Hi,

i'm really worried that my fiancee might have bipolar disorder. We've been together for 5 years, and shortly after we started going out, she was diagnosed with depression and was put on anti depressants.

She stopped taking these after about 3 months, and everything started over again. She went through phases of being both physically and emotionally abusive towards me, whilst at times being hugely affectionate towards me, and from applying herself at university to trying to commit suicide by taking every pill in the house or by slashing at her wrists - leading to 2 seperate trips to accident and emergency.

After weeks of me begging her to, she finally decided to go back to the doctor, who promptly decided that, yes, she was still depressed and put her back on anti depressants.

This time she lasted long enough to start a job that she had successfully applied for 200 miles away from where we live. We agreed that she would move back after a year, and we see each other fairly regularly, but after 3 months of moving away, she took herself off her anti depressants again. For 2 months, she was fine - always sounded happy to hear from me and was always enthusiastic about things.

Recently, though, she's been sporadically sounding tired and angry on the phone, or she's been over-the-top happy and enthusiastic. She responds violently to things that I say that nobody else seems to find fault with, and she regularly tells me that she thinks that I don't love her and that I don't really want to marry her.

Always after these attacks, she phones up and begs me not to leave her or find someone else - a thought that has never occurred to me - and that she's sorry, but when I try to ask her what's wrong, she just tells me that she's fine, or she says she's tired.

Recently, a friend told me about a family member suffering from bipolar disorder, and I was wondering, is my fiancee's behaviour typical of someone with this condition?
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replied October 17th, 2005
My Partner Has Bi Polar
He is a loving and caring man whom I love with everything I have. The situation you have described is someing like what I have been through as wellmy best friend also lives with bipolar. My partner has foundit very hard to come to grips with what this condition means and so have i.He was also told he hadd deppresion when he was 15 but after they loooked at his family histoy decided it was bipolar my advice is to find out if there is any history of mental illness in her family, it can be hereditory. Document her moods and changes in personality because this can help you to help her. Go to a phyc and show them what you know. Once on the meds for her condition things will get better. Trust me. My partner is the most amazing loyal loving man I could have wished for. He still has phases but because we know what we are dealing with it is alot easier to help him. Because at the moment your not sure what exactly your up against
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replied October 19th, 2005
Experienced User
Re: My Partner Has Bi Polar
sundae21 wrote:
he is a loving and caring man whom I love with everything I have. The situation you have described is someing like what I have been through as wellmy best friend also lives with bipolar. My partner has foundit very hard to come to grips with what this condition means and so have i.He was also told he hadd deppresion when he was 15 but after they loooked at his family histoy decided it was bipolar my advice is to find out if there is any history of mental illness in her family, it can be hereditory. Document her moods and changes in personality because this can help you to help her. Go to a phyc and show them what you know. Once on the meds for her condition things will get better. Trust me. My partner is the most amazing loyal loving man I could have wished for. He still has phases but because we know what we are dealing with it is alot easier to help him. Because at the moment your not sure what exactly your up against


ditto couldn't of said it bettery my self, things will get better.. Yes part of it seems like bipolar.. But can say it's all of bipolar or that every bipolar person will do it. ( I guess i'm different when showing depression or mania) I would keep a track of her mood swings, what she eats and drinks, talk to her family and find out if any one in the family has a mental illness or if there was mental illness in the family. Also find out
if any one is a diabetic,a alchohallic(sp?), and or has throid(sp?) disorder
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replied November 7th, 2005
Yup Bipolar
I just knew that i'm a bipolar a while ago. I've got social anxiety disorder too; n sum symptoms of schzophrenia. I'm soo paranoid these days, I feel emotionally numb and am not writing or talkin to anyone about my emotions, am always denying that anything is wrong. "i'm fine" what I think ur fiance is bipolar n shes in a paranoid state. Coz when she starts thinking you dont love her she is paranoid. I currently automatically think everybody hates me n judges me wrong n I hate everybody these days.If you really love her be patient n give her the support she needs.And when shes feeling good. Keep up the support becoz when she starts numbing her feelings she gets paranoid. These days am numbed sooo numbed. Im numbing my true real feelings n am like "whatever you want." so just make her feel good about herself n always talk to her about how she feels. When she says I need to be alone let her be coz we bipolars isolate ourselves sometimes.. "just like I do"..

There are diff. Episodes, depends on the person. Each one's bipolar is different. Mine for example, I get all the episodes sometimes in one week. N other times I may get manic for a long while n feel soooooooooooooooooo good. N other times I get hypomanic.. That is the best episode. U got nooo negative feelings at all. U think positive.
These are the episodes:

(hypomanic episode)--
"at first when i'm high, it's tremendous…ideas are fast…like shooting stars you follow until brighter ones appear…all shyness disappears, the right words and gestures are suddenly there…uninteresting people, things, become intensely interesting. Sensuality is pervasive; the desire to seduce and be seduced is irresistible. Your marrow is infused with unbelievable feelings of ease, power, well-being, omnipotence, euphoria…you can do anything…but, somewhere this changes."

(manic episode)--

"the fast ideas become too fast and there are far too many…overwhelming confusion replaces clarity…you stop keeping up with it—memory goes. Infectious humor ceases to amuse. Your friends become frightened…everything is now against the grain…you are irritable, angry, frightened, uncontrollable, and trapped."

(major depressive episode)--

"i doubt completely my ability to do anything well. It seems as though my mind has slowed down and burned out to the point of being virtually useless. [i am] haunt[ed]…with the total, the desperate hopelessness of it all…others say, 'it's only temporary, it will pass, you will get over it.' but of course they haven't any idea of how I feel, although they are certain they do. If I can't feel, move, think, or care, then what on earth is the point?"



mixed episode--
symptoms of both a manic and major depressive episodes

bipolar I disorder--
characterized by the occurrence of one or more manic episodes or mixed episodes. Often individuals have also had one or more major depressive episodes.

Bipolar ii disorder--
characterized by the occurrence of one or more major depressive episodes accompanied by at least one hypomanic episode.

Cyclothymic disorder--
a chronic fluctuating mood disturbance involving numerous periods of hypomanic symptoms and numerous periods of depressive symptoms.

Rapid cycling--
defined as having 4 or more manic, mixed, hypomanic, or depressive episodes in any
12-month period. Episodes are marked by either a period of partial or full remission for at least 2 months or a switch to an episode of opposite polarity.

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thnx I feel a bit connected to myself n feelings now for talkin about it.. Anyways, peace n good luck :wink:
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