Hey guys. Remember when I couldn't decide whether I wanted dewitt or
camerin? Well, I finally decided on dewitt since he has cleaned up his act so much and I really think josh deserves to have his real father in his life.
So I was all set and decided and camerin decides to give me this note, in response to one I gave him months ago saying why I loved him so much. I treally made me cry, I just wish he would stop this. Oh well. I'm going to have to say it's too late. He had his chance, and as much as I still love him i'm just going to have to learn to get over it. Because I love dewitt more. This is the letter he wrote....It really made me cry knowing that he feels that way, but I just can't put myself through that again...Ya know? Any input or advice on what you think I should do about this would be much appreciated.

Chrissy,
sorry I haven't talked to you lately. I've just been.... I dont know. It's just hard to talk to you sometimes. I heard you're mad at me again. Sorry....I didn't mean to make you cry. It may be hard to believe but I never would want to make you cry. That's why that stupid little in-breed never really read that letter. You can thank sean for that. He's the one who stopped her. Don't worry sean didn't either. The reason it's hard to talk to you is because I love you. I don't know why it's so hard to say. It never was before. I guess I was just afraid too. Though I dont care anymore. I love you more than anything in the world. More than life itself. Even though my life I wish was over. I can't stand not being able to see you every day, not being able to hear your voice or kiss your soft lips, see your beautiful eyes or touch your soft skin. But not being able to hold you kills me the most. And reading all those reasons why you love me, I can think of a billion more why I love you...


I could really use some help on dealing with this situation......
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replied December 5th, 2003
Extremely eHealthy
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replied December 5th, 2003
Extremely eHealthy
Personally I think that you should have given yourself more time than you did, because then you wouldnt be making bad mistakes like you obviously are. I think that in each relationship that you learn a lesson and the lesson should be that right now you need to take time out for you and your son. Men can wait, you can still date them and stuff but what is best for you... Date not just one person but see what it is all about!!

I hope to hear you soon!!
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replied December 5th, 2003
Extremely eHealthy
Personally I think that you should have given yourself more time than you did, because then you wouldnt be making bad mistakes like you obviously are. I think that in each relationship that you learn a lesson and the lesson should be that right now you need to take time out for you and your son. Men can wait, you can still date them and stuff but what is best for you... Date not just one person but see what it is all about!!

I hope to hear you soon!!
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replied December 5th, 2003
Extremely eHealthy
I don't feel like I am making a bad mistake. I am always going to love camerin but I just can't take what he's put me through. That was part of the reason I decided on dewitt. I still don't want camerin. He hurt me really bad....And I hurt him.....I just don't think we could trust each other. And I don't want anything as serious as what he's asking for right now. Besides, how do I know he wouldn't totally ignore josh once he got here? I just don't think he's a good choice for me anymore. I'm going to focus on getting to know dewitt better. Lol jen I told him he was acting obsessive and he said I know, I just wanted to be sure you knew I loved you. But i'm not looking for those words right now. Seems like too many guys are sayin em. Lol. Well ill ttyl. Bye 4 now.
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replied December 5th, 2003
Active User, very eHealthy
You talk about both of them as if they were objects and you just can't choose which one you want. That's not fair to you or either one of them. It's like your toying with their emotions. How about choosing neither of them and staying single for awhile and concentrating on having a healthy baby!!!!!!!
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replied December 5th, 2003
I think that you made a good decision about whether or not to go back to a relationship that would probably fail. A relationship is based on trust and if you dont think you will have that with camren then give dewit a chance, his letter sounds sincere and it could be worth your time! But right now make sure u dont spend too ((caps)) much time with him. You need to concentrate on having a healthy baby!! By the way I forgot what your decision is, are you going to keep him/her?? Well, good luck hun!!
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replied December 6th, 2003
Extremely eHealthy
Yes I am keeping him. Btw, that letter was from camerin. Not dewitt. Darling, I don't mean tot alk about them like they are objects, I already made my decision to stick with dewitt. I just need some support in that decision. Because walking away from camerin is the hardest thing i've ever had to do. He was a lot of firsts for me. And I just need help getting over him. That's why I don't want anything serious with dewitt. I just need time to chill and think. I just feel in my heart he's the best choice because not only is he josh's daddy, but we don't have the mis-trust camerin and I have. We also talk about things camerin and I could never talk about, like religeon. But camerin was here th other night and we had a talk, i'm not sure how well he took because I haven't spoken with him since. He's grounded so I can't call and see how he's doing. I just wish there was a way we could be friends or something, but after what we had, I think it just might be too akward. I would still love to try. Anyone got any advice on going from relationship to just friends?
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replied December 8th, 2003
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