This is just something i've been considering over the past five months. I am, and have been in a solid place in recovery for some time now. Even though some challenges have arisen over that time span, I didn't get engulfed with the hardships and/or vulnerability, like I would have done in the past.

I am thinking about decreasing my therapy. I do not yet feel ready to go every second week, but what I am thinking about is maybe going three times a month, instead of four. I am now at a place where I have a life of my own, which has nothing to do with the eating disorder, and sometimes when asked by friends if i'd like to go to the cinema or something on my therapy day, I nearly feel like cancelling. I know it's good that i've created a life for myself separate from my ed, but the idea of going only three times a month is scary. However, I will be without the support of my therapist in november, whilst he is away on holidays.

I've noticed over the past while, that i've started to become a lot more upfront, even in the groups I attend. I have come at peace within myself, that it's ok to have a difference of opinion, or be upset with the facilitator of the group. However, it has become important for me to verbalise both current and past grievances. Some things i've said in the group, and others privately - this usually depends on the circumstances/situation.

It has become important for me to be honest to those around me, to the best of my ability, and I sincerely believe, that this needs to carry into the groups as well. For a while I was getting nothing out of the groups (thought i'd done as much as I could in the group I go to, considering the dynamics that exist there), but over the past few months i've been trying to act more proactively in regards to both owning my own values, but respecting that they do and can differ from the facilitators. Not sure if i'm making much sense here.

I guess what i'm looking for is some guidance on how do you know when it's time to start decreasing your therapy. Lately when I go to therapy, it's usually a discussion of further insights (few and far between), or changes i'm making. Whilst making these changes are important, it is no longer happening through the aid of therapy - I have become more proactive in doing things out of the therapy room - don't feel that therapy is necessary anymore for me to make these changes. Any input/advice or suggestions welcome here.
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replied September 1st, 2005
Ok I know what your talking about on a few levels.
Firstly the therapy sessions. It sounds like three times a month is ok for you because you seem to be able to have a " normal" life outside therapy. You have done really well and I can tell from the way you talk and thats a great thing. Also remember that things in life happen and sometimes they are not easy to deal with and if you can face those things on your own for just one week without seeing your therapist then I think it will show you how far you've come. Remember there is always the groups and perhaps you can go to them on the week your not seeing your therapist so you'll ease yourself out of that confort, you know. You can always try it and if you think that maybe 4 times a month would be better then i'm sure it will be no problem to go back. I think its about moving out from your confort zone and just seeing how you feel. You'll probably find that when you go three times a month you will have much more to talk about because you will be facing more challenges and experiencing life both its good and its bad. I think you should go with your intuition and you can always have four sessions a month if it doesn't work out. You will get there.
Secondly the groups, I do go them and I understand completely what you are saying but remember that its ok not to agree with everything being said because everyone is different and thats what great about the groups because everyone is so different and they see things in different ways, enabling other people to see different ways of thinking and viewing something within their life.
I know that everyone is really important in that group because although you may not agree with what certain people say at least you have realised that you have different values and you don't agree and thats a really good thing. Its important to realise that you may not agree with everything people say but it doesn't make you any less of a person, it just makes you a stronger person who knows what they believe in and stands up for those beliefs.
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replied September 2nd, 2005
Experienced User
Thanks for your reply, and giving me the motivation I need here. I am going to ask my counsellor when I see him next. Even if I don't do anything yet, at least, he will know that it's been something that i've been pondering lately. Also, I do need to get his opinion on the matter - he's the expert afterall :p !
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replied September 4th, 2005
Experienced User
I am off to therapy now. Am going to ask my counsellor about the possibility of cutting down. Think I will open up by asking him what things he thinks I still need to work on, and take it from there. Wish me luck :?
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replied September 5th, 2005
Good luck! And take his advice but I think that he will trust your opionion. You sound like you are at a very good stage of recovery and have learnt to trust yourself again and if not this can be the first thing you begin to trust yourself on again.
Remember you can always have 4 sessions a week if you don't like the 3.
Let us know how you get on.

Take care!
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replied September 5th, 2005
Experienced User
I broached the subject of possibly cutting down my sessions last night, and my counsellor thinks it's brillaint. I kind of chickened out though, from following through on it. I have realised that I need to talk more about it first, before it actually happens. Even thinking about the possibility of cutting down, has brought up so many fears, and feelings similar to that, when my previous therapist left. Even though I know i'm in a different place, and a lot stronger - I know I need this time to process it, and find the courage to follow through on it.

I can't believe that it might actually be happening though :o
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replied September 5th, 2005
See now you can work on those fears, fears which might not have been brought up if you had not suggested cutting down the sessions. So there is something good that will come out of this, you realise that there is still more to work on and by overcoming and working on the fears which are preventing you from cutting down on the sessions, it will help you to get to know yourself even better and be grateful to yourself that instead of putting you through things you are not yet ready for, you are brave and strong enough to work through your fears in order to overcome them and I can tell you that no everyone is as strong as that.
So when all is said and done even by having the thoughts of cutting down your sessions you have futhered yourself along in recovery.
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