Medical Questions > Mental Health > Schizophrenia Forum

Mind Reading Fears= Early Schizophrenia? (Page 1)

Hi all!

I am 15 going on 16, and over the last few years i've been thinking some pretty odd things!

I often feel watched, and when walking along the street feel people are talking about me. On extremes I think they are reading my mind- but generally, I only think this about my family! My dad has a problem with his sinuses which causes him to cough a lot, but when he does, I assume he is being hostile and attempting to read my mind. I'll automatically touch wood to try and prevent this, but I end up engaging him in an argument within my mind, telling him not to read my mind- and yet, at the same time, I know it's only me i'm talking to, and that my dad may just be listening to my inner conflict silently. I feel that when he has got eye contact or physical contact with me, he can read my mind with much more ease, but when he is at a great distance (out of the house) he has much more difficulty. If his presense isn't near, I don't feel so paranoid. I feel the same about my mum too, but to a lesser extent.

I touch wood not only to prevent people reading my mind, but also to prevent bad situations from happening. I will touch wood very very often. Sometimes I feel that I am part of a lesser part of society, a class which was not born with the ability to mind read and a class which are therefore seen as inferior cripples by others. Sometimes I think instead that my dad is developing mind reading technology with his work, and is testing it on me. And sometimes I know that it cannot be true, and yet feel it is at the same time. It often makes me angry and confused with my dad, yet I know he is not trying to hurt me. When I am irritated and he coughs, my stress level rises through the roof and I will slam down on the nearest wood in a pattern of three, making him annoyed too.

I also have delusions of grandeur- I confidently expect to one day be leader of the earth- albeit a despotic and evil leader attempting to shape humanity to a perfect form. I read orwell's 1984 and see myself bringing it about. I read about doomsday predictions and see myself as the prophesised anti-christ bringing about the end of the world, though I am a christian myself. I read about the suffering of people in the world and reach out to them, feel for them- I despise the evil acts of people who cause deaths, and I want to hurt them too in ways just as bad. If angered, I will often console myself in a way that I certainly shouldn't- by saying to myself darkly, dramatically that I will kill them all one day. And that's something I know I shouldn't be thinking!

While enjoying physical contact such as snuggling with girls, I have no desire for sex; and while finding them often very attractive, I don't think the same about girls in porn and avoid it. I have always been jealous and suspicious in my relationships. Once after a break-up I orchestrated a grandiose scheme in my head as to why it happened, involving many friends in the plot- even though I was the one to finish the relationship!


I have not had any definite hallucinations, but sometimes things move or shift in the corner of my eye, and I see dark shadows like black cloaks swooping through door cracks when I know that my family are not about. This leads me to think that people are watching me and I will cast frequent glances over my shoulder out through the window or peer into hallways. I feel bugs crawling on my legs when I can see one nearby, but this might be owing to the fact that my legs are rather hairy hehe. And I have sometimes heard my dad shout my name from downstairs, but on answering him, he reacts in confusion and tells me he did nothing of the sort.


So, are these the first signs of something more?

Ocd for repetetive touching of wood?

Paranoia for believing things that can't possibly be true?

Schizotypal for believing in mindreading?

Or perhaps the beginnings of paranoid schizophrenia?


Any feedback would be much appreciated- it's all rather confusing! I'm not really terribly depressed about it at the moment, just baffled as to what I could be facing!
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First Helper Lizardking
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replied September 15th, 2005
Sorry, but I have no idea, since I haven't been diagnosed or even seen a psychiatrist yet, only a psychologist.

I used to believe my dad was reading my mind, too. Now I think that people are talking about me or making fun of me. I also hear people calling my name when no one has said anything. I also see the walls moving closer to me.

