Medical Questions > Relationships > Broken Hearted Forum

Angry/sad Cuz I Know Hes Lyin And Cheatin.

Ive been with this guy for like 10 months. Recently I had gotten into his email and seen an old message where it sounded like he was breakin up with this girl at the end of oct...Which we woulda just started talkin. Well then I noticed him sending her a sexual text message one night awhile back, and he actually had me drive him to her house one night (she wasnt there) and he made me park on the street so she couldnt see the car (supposifly it was a guy that he was needing to get money from). I didnt know it was her house at first but I figured it out and he lied to me about who lived there, then I caught him there a week later and he lied to me more. A couple weekends ago we got into a big fight about it cuz I seen more text messages between him and her and he was askin her out to lunch and she said she had plans then he called and asked me! It sounded like he had went to her job to give her something. That same day there was an email from her with a list of shoes for her and her 2 kids (that arent his). So that friday we got into a big fight about it, I told him I was done and he could go on and be with her cuz I wasnt going to be second choice. Especially since we've been talkin so long (and I even got on the pill so we could stop using condoms) and then all this is comin up. Finally on sunday he calls and gives me some bs about his brother thats in prison and those are his kids and this and that. But I dont believe it.
This really hurts cuz I was practically in love with this guy. I cant understand why he would keep lyin over and over when he knows id do anything for him and id never do him wrongly. I mean it sounds like this girl just uses him and here I am, not to brag but I feel like im a pretty damn good girlfriend.
Maybe there is a chance hes not lyin but I dont think it looks like it...Im not sure what to do. I thought about talkin to him about it and tellin him that its driving me crazy and makin me not trust him so he needs to do something to make me feel more secure with it like call her and kinda introduce us or something if she is his brother g/f. If he wont do that I think im going to have to be done...And if it comes to that im tempted to call the girl myself and see whats going on but im afraid she'll be nasty!
I dont know...:( sorry for rambling and any helpful advice is appreciated!

Oh yeah to add even more confusion...I think he may be bipolar, (found some bipolar meds). Plus he seems to say how he feels smothered at times, when I have backed off and usually dont call him and wait for him to call me. If 1 day goes by that I dont talk to him or call him, he'll call me the next day and go on about "who's his replacement"...I just dont get it...:( he wants me then he doesnt...Then it looks like hes messin with someone else :(
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replied August 2nd, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
My opinion is to go on and live your life and do not wait for him, you might be waiting your life away aand mr. Right might be around the corner.
Good luck!
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replied August 2nd, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
He sounds like the kind of guy that you do not need in your life. I know you were hoping for a more positive response but I think its obvious that this guy has major issues. Im sure you could find someone else who would treat you the way you deserve to be treated. It sounds like he is really hung up on his ex girlfriend and I am pretty sure that he is cheating on you with her (or at least trying to) . Get out while you still can. I understand that you really like this guy but I think that once you get away from being with him and look back on how your relationship was turning to the worse, youll understand that it was the best possible thing for you to leave. It sounds like a really unhealthy relationship. You deserve better. Good luck.
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replied August 24th, 2005
vanessalouanne wrote:
he sounds like the kind of guy that you do not need in your life. I know you were hoping for a more positive response but I think its obvious that this guy has major issues. Im sure you could find someone else who would treat you the way you deserve to be treated. It sounds like he is really hung up on his ex girlfriend and I am pretty sure that he is cheating on you with her (or at least trying to) . Get out while you still can. I understand that you really like this guy but I think that once you get away from being with him and look back on how your relationship was turning to the worse, youll understand that it was the best possible thing for you to leave. It sounds like a really unhealthy relationship. You deserve better. Good luck.


sounds like a relationship I was in. Maybe you should call the girl,better off
doing things on your own. Dont worry about her getting nasty. Because if she does then that should almost tell you somthing is going on. It more than likely wouldnt work u asking him to introduce you to her. He would agree to it then more than likely put it off. So do yourself a favor and save yourself from any more heartbreak!
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replied August 24th, 2005
Hey I know its mainly women/girls in here but im desperate for some advice :( (and to make it clear men can be !**@!!)

