Medical Questions > Relationships > Ending a Relationship Forum

Need Help Getting Away From Girlfriend/babys Mom (Page 1)

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Last edited by grim8118 on May 6th, 2006 07:31 PM; edited 1 time in total
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replied October 12th, 2005
Experienced User
Okay...First question. What do you expect to be done with the kids during all of this?? I mean, are the kids with her at the apartment right now?? If you didn't love her then why did you get her pregnant the first time...And then again?? I'm not trying to be a bi**h or anything i'm just asking questions. You are right, she should get a job (if you can find someone to watch the kids) and she should cook for you after you have been working all day (my husband and I take turns cooking...Or cook together). When you come in and she starts fighting with you...What do you say or do?? What gave her the idea that you are cheating?? Look, my husband and I are having some problems but we have to put our son above all of our problems because he is more important. Please don't put your children through hell because you and their mother can't get along. Be adults about it...Sit down and talk and decide wether you are going to stay together or be apart and how that is going to affect your little boys. You running away to your mom has solved nothing...And I really don't think that your baby's momma is going to just leave....And if she does, where is she suppose to go???


Good luck,
teresa
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replied October 14th, 2005
My children would stay with her at her parents house. We never planned to have kids, it was a mistake in my opinion but I can not go back and change that :(

when she works, I plan on watching the kids since she'll have to get a job 3-4 nights a week (i work during the day).

When she starts fights usually I try to ignore her, I never argue with her infront of the kids cause I don't want t hem to see it.

I have put my children ahead of everything in my life, but now I am to the point that I need to put myself first just this one time. Unfortantly I can not simply just sit down with her, she is very immature and the second anything comes up about wanting to split up for a little while or permanatly she puts on this crying act and says "but I don't wanna lose you". Makes it impossible to ever leave. I have been an 'adult' with her for the past few years, and has gotten me no where.

Since then, we have since 'made up', not really cause I am still really pissed at her. I told her stuff has to change. I need my time with my friends (i haven't been out in over a year now), and she agreed to not get angry if I say I am going out with my friends.... Well again she lied because I made plans for friday (today) to go to the city with a bunch of people at work... Again she got all pissed and gave me an attitude. I feel another fight is gonna start after I go out tonight.

Btw I have never cheated on her or even tried. I have never givin her any reason to even remotly think I was. I don't get any weird phone calls from girls, I am hoome 20 mins after I get off work so no time there, and she calls me 3x's a day up at w ork, so its not like I 'pretend' to go to work.


Thanks,

scott
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replied October 17th, 2005
Experienced User
Hey scott!! Sorry to hear that things are still going bad in your relationship. I can understand where you are coming from. There is still one thing I don't agree with though. Your children always come first (after .God) no matter what. If you two didn't want children then why didn't you use protection?? Anyways, it might make her feel a little better and you both fight a little less if you invite her out with you when you go out with your friends (her mom can watch the boys). Or if it's an all guy thing then you tell her to go out with her girlfriends the next night and you keep the children. Do you guys believe in .God and go to church and stuff?? If not, maybe you should. Not just for you two but for your children also. Try praying for your relationship to get better or for you to find a way out that isn't going to hurt your kids. Also, do sweet things for her, suprise her with things, tell her she is beautiful, kiss her out of nowhere and for no reason, run her a bubble bath and light some candles and give her a break by watching the kids while she takes a bath. I promise you that if you do these things, her attitude will change. Leave her little notes some where in the house (where she can see them) that say "i love you" before you go to work in the mornings. Women need these things. I'm just trying to help you out here...And I hope that I am, atleast a little. Some people just aren't meant to be together though..And you may have to seperate for good. But, it's not a good idea to let your children see you two breaking up and you leaving for short periods and coming back. If you are going to break up...Then do it!! Don't just leave your kids though...Remember they are number one...Not you!!


Good luck to you!!



