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Should I Continue Our Relationship?

I am 25 years old. My boyfriend is 26 years old. We have been dating ever since march. I love him and feel that he is the best person to talk to. He would be my best friend if he wasn't my boyfriend. We never argue or fight, but I have one problem against him. It is his family. He lives with his father and ill older brother in a small apartment. He father is a double workaholic. He works 24 hours a day/6 days a week. He doesnt' come home until on his day off. His older is brother is 30 years old. His older brother is mentally challenged, asthmatic, diabetic, and has many diseases genetically inheritted by his mother who died many years ago. Because his father is not home often, he hired a homecare nurse to take care and cook for his brother 6 days a week. The nurse only stay at his apartment from 9-7 each day. Afterwards, his brother is alone. The father doesn't feel comfortable leaving his brother alone and places a burden on him to be home shortly after 7:00pm to be with his brother in case if his brother needs him. If he stays outside too long, his father would get upset with him, which is the last thing that he wants. His father never understands his 2 sons, not easy to talk to, and is a very tough and mean father. He is a respectful son since birth only he father wouldn't understand. It is not easy for him to take care of someone and treat the person like a son/daughter. He is more of a father to his brother than his father is. That takes away a lot of his time to enjoy life and spend time with his friends and me. It really frustrates me because personally, I don't like dating guys having family burden, for example in his case. I tried talking to him about how I feel, but he doesn't want to talk to me about. He is a person that always hides everything to himself, which I don't feel that close to him like I used to before. I have thought about separating from him, but no because I do love him. I would do anything for him. Honestly. I am very proud of him something. He is a boy that grew up on his own without a father guiding, teaching, and caring for him. His father would just put money on the table every week for his allowance and left the house for work, which left him taking care of himself all the time. I feel that those people should be proud of themselves. Shouldn't they? He grew up to be so respectable while others wouldn't respect their parents at all? He grew up taking care of himself without actual support from anyone. :o. Ok back on the relationship, I love him more than anything. I know that if I am married to him, I would do anything to be a wife and mother. If we separated, it will be hard for me to find a guy or any person that suits me more than him. I have been living for 25 years and know how bad and crazy people can be something. This is my first boyfriend that i've ever have in my life. I have spent a lot of time before trying to find the right guy but failed to until now. That's why it's so hard to let go, if I thing about it. I would be too harsh. But I can't seem to accept the fact that he has this family burden. I really wish there was something I can do to help him. What should I do? Should I keep him or should I let him go? Please help. I am frustrated now.
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replied January 13th, 2006
Experienced User
Honestly.
In all honesty, if I were in his shoes, I will appreciate yr help. Knowing that you love him and he suits you, I think u shld get involved in helping him with his brother.
Staying a distance will keep u from him and him from u but getting involved in d family, helping his responsibilities will mean much n do much.
Think of it.
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replied November 11th, 2009
If you truly love him you will have to accept him as he is. If you want to be his wife and have his children you have to accept him as he is. If you want to spend the rest of your life with him you have to accept him as he is. And so on. If this means that his Brother is included you have to accept it.
If you don't want to accept it you may have a big problem on your hands. You either leave him, you will find someone else. Or you tell him that you want to be with him for the rest of your life but he has to dump (bad choice of word but) his Brother back on his Father and leave them to it while he gets on with his life with you.
Hard choice, but it has to ba made. Sorry but thats the way it is
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