i have this girlfriend right but shes being really horrible to me, she's saying stuff like I dont care about her anymore which I do and I have shown it but theres this other guy involved and shes saying that he cares about her more than I do and its getting me really worried that smthing might happen between these two can someone please help me and give me som advice on what to do? Please :(
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replied August 24th, 2005
Btw yeah I agree u shud call her yourself and see what happens if she gets nasty then there might be somthinggoin on srry :( good luck tho :)
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replied August 24th, 2005
confused comrade wrote:
hey I know its mainly women/girls in here but im desperate for some advice :( (and to make it clear men can be !**@!!)

i have this girlfriend right but shes being really horrible to me, she's saying stuff like I dont care about her anymore which I do and I have shown it but theres this other guy involved and shes saying that he cares about her more than I do and its getting me really worried that smthing might happen between these two can someone please help me and give me som advice on what to do? Please :(



easier said then done, but all you can do is be the best boyfriend you can be and let it go. What is going to happen will, and worrying about it, watching her every move wont help you or her. The more you watch over her and ask questions the farther it will push her away.
It sounds like she is insecure and there isnt anything you can do. Sorry it isnt more positive but I have been there myself, do whatver you can to talk to people, watch yourself, and take care of yourself, and let what happens happens, if something does, then it wasnt meant to be, and if she treats you horrible, you have to figure our why you think you should let someone treat you bad? When you deserve to be treated good. I know, easire said then done. Try a 12 step group that helped me.....
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replied August 24th, 2005
Nto What You Want to Hear
If he is going to be sneaky and lying about these things it really doesnt matter what he is really up to, I doubt it is his brothers g/f. He sounds like he is very confused, and needs mroe than one woman.
You wont be able to change him, and as much as you love him , why let someone treat you like that when you can do better? But first ask yourself why you would let someone treat you like that and fix that before getting involved again. I did the sdame thing with my ex for six years, he lied and cheated, and broke my heart over and over. It was enough, I had enough and found something I wanted more in life for me and my girls. But I loved him like no other man, and men like that are really good at being manipulators, and cons. They are also very charming and romantic, at least mine was, and they are like this with any woman. I thought it was just me, like iwas specail to him, boy was I wrong.
Understand that he is loving you the best he knows how, and it isnt going to change until he wants too. If I was you I owuld move on and truly find out why you would be with someone like him? But you have to do what you want and when you are ready.
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replied August 24th, 2005
Ano but I feel inseccure aswell and thats whats getting me down I feel as if I cant lose her :( (whats the 12 steps?)
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replied August 26th, 2005
Experienced User
Hun, you're gonna feel that way right now..But if something does happen, and you 2 end up splitting up, someday you will realize it was for the best. When you have another girl that loves you & you love her you will look back & realize you made a good decesion by breaking things off. Plus give her some time, treat her well, give her space & see how things go. I'm obviously a girl & I know at times I feel my bf don't care about me, and I tell him that..But deep down inside my heart I know he does & I know we are meant to be. Someday you will find the person you are supposed to be with forever..Give it some time & best wishes to you!
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replied August 27th, 2005
confused comrade wrote:
hey I know its mainly women/girls in here but im desperate for some advice :( (and to make it clear men can be !**@!!)

i have this girlfriend right but shes being really horrible to me, she's saying stuff like I dont care about her anymore which I do and I have shown it but theres this other guy involved and shes saying that he cares about her more than I do and its getting me really worried that smthing might happen between these two can someone please help me and give me som advice on what to do? Please :(



i know what to do....Cause about 6 months ago I did the exact same thing to my b/f...And I really regretted it after it was all done and said...Try to take her try to have soem fun with her...Surprise her..She's basicly acting that way because she wants some fun excitement and maybe they hang out alot or somthing...Wich u should try to step in between and spend as much time with her as she does with him...So that she not only see's you do care but u wanna be with her.
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