Medical Questions > Mental Health > Eating Disorders Forum

I Needed to Vent For a Lil While Hhhmmm.....

I am so depressed right nowi mean I know and can feel my body shutting down and I wanna get help for my ed now cause I have started taking diet pills and everytime I take them I get a head ache like I only took them if I didn't purge but lately I have taken them even if I did purge and I know it's not healthy but I don't know why I do it but I am so stressed and school and I feel like I have to do good and I have to get good grades and not fail I have never gotten good grades I mean and my parents have always been on me about it and now I just can't handle school and the way my body is I mean gosh I am like 5'1 and weigh like 100 I use to weigh like 120 and it is weird cause when I weighed more I was alot happier I mean my mom use to look at me and say your not the dausghter I had a year ago and stuff like that I don't even know who I am anymorei am so sad and depressed right now this !**@! ed is ruling my life and I can't sstop it I am waiting for my parents to get me back on insurance before I tell them and before I get help but it is taking them forever. Like I really don't wanna live with this the rest of my life but I know it is gonna be with me for like a long time to come all I feel like I can do is sit here and cry like it really feels like I have lost controll of everything like all my mind is is my ed nothing else I constantly think about when I am gonna be able to purge next and I don't wanna eat cause I can't stop for like 3 hours I swear it feels like that though like I eat one thing then I like get addicted and have to eat more and more I can't handle thi anymore like this is really my breaking point or I am just having a nervous break down I swear I need help soon!!!!!!!But theres not much I can do till my parents get on the insurance

anyways love always d
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replied September 19th, 2005
Experienced User
Angel, please try not to take the diet pills. They can be fatal. I know it's not easy, but if you can try and write your feelings and/or what's going on for you it can be a start. Even writing here is a great start. Hang in there!
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replied September 25th, 2005
Throw the diet pills away...They are garbage and they dont work in the long run anyway. I have been waiting for 3 months for my insurance to kick in as well and I have 1 week to go. My only suggestion for you is to just chill out and focus on what you will discuss with your physician. And yes, you must be completely honest with your dr or else you risk years of pain to look forward to. I have dealt with eds for 10+ years and lied to drs for years and am now paying for it. My teeth are all messed up, my skin is ruined, my digestive system and esophagus are in distress, not to mention my every thought is based on anger and guilt for what I have done to my body. Still for some reason I cant stop hurting my body. I pray that peoplel like you and I can figure it all out and someday and feel strong and in control
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replied September 25th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
Hi there! I agree with sephia, throw those pills away please, you do not need them, they will ruin you! Have you tried to go to mental health and explained your problem honestly with them, please do not get me wrong, I am not trying to say that you are crazy, it is just that you need a little help as most of us do in their lifetime and do not be afraid as it is confidential and they can at least lead you in the right direction.

Have you tried to talk to your family about this?

Try to remember that your body and mind need food to function and survive, just like your car needs fuel to function, you do not want to end up in the hospital with tubes going in you and out of you, or killing yourself or having brittle bone problems and stomach and esophogus and no teeth the rest of your life, this is what happens if you do not get it under control now!
You caan come here aand vent here anytime you want to as you are not alone in this situation.
Also keep us informed of how you are doing with this.
Good luck!
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