Any help?
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replied September 20th, 2005
You could be just more neurotic than the average person. I was diagnosed as that in my teens- I was also paranoid about everything as well as obsessive compulsive (touching of wood in your case). For example if I touched the left end of say, a table with my right hand I felt it was of crucial importance that I touch the right end of the same table with my left hand. :shock: to "regain the balance" or something like that, it's hard to explain. I would also get paranoid that my hands were somehow soiled and would remedy this by blowing (yes, blowing) on them. These are just a few examples and I think they are more than enough to classify me as a weirdo but not a schizo. Most of these needs and paranoias went away as I matured. I'm 25 now and feel normal most of the time, ha ha. The only times that I feel some of my neuroses take over again is when I feel depressed- for example I had a long illness and death in my family a few years ago that I took very badly and went "all weird" again - this time without some of my childhood quirks but with some new ones- I got paranoid all the time; I would start to suffocate in confined spaces like lifts or public transportation, I felt that I had to make sure that every door handle I touch I press all the way down (!!!), stuff like that. And then it all went away again after a few months. The better you feel about yourself and the happier you are the less frustrated you get in general. Then the neuroses don't have a chance to take you over. I wouldn't get too worried if I were you, but it's not a bad idea to talk to a professional; i've found that most problems are a lot easier to solve after you've told someone about it. They don't seem so menacing then. I mean- you can't tell whether you're schizophrenic by yourself and the more you ponder on it the more paranoid you'll become. Hope my experience helps you :)))
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replied September 22nd, 2005
Neuroses ey? I'll look into that! Thanks for the reply!
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replied September 26th, 2005
Am I Schizophrenic?
Im 17 and am really confused. I know I have social anxiety,low self esteem,manic deppreasion and possibly a eating disorders as I am goin 2 see a diet trishion soon but im worried I could be schizophrenic because of the amount of cannibiss I have smoked and now I cant trust any1 I feel like my family and friends r against me conspiring even my doctors in on it. Ive been comeing more and more paranoid and am now out of work cause of it. Its driveing me insane I have loads of the symptoms but am still unsure and ive heard that family,friends and doctors dont tell schizophrenics that they r and it can be made worse by finding out but really need help finding out as I cant even sit wiv friends without being paranoid or thinking that they r saying things about me which might just be miss understanding them. I dont really hear vioces but I have always known sumthing was different about me but nobody would tell me I just keep drifting off in2 a world of my own and have been selfharming even worse 8tly wiv needing stitches I litterly find it a struggle 2go out of my house anymore and even my old friends r starting 2 say things bout me like ive turned in2 a retard or im crazy. And ova the past years it has started 2 lead 2 me abuseing alchol and drugs more as its the only way I can cope with wots goin on inside my head. I feel like every1 is against me and wants me dead.
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replied December 14th, 2005
Experienced User
Touch the Wood?
I'm diagnosed schizotypal, I don't take meds, I have my ups and my downs, but I maintain generally.

And I can relate to the things you're saying;

i think they are all mind reading, but I raationalize and say it's nothing supernatural. There is a difference between me and the "normal", non-sz people. I call them the "worldly minded camarilla", a small group of creatures (but most of the humans) who are unreasonably concerned with the actions and intentions of others, and study facial recognition, facial muscle reading, and general intuitiveness and just plain nosiness, for the purpose, they think, of having some "control" over those around them, and therefor, they think, to increase their own power. Your father, for example, head of the household, is almost in charge of having some idea of what your'e thinking, and it is easier for him to comprehend when making physical or eye contact, of course.

They say people like us are just sensitive. Hyper sensistive, they say. We just have to get used to it.

The worldly minded camarilla doesn't have the sensitivity. They know we do. They feel frightened, so they try to exersize their own form of "power", the one where they're superior. They know, for instance, that i'm lying if I break eye contact and look down to the right. I hate that. But i'm not going to stoop to their level and think about that kind of stuff. Maybe I can't, i'm the other type, the sensitive type;

so maybe they are superior, but superior on an inferior field.

And here's my reaction to the "touching wood" thing:
i'm not surprised it works, what surprises me is that even though you've discovered the power, you use it so infrequently. Maybe you don't understand.

I have studied with shamans from around the world. The only difference between sz and shamanism, as far as I can tell, is the line: "the dreamer must control the dream, not the dream the dreamer".

They taught me about the tree's power. But your connection with the wood seems so "stacatto", only used in the most intense moments when the power is needed, and then only briefly, and then it may not even be a living tree.

