Hi, i'm new to this but need to talk...I am 28 and a mother of two. I'm just coming out of a bad marriage where I had little worth and felt like I was just along for the ride. I got married young (17) and basically grew up with my soon to be ex. My life revolved around him and his selfish, irresponsible behavior... He made most of the decisions and I followed along like a little puppy. My self esteem was zero and I felt like I could do no right on my own.
I put up with alot in that marriage ... I stayed invisible way too long and realized that things were never going to change. Instead of trying to convince myself again that it all was my fault and falling deeper into depression, I decided to get out and start a new life.
Well, I got out but I feel stuck. I have a hard time making decisions on my own...My self esteem level is still very low...I tend to beat myself up over the decisions i've made in the past...And I don't know what to do with myself. I need to be stronger for my children but I don't know how. Most of the time I just feel like I am wasting my life away... Just watching it go by day by day with nothing to show for it. My family is happy that I left my husband and they are rooting for me...But i've moved to a new state and I don't have any friends nearby which leaves me feeling lonely...But most of all I feel stripped and empty...Like what little I had of myself was taken away by my ex and there is nothing left of me.
H e l p....
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replied December 17th, 2003
Strong Women
Gomez,
you are a strong person! Leaving a situation like that takes a strong person and a smart one. I know you don't feel like you can make your own decisions, and that your self-esteem is low but just the path you took to another state to begin your own like proves other wise. Remember you are a women and women are strong!! When you get to feeling down and maybe indecisive just think I am women hear me roar!!!!
Love,
lisa marie
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replied December 28th, 2003
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replied December 28th, 2003
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replied December 29th, 2003
Stripped Bare
I am too, new to this forum... ( not that it matters) it is really too bad pat would not understand the phrase "if you can't find something nice to say, say nothing" even teenagers suffer from depression and should be taken seriously... All I can say is that allot of us can relate to this topic and all I can say is that, you have already made bold steps by admitting there is a problem and taking steps to correct it... These are the hardest steps... You will find with time that this will heal and with strong support (family and friends) the rough times are easier to take. Even the church was a help to me because the load was spread among us. Find what you need to survive, whether that be professional advice, a group, or a friend, but don't give up... You have made some great steps already.
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replied December 31st, 2003
Guess i've missed a few posts that have been cut, looks like those little grimlins are at it again... Sigh...
Gomez, you are quite welcome here, and I hope whatever was in those remarks didn't scare you away. Of course everything is going to feel strange and new, and you have no idea what the future holds. But, I agree with the others, you've taken some great big steps in getting yourself a better life. It's scarey, yes, but the more decisions you make, the more confidence you will gain in being able to manage your affairs. See, you moved. On your own. And you survived! And, it's actually a good thing. It might take a while for you to realize that, and for it all to sink in. You are very young, you have lots of time to build for a future. You can make a new start. You've taken the first steps to make that happen, now, what's your next step? Do you have a job? If not, do you want to get a job? Just take one thing/one day at a time. Don't stress out about what's not being done, but keep a list of all you have done for yourself and your children. And, take a few minutes each day for you. Take a bubble bath, watch a favorite show, read a good book, something that makes you feel good. And enjoy it! Often, we're made to feel guilty for doing something we enjoy. But, it is really sooooo needed, for us to recharge our batteries.
Keep us posted on how things go, I wish the very best for you.
Congratulations on your new start Smile
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replied January 22nd, 2004
Anonymous
?
It takes alot of courage to leave what you did.
I hope you are on the road to building back up what was knocked down.
That takes a little bit of time to realize you can make your
own decisions and you can be strong!!!!!!!!!
I know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And don't worry about what has happened just learn from it!!!
Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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