Have a quick question for other married men out there. (married men only please reply).
I am a married man for the past 8 years. I enjoy masturbating while watching porn, but most recently have started doing this with a fellow married friend. Is there any other married men out there that does this? How do you find the situation while doing this? How "normal" to you view it to be?
Our wives are not aware that this is going on.

Responses from other married men only please would be appreciated
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First Helper goinstrong
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replied November 9th, 2005
Active User, very eHealthy
Don't be concerned too much - guys masturbate together more often than you think. Are you masturbating together only, or are you masturbating one another? Even that isn't really wrong because it's just a way that guy friends "help each other out"; doing this does not make you gay or bisexual. Trust me on this - before I began dating him, my ex boyfriend and his friend once masturbated together to porn and they're both straight.

I apologize that i'm not a married man...I'm a college girl, but I know that guys do masturbate together. As long as you do not have sex with your male friend, I tihnk what you guys are doing is perfectly excusable, so don't sweat it. :wink:
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replied January 22nd, 2012
Since U advised on this I am curious if can advise regarding my question as well
I am a 37 year old man.I have been having recurrent Urinary Tract infections. I seem to be getting diverse advice besides medicines. 3 different doctors suggested that I need to masturbate at least once a day to facilitate healing & that congestion in terms or sexual desire seems to be the root cause.
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replied November 10th, 2005
Ok im not a men, but my hubby is right next to me reading your post and this is what he thinks. I totally agree with lilypad. If?? Your touching each other thats gay, I dont see how 2 guys can masturbate at the same time in the same room it dosent seem right is kinda odd!! Now unless your with a female their. Not a dude come on. It dosent seem right specially if your married. Why not ivite your wife instead??
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replied November 12th, 2005
Active User, very eHealthy
No, two guys touching each other does not mean they're gay. In my own opinion, two guys are not officially gay until they develop feelings for each other...Although that doesn't necessarily mean that guy-on-guy sex still means they're straight. But that's not what's happening here.

You must not get out much if you've never heard of straight guys masturbating together...And I know I don't get out a whole lot, so if I kow this, you guys must be hermits or close to it. There's nothing wrong with guys of any sexuality masturbating together - a person can have the most active and perfect sex life of anyone else on the face of the planet, and they would still masturbate...It's got nothing to do with his wife. Perhaps he doesn't ask his wife to watch because he doesn't want her to see his friend, or maybe because she isn't aware of the fact that guys do this a lot and she would be freaked out by it.

But, from what I could tell from his original post, he and his friend were not touching one another, but just masturbating in the same place to the same thing. Nothing's wrong with that.
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replied June 7th, 2007
I enjoy jacking with another guy too and it seems more common than anyone would realise. It is about sex and getting off with no strings. "Gay" is about the whole emotional involvement, attraction, affectionate names and whatnot. I can trade hand jobs with another man and when we're done, clean up, chat a little about our families or work or politics, shake hands and part ways. That's just about being horny and wanting to enjoy sexual pleasure with another like-minded person, not being gay, at least to me.
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replied June 10th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
I agree with cambion. I've also heard of this behavior (even seen it documented in a few web comics).

It does not make you gay if you masturbate in the vicinity of another masturbating man.
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replied June 10th, 2007
Yea......ummmm, No
how is that not cheating and not gay? it doesnt matter how common, u should get ur wife to help ya out, or let her know ur doin this.... maybe u can be swingers... but i would say ur cheating and acting on homosexual desires... although its not wrong to be that way, if thats what you like..... im not gay bashing......
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replied June 10th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
Re: Yea......ummmm, No
harwell02 wrote:
how is that not cheating and not gay? it doesnt matter how common, u should get ur wife to help ya out, or let her know ur doin this.... maybe u can be swingers... but i would say ur cheating and acting on homosexual desires... although its not wrong to be that way, if thats what you like..... im not gay bashing......


it is not cheating because neither men are having sex.