Go deep into the woods, pick a tree, hug the tree, commune with the tree, invite the tree into your mental life, have a smooth, full, continuous relationship. Welcome to your power.

-onderdonk
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replied February 22nd, 2007
Hey guys i relate to all of this were are you guy's from, i've got the same symptoms and about being to sensitive that is crap thats not fair anyway i'm from Australia
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replied February 23rd, 2007
hope the guys that were in this forum are still visiting these rooms because it's hard to find people like us Smile Smile
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replied February 25th, 2007
Re: Am I Schizophrenic?
am i schizo wrote:
Im 17 and am really confused. I know I have social anxiety,low self esteem,manic deppreasion and possibly a eating disorders as I am goin 2 see a diet trishion soon but im worried I could be schizophrenic because of the amount of cannibiss I have smoked and now I cant trust any1 I feel like my family and friends r against me conspiring even my doctors in on it. Ive been comeing more and more paranoid and am now out of work cause of it. Its driveing me insane I have loads of the symptoms but am still unsure and ive heard that family,friends and doctors dont tell schizophrenics that they r and it can be made worse by finding out but really need help finding out as I cant even sit wiv friends without being paranoid or thinking that they r saying things about me which might just be miss understanding them. I dont really hear vioces but I have always known sumthing was different about me but nobody would tell me I just keep drifting off in2 a world of my own and have been selfharming even worse 8tly wiv needing stitches I litterly find it a struggle 2go out of my house anymore and even my old friends r starting 2 say things bout me like ive turned in2 a retard or im crazy. And ova the past years it has started 2 lead 2 me abuseing alchol and drugs more as its the only way I can cope with wots goin on inside my head. I feel like every1 is against me and wants me dead.

Your not the only one man!
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replied March 5th, 2007
Yeah the exact same things happened to me when i was around 18 from smoking weed and it led to me hearing voices. Things really got outta hand when i stayed up 4 days on speed. Just remember that it really IS all in your head. If your average people could read minds dont you think youd hear people talking about their abilities more.

In my case i started thinking that everyone is telepathic and i was only developing telepathy but nobody is allowed to talk about being telepathic because there are government agents wholl kill you or throw u in a mental asylum for talking about it. I didnt even realize i was becoming a delusional !**@!. I had a taste of paranoid schizophrenia at the end of it all but remember this. You can get rid of delusions and schizophrenia just as easily as you brought it on. Im talking from personal experience all i had to do was change my beliefs. I still do believe in ESP and paranormal but i dont believe everybody around me can hear my thoughts.

Dont worry now that youve spotted it you dont have to let it go any further. I was hearing voices up until i realized it was all in my head and if its not and it is ghosts or whatever talking to me i have the power to get rid of them if theyre pissing me off. Dont listen to people that say schizophrenia or psychosis is irreversible because im living proof its not. Never resort to taking medication or any of that crap. Also dont quit taking drugs just because of that crap. Personally im fine with every drug except for weed which was the cause of my psychosis and still when i smoke it these days i get paranoia and mild psychosis but when i concentrate i can snap out of my paranoid daze. Thats why I still smoke the stuff. Also some people might tell you never take psychedelic drugs if your slightly paranoid i say !**@!. Psychedelics will give you the mind, power, and determination to fix any mental problems you have. At least they do for me. Try small amounts at first and dont expect anything to just fall on your lap it takes intense mental struggles to solve mental problems. Nothing in life thats worth doing comes easy.

