i have been through years of hell. I gota out of a very abusive marriage after 22 years. Thae last 7 yaers I was caring for my dying son. I was at his side 24 hours a day caring for my angel at home, until he passesd away in my arms. Then I divorced my monster husband and was basically kicked out into the world with no experience nothing and 2 other girls to bring up. I got a job woraking from home because I coudl not deal with people, I start stuttering and panicking and can't talk aproperly, buat theminute they go, I talk fine. I get major migraines with nausea, now I ahve started getting chest pains in middle of my chest, sometimes toward to right side down arm, sometimes left, n ot bad though. I breath ok. I can look at photos of my son, I have there all over....But if I try and think deeply about my son. My throat closes up and I start panicking and go into what I call a silent scream of pain, so intense.From losing my son to a rare metabolic disorder. I have had no one comfort me through all this and I am still alone. My 2 girls now live with their boyfriends, my youngest 22 year old, taaries to aget me to join them out to parks, beach,e tc... But I do not faeel comfortable around people and get weird and want to go home. What does this sound like. I need to find out so I know how to deal with what I have. I could stay home and never leave it again.

Need help please.........
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replied September 18th, 2005
Experienced User
Sounds like you are close to agoraphobia. Hang on in there. My aunt had breast cancer, amalgam poisoning which almost killed her and made her sick for 3 years, her husband left her after 18 years of marriage, she had to go back to school cause she wasnt educated, now her youngest daughter is having these bizarre migraine attacks with no apparent cause, her son is bullied and a loner and the oldest daughter has turned against her and blames her for the divorce.

Its all messed up but she tries to be active, get out, go to church, keep positive. She speaks to herself and says I will not dwell on the past, I onyl have one life and dont want to pronounce myself dead already, there are plenty people I can help, things I can do, places I could volunteer. Just get out there, help out iwth some unfortunate poeple, put something abck into the community, it will do wonders for your life, your health, and you will see that you can make such a difference by doing such small things . That will give you alot of confidence back that I am sure your failed marriage took away.

Go for it!
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replied September 19th, 2005
Thank you for sharing your story with me. I appreciate it and it makes me realise I am not alone in this world with my problem, there are many others out there and as you say, I can get out and help them, which I would really love to do :) thanks again
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