It is not gay because neither man feels love for the other.

it matters that it is common because that means it is normal.

How is being a swinger not cheating as compared to masturbating in the same room as someone else? I think you don't get the point that neither of these men are attracted to the other. They are not in love. They don't want to have sex with each other. They simply like sharing the experience of masturbating to porn.

He is not cheating, and he does not (from what I have read) have homosexual urges. I think you need to see more of the world.
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replied April 12th, 2010
Married and have been masturbating with my friend for years
I’m guessing by now that either you have stopped masturbating with your friend or you have gone to the next level. My friend and I watch porn and masturbate together, then we went to masturbating each other, and now we are at the point that we perform oral on each other. When our wives go out shopping or whatever, our wives know what we do.
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replied April 15th, 2010
Extremely eHealthy
Engaging in sex with the same gender can make you one of two things, neither of them is straight. Your feelings are not included in the definition of your sexuality. Masturbation is absolutly a form of sex. Anything that you're not telling your partner about is bad regardless of wheather or not you want to call it cheating.

Masturbation near someone else isn't the same as engaging in the sexual act of masturbation with someone else. However every man I have known that has ever masturbated openly in a room with other men has gone on to have sex with men without exception. It is a very normal launching point for bisexuality. You may not have any sexual attraction to men but the guy you're masturbating with very likely does.
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replied February 5th, 2011
The real point here is that a very large percentage of males actually have some sexual attraction to other males as a natural part of their sexuality. How they express it is largely determined by the society they live in. Human beings have the capacity to be quite bisexual at different times in their lives. Upbringing and social dogmas restrict this to very large extent.
Many men who have these normal feelings will not do anything about them because of years of programming telling them it is wrong and against the culture they have grown up in. If that culture was different and it openly accepted this type of behaviour, one would see a very different expression of male sexuality in reality.
Of course there are men who have no attraction to other males, just as there are some who have no attraction to females. But the true percentage of this would be more equal in a more liberal non homophobic society.
Males participating in group masturbation is just one avenue whereby they feel it is ok to express part of this sexual attraction to another male in the confines of the culture they live in.
Modern society feels the need to label everyone and put them in a box.
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replied April 29th, 2012
I have had limited exposure/experience with this topic. Once, an older brother and I had a masturbation experience with each other in the same bedroom. He masturbated - I did, too. We faced each other, standing about 2' apart. As his breathing quickened, he took a step toward me and ejaculated on my hand, belly and legs.

I kept masturbating. When I felt ready to "go," I stepped toward him and ejaculated on his genitalia.

In another instance, when in junior high, me best friend and I were alone in my bedroom. We talked sexy about our girlfriends. We grew erections. We pulled out our penises and began to masturbate. We shared a moment of mouth contact on each others' penises. We transitioned to hand play, and masturbated each other to orgasm.

Never happened again. I think about it now and then, but never had an urge to repeat. It's just stuff that adolescent boys sometimes do.
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replied January 31st, 2014
I agree with the view that many 'straight' men are also turned on by the idea/sight of another man masturbating. It may be the fascination men have for the miracle sensations of their penises or the implicit license seeing another man enjoying his penis seems to provide.
The critical difference was noted by another post above: Non-gay (yes, nothing wrong with that!) men, fascinated with the penis and the pleasure of masturbation, don't have the emotional interest or feelings for other men; they are not interested in 'relationships' beyond the shared experience of men masturbating together.
Curiously,(pun intended?) I would have no interest in masturbating with another man that I knew outside the milieu of shared masturbation. I would only enjoy it if it was a 'compartmentalized' activity-someone I had met only for the purpose of getting off together. We might become friends in a more traditional sense but it wouldn't be necessary.
Is it cheating? Maybe, but I would think it's a lot less likely to create problems than having the typical hetero affair.
I haven't done this but I think about it and probably would if the opportunity presented itself.
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