!**@! I feel a spiritual guru at the moment.
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replied March 6th, 2007
I partly beleive you man but some people have these thoughts were they and i can't switch out of them in anyway but i wish i could thanks for ya help anyway
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replied March 14th, 2007
Experienced User
mind reading fears are a classic symptom of schizophrenia
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replied April 14th, 2008
mind reading
yep thats schizophrenia
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replied February 4th, 2009
My esperience
I was diagnosed with psychosis and possible manic depression a year and a half ago. I was 27, it came on suddenly, symptons included thinking I was jesus(!) thinking work were trying to poison me, racing mind, not being able to make decisions, even about what room I should be in in the house, I thought the tv was talking to me and telling me things, and I thought I needed to pretend to kill myself to fool the people I thought were watching me. I have never taken any illegal drugs, or smoked anything, and I dont think I was particulary stressed. I was very wary of the drugs they put me on. I was on a neoclarityn a allergy drug when the psychosis started, I am still not convinced that was not related. I have been better now for over a year. I would erge anyone who thinks they are suffering from these things of things to get to see your doctor. If you are young and have never been to the doctor before, then ring the nhs helpline. To give you some idea of the treatment I got and I was pretty unpredictable, I got to stay at home, while a nice relative or friend came to look after me, I went to see my a nice psychologist, and I had a community care work as well. I also got support from the crisis team when I was at my worst, there was a phone line which I could call night or day and nice people who came aroudn to see me. Recently I decided I was ready to learn more about what happened and read a few books on teh subject, they were quiet academic, and if you poorly at the moment I dont recommend them until you are better. The best bits of advice I got when I was sick were 'take things at face value' and 'one things at a time' and of course accept that i am unwell and need ot be nice to myself. Hope this helps someone, it has helped me to share.
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replied February 10th, 2009
Active User, very eHealthy
Is it not possible?
What if some people can read or transfer thoughts or feelings. Is it so impossible? What if there are other things here that aren't human that can do this?

Or what if you can feel something there that is there but you cant fully explain yet?

I'm not going to call it paranoia anymore, you would be out of your mind to be relaxed, happy, content, and/or trusting. The more you learn the more neurotic or jittery or unhappy or untrusting you will be. Catch my drift, pickin up what Im puttin down, smell what Im cookin, we speaking the same language?
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replied March 17th, 2009
to woops
what does the name mean? And I catch your drift. Did somebody throw their blasphemy at you and say it was your fault, didn't they say that you were causing them to be in blasphemy and say that they affirm this as christians and also that the Holy Spirit was affirming this. Don't panick, God is protecting us. I know we are telepathic, people will not tell you that though.
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replied April 10th, 2009
hidden technology
my friend says that people are reading his mind, although schizophrenia may be real there can be a hidden technology that is used to harass people who do not fit the majority way of thinking. for example my friend says that people next door start laughing and yelling at him when he thinks of something bad. in most cases schizophrenia is caused by excessive amounts of dopamine in the brain. i heard Israel has developed a test to measure levels of dopamine in the blood. So psychologists can know who is really schizophrenic and who is not. maybe there are many people in mental institutions who have been wrongly diagnosed. Maybe they use satellites. If they respond to you emotions, then there should definitely be some signal receiving device from a central broadcasting station. Tip - search for a device people around you would carry in their pockets, maybe a buzzer that indicates your emotional state ie. angry, happy etc. Also try to find if there is way where your decoded thoughts ( words ) are transmitted back via sms to a mobile phone or some other device of people around you. You would need to consult the most trusted people in finding the answers.
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replied April 13th, 2009
going crazy?
im 22 ive recently been goin through the same as a lot of people on here.
Thinking people can read my mind or that im broadcasting my thoughts somehow. i consider myself a rational person and my first thought was that it was the weed. but the same thing happened when i wasn't stoned, and now i find myself uneasy around people.
am i a paranoid schizophrenic or just a bit, neurotic, or is it just my mind workin overtime.
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replied April 13th, 2009
Active User, very eHealthy
Telephic, don't as of yet know that Im a telepath, I don't know what you are talking about, perhaps you know this but I am unaware of it. Which could happen, if there are telepaths or knowing people and they told someone the truth the person they are telling may have no idea what they were talking about, albeit very true. For the sake of brevity could you put what you said in simpler terms, an experiment. And what if I didn't remember that that had happened to me, what you are saying I mean, I would think that you were a raving lunatic, kind've a funny thought, all of the smart ones looking crazy to the dumb ones.
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replied April 14th, 2009
thought broadcasting
Thought broadcasting is a symptom of schizophrenia. So all the mind reading thing is a symptom. That's from my textbook.
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