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Raltionship over the internet !!!

I know this guy online since march, he lives in another country, different from mine. During april, he came to my country on a business trip. We contact each other daily through emails, phonecalls. He says he like me alot and want to work on things. I have feelings for him too. In fact, I had fallen for him.
He has purchase 2 airtickets for me, on in august, one in november to see him and have a holiday.

Things start to turn sour since june. I don't know whether its his work load, or he like someone else, or its because i'm starting to fall for him. I don't know is it that he's scare of committements or don't want to go any further than this.

I had purchase airticket to see him in oct to celebrate his birthday before things turn sour.

Now he's avoiding me like disease. I can't confirm 100% but it really feels like he's avoiding me. He doesn't reply my sms or emails or calls anymore. He doesn't call me or send me sms anymore. The emails just get lesser and shorter in content, all he says is his work. He used to answer my calls but now he says he's avoiding all his international work calls, and cos when I ring him, its unlisted, so he avoided it as well.

When I visited him in august, things already start to feel strange, the closness is not there anymore, and he stays very far away from me physcially, the distance between us can fit an elephant. I asked him whether he still likes me, and he said yes, or else, he wouldn't have ask me to go over. He said he could have asked me to stay in my country.
Despite all his words, I felt that the action just don't matched. From this trip....Things just start to turn very sour. There's no calls, no text. And 1 email per 1-2 days.


I felt that if I really mean the same to him, he would have still email me or send me text, and definately return my calls once he hear his voicmail.

Its only another 1 month to my departure date. I'm in a delima whether I should go or not. There is no refund to the ticket, its either I go or forsake $800 bucks.

If I don't go, I lose the money, and I wont know what's happening between us.
If I go,i'm afraid that he wont pick me up at the airport and i'm stranded there. (remember I can't contact him at all, its been like this for 1 week)
if he picks me up, i'm afriad that I will just ruin his birthday.
If I ask him to choose, i'm afraid that he will just ask me not to go. I'm really scared.

I know from now till my departure date is 1month, and many things can happen during this 1 month. Things can get better or get worse. Maybe I had wrong him, maybe its really because of stress during work and lack of time. After all, different people hand things differently.
But my instinct tells me i'm right. I'm worried that if for these 30days, I can't even contact him at all, is it extremely stupid of me just to turn up at the airport? Or at his house?

Please tell me what I should do. I'm really confused, worried and heartbroken.

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replied November 4th, 2018
(online)
Thank you for asking at Ehealth forum!

I read your question and I understand your concern.
I would suggest you to have CBT sessions before meeting him.
I hope it helps. Stay in touch with your healthcare provider for further guidance as our answers are just for education and counselling purposes and cannot be an alternative to actual visit to a doctor.
Take care
Khan
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