Teresa




"for .God did not give us the spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind."
2nd timothy chapter 1 verse 7
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replied November 29th, 2005
Experienced User
Boy Friend
Ask grim8118 why iam like this and why I think he is cheating
let me tell u he wont have sex with me
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replied November 29th, 2005
Experienced User
Huh???
Are you scott's girlfriend?


Teresa
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replied November 29th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
I just think it's sad that you say your children are a mistake and if you could go back and change it you would.. Just try to leave them out of it..
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replied November 29th, 2005
Experienced User
Who??
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replied November 29th, 2005
Experienced User
Yes
Yes iam his girlfriend he didnt tell u the hall story
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replied November 29th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
Yes, opposites attract, have you ever thought of seeking counseling? It is not always a good idea to stay together for the kids, they are not stupid and they sense more than you know. It would be good for her to get a p/t job but just having two kids around is a job. It sounds like you both have a lot of growing to do and having the two boys you have had to grow faster than you probably wanted to and please remember it is not there fault. You might think of going to church, they have a lot of activities for family's and they might be able to help you and her along with the boys.
I realize you need your space and so does she.

Please do not abuse her because even though you do not love her, she is still the mother of your children, so show some respect.

You both need to sit down and discuss everything and make it or brake it but she can get child support from you and no matter what you are still the boys father.
Never go to bed mad(just an old saying).
Good luck to all of you!
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replied November 29th, 2005
Experienced User
Re: Yes
tonii9999 wrote:
yes iam his girlfriend he didnt tell u the hall story



okay, so what's the whole story??
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replied November 29th, 2005
Experienced User
Hey
Well his ex girlfriend is telling me all this crap about that he goes and sees her
while we were together and we dont have sex he never spends no time with me we never go out we sit all the time he plays on the comp all the time he treats me like iam not here. For a year in half I sleep in the living room while pregant he sleep on the bed he hits me some times when we fight .....
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replied November 30th, 2005
Experienced User
Also
His ex girl came to are house tell me all these thinks about them 2
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replied November 30th, 2005
Two sides to every story, right? I am not taking sides, tho' I do know that being a stay at home mother is a full time job. I think maybe your gf is a little insecure about the relationship. Like the other post said, maybe you could do a few things to make her feel more wanted. I do believe that each person needs to spend time with friends, etc. But, I feel there is some reason why she is feeling so jealous of you, not necessarily saying that you have done something to make her feel this way. Maybe its something that has happened in her life that she needs to work on. You have to have trust in a relationship, and you have to have respect in a relationship. There is no perfect relationship. You both must be willing to work on it if you want it to work.
The children need a stable home....Not moving in with grandma. What can each of you do to help with this problem . Try being kind and considerate of each others feelings. Best of luck to you.
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replied November 30th, 2005
Experienced User
Re: Hey
tonii9999 wrote:
well his ex girlfriend is telling me all this health question about that he goes and sees her
while we were together and we dont have sex he never spends no time with me we never go out we sit all the time he plays on the comp all the time he treats me like iam not here. For a year in half I sleep in the living room while pregant he sleep on the bed he hits me some times when we fight .....


ummm....Then why do you even want to be with this guy, if what you say is true?? I mean...You should want to get your children away from that. If he hits you then don't you think that there is a chance that he will also hit the children??

Teresa
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replied November 30th, 2005
Experienced User
Hey
You are right iam going to sit down a talk to him eigther we stay toegther or we brake up for good
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replied November 30th, 2005
Experienced User
Hi
I try to talk to him but he keeps telling me to shut up he tells me he didnt mean to say all that :cry:
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replied November 30th, 2005
Experienced User
Hi
Now he wnats to be togetehr and make it work he says he loves me
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replied December 1st, 2005
Experienced User
Hey
Grim8118 says he didnt mean to write all this stuff he was doing it out of angry what should I think now
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replied December 2nd, 2005
Experienced User
Hey
He says for get about it should I forget about thing he said please let me now what to do
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