless and good luck,
teresa

"for .God did not give us the spirit of fear, but of power, love, and of a sound mind." 2nd timothy 1:7
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replied January 22nd, 2006
I had the same problem,i felt like my problems were burdens on my friends.I even yelled at my friends a couple of times why do you listen if you don't care?!?!I don't know why I did but I just felt like that.That was a few month ago and I guess i'm doing better now yet I do tend to feel like my problems are a burden on everyone.Its really tough but keep going...You can make it.Keep your head up.

-danielle
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