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Do You Believe In Fate?

I am a guy, and I have heard from many women that this idea of fate is very real. Personally, I am 19 and have never been in a serious relationship (besides your typical puppy love high school one that last about a week). I have since been trying to get dating and possibly even a relationship, but have been having much trouble. I realize that I am kind of a shy person yet I warm up to people very quickly, however, I know that in most cases the guy has to make the first move. So, I have since come to this idea of fate. Maybe I am just not suppose to date right now, and more or less just let fate take its course? I think this queston pertains more to the ladies as they seem to be the biggest believer's in this type of stuff, is it true?

Help please, thanks.
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replied October 19th, 2005
Experienced User
I believe in fate and I also believe that you should let fate take it's course. There's a path for each and every one of us. Sometimes, we choose the wrong path, but we're only human.

There's someone special out there for you and you will know it when you see her. She'll come to you when the time is right, or you'll be brought to her. In the meantime, enjoy yourself! :-)

good luck! Hope everything works out for you!
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replied October 19th, 2005
I think you are right.
Thanks!
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replied November 3rd, 2005
Don't count on fate.

A lot of people are somewhat shy, you should try and boost this by maybe asking people for the time, it'll help.

Talk to girls, ask them thier name, etc

then when the time comes you'll be ready.
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replied November 13th, 2005
Experienced User
Fate won't come to those who wait.
That's my motto. You gotta get out there and live boy! Live your life and love it and don't worry about the love of your life. Fate will bring her to you and you will be in the right place at the right time. Just don't go searchin!
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replied November 23rd, 2005
Fate is believed until after something happens. Like "fate brought us together." you can't just sit on your couch and think that fate will make your soul mate magically appear. A lot of times, life surprises you. A new person you meet might actually be the one. Fate is a belief. Sure I believe in fate, but I dont think about it constantly. Go out and live life. A new friend might be "the one". But dont automatically think that when you meet a new girl. Take things slow. Let things happen by themselves.

Good luck :]
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replied November 23rd, 2005
Experienced User
Nope. You create your own fate. Can't just sit and wait for something to happen just because you believe that it is destined to be. You just have to be in the place at the right time. What I believe in though is "love at first sight". You will just know and feel it, that the other person is the one you have been looking for. Can't force it, can't push it. It just happens!
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replied December 9th, 2005
As a philosophy major I have studied the concepts of free will, determinism and fatalism to great extent. I have to say that I strongly agree with previous posts that you have to take matters into your own hands. Fate, when applied to your particular situation, implies that whatever will be will be, and that it is pre-determined. This does not mean that you should sit on your couch and do nothing because you are helpless and have no causal role in your life. You make your life what it will be. The concept of fate is that what you will do is not so much a choice that you are making in the moment, but rather it is a choice that has always been made for you. My answer to your question, then, is this. Do whatever you want. Go out and meet girls or wait for the right one to come to you. Whatever you choose to do defines you as a person. Fate is simply the concept that you could not have chosen differently.
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replied December 14th, 2005
jennifer23 wrote:
i believe in fate and I also believe that you should let fate take it's course. There's a path for each and every one of us. Sometimes, we choose the wrong path, but we're only human.


There's someone special out there for you and you will know it when you see her. She'll come to you when the time is right, or you'll be brought to her. In the meantime, enjoy yourself! :-)

good luck! Hope everything works out for you!


i believe everything happens for a reason. Whether you look for someone or don't I believe things will turn out the way they are meant to be. I finally stopped caring about finding someone to be with and I fell in love with someone I never would have expected and I believe we are meant to be together.
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replied December 14th, 2005
Active User, very eHealthy
I do very much believe in fate - it is predetermined what will happen in your life and who you will meet. Honestly, just sitting and waiting will not allow fate to take its course. All you must really do is go about your daily life and try not to go too far out of the way for one particular person.

I'm 18 and i'm terribly shy - I rarely speak to anyone who is not a friend or family member, so don't feel bad about shyness. And don't worry because it's okay for guys to be shy too; some girls even prefer shy guys because they seem to have an air of cuteness about them. My ex was so shy that he had his friend ask me out for him :) .

Just be yourself and let things happen on their own - you'll meet that special someone soon enough. Also, don't be afraid to look for love in unlikely places. It's possible that you may someday fall in love with your best female friend, or your friend's ex who they couldn't stand, etc. I actually fell madly in love with my ex's best friend, who was a very close friend of mine at first too. The bad thing was that I fell in love while I was still with my ex, which I believe was also a pretty obvious sign that my ex and I were not destined to be.

Sorry to go off on a tangent about my relationships - I just wanted to use them as an example of fate. I believe it was fate that led me to my boyfriend, and I believe that fate is what brings all true lovers together. Dating is a big matter of trials and errors and you'll almost never find the right person on the first try.

Don't sweat it too much - you'll find the right girl someday. And i'm not just saying that to make you feel better. I've always believed that no one can live their life totally unloved. I'll bet you've got a couple of secret admirers out there who are just too shy to let you know. My only advice to you is to not think a lot about dating, and just focus on normal life. When you're least expecting it, the girl of your dreams will step into your life. You might not even be aware that she's the one for you in the beginning, but time will reveal these secrets to you eventually.

I wish you luck on the woman hunt :) you seem like a nice person, so hopefully some girls will take notice of that.
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replied December 14th, 2005
If u wait for fait u might end up to be a 40 year old virgin.
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replied December 17th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
ergit wrote:
if u wait for fait u might end up to be a 40 year old virgin.


i agree!



If it serves you as advice try online dating. That's where I met my sweetie :o)
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replied October 17th, 2009
I believe in Fate! I met someone about 16 years ago while I was in a relationship with someone else. I instantly was attracted to this person. About a year or so later, I separated from my partner and somehow this person I had met the year prior came back into my life and to my surprise he confessed that he had a thing for me too. We dated for a short time but due to circumstances (age and I had 2 small children) we went our separate ways. I was very sad but I never did forget about him and always said that he was the one I was meant to be with. After that, I ended up back with the father of my children. We remained together for many years and even had one more child, however toward the end I was very very unhappy! After 18 years in this relationship I called it quits. I moved, changed jobs, and just changed my attitute toward life in general. Well, who would have thought 16 years later that the person I never forgot, would come back into my life again. We now work together and to beat it all, we still feel the same about each other. This time we are taking this one slow and it is sooo much fun! So Fate...Yes I believe in it.
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replied October 20th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
I believe that we make our own fate, that when we believe we deserve something we overcome obstacles and put ourselves in positions for good things to happen to us and that when we feel we are bad people we look for ways to punish ourselves.

However that's nothing to do with shyness. Being shy isn't the universe's way of telling you that it's not your time to date any more than High Blood Pressure is just fate's way of telling you not to make plans for next year. Confidence is like a muscle, it doesn't get stronger unless it is fed and exercised. Put yourself in positions where people will say nice things about you, volunteer work, neighborhood watch, community service. Force yourself to start a conversation with a stranger every day, especially with women. Think of it as a work-out for your self-esteem.
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