Hi. I'm a 20 year old virgin and i've never had a proper girlfriend. I know i'm good looking and I go to the gym 3 times a week and in general a nice person(only thing i'm a little conscious of is my height at 5'10). The problem is i've been on about 30 first dates and i've screwed up all of them. My confidence is pretty much non existent at the moment and it takes me ages now to go chat to someone. Anyway basically I kind of want these questions answered. Should I tell the women i'm a virgin straight off so they can understand why i'm increasingly anxious on dates(i'm pretty certain thats why the last 5 or so didn't go well). What are good places/good things to do for first dates? And yeah if there is any advice you could give me about this it would really appreciated. Thanks
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replied December 12th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
Well for my first date with my bf we went to a pool hall around here. Then out for dinner. That was good cuz it gave us time to talk a little and get comfortable with each other before we had to sit down to eat and talk... It was nice. I think u should try something like that, something that's active and ur not just sitting around talking, cuz ppl tend to move around nervously a lot when they are sitting still and especially with a new person. I know how hard it is. Good luck! As for being a 20 year old virign, I was a virgin til a few months before I turned 19. Not bad I think...
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replied December 12th, 2005
Virgin
You should tell your significant other the truth that you are still a virgin. I feel that you should do anything but which. Lying is the first thing that hurts a relationship. To tell the truth, I am 25 and still a virgin. I tell my boyfriend and he is alright with it.
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replied December 17th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
Niceguy we women don't care if the guy is virgin or not. They will probably find it flattering so don't hesitate to tell!
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replied December 20th, 2005
When I told my g/f I was a virgin, she said "awwww" and that made me melt... It will go the same for you... It dont matter what girl it is or how they are, they always love a guy who cares for them...
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replied January 8th, 2006
Well... Being a virgin might scare off some girls, if you act uncomfortable around them. Some might like it and some might be turned off. My advice is, don't say it on the first date. It really shouldn't even come up at all on the first date. Wait until you are at a comfort level with someone... After a few dates. If you say it right away, they will see it as something important, since you just had to tell them immediately! But being a virgin is no big deal. You need to feel that way, to ease your anxiety and build your confidence, and they need to feel that way too, which will happen if you act like it's no big deal! If they want to know why, just tell them you've dated other girls but it just wasn't something you wanted to waste on them. You weren't sure you'd find someone right for you yet. Honestly, if I hadn't met my boyfriend, i'd still be a virgin too, and i'm 19. And i'd say the same thing, that I hadn't met the right person yet. If you're waiting until marriage, you might want to mention that. But otherwise... Go with that. And stop stressing! You're letting this insecurity sabotage your dates. You sound like a great guy that any girl would be lucky to have. Know this, and own it. If you want your virginity to not matter to a girl, you have to also act like it doesn't matter. Virginity is an asset.

You'll find someone right for you. Some girl is going to just love that you are a virgin (maybe she is too!). She'll be a down-to-earth, sweet, genuinely nice girl who you feel you can talk to about anything. Look out for her!

And good luck!
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