Medical Questions > Mental Health > Eating Disorders Forum

I Know This Is Just Another One On the List But I Need Help

Hi guys,

i have been reading some of these posts and they just make me want to cry. I am not a sufferer myself but have a good friend who is obviously bulimic but is so headstrong she would never admit to me. She has always had problems with her body image, and now I know she is buying laxitives.....
I know her problems would have stemmed from early high school when she was a little chubby, and also her mother who depletes her self image and spoils her so much and I think she even buys the laxitives for my friend....
She is the kind of girl that everybody loves, and so beautiful - but she is also so good at lying that it is impossible for her to admit she has a problem. She can just spin lies to your face, she told another friend of mine that the laxitives were given to her by her doctor.... She is so smart too, and I could go on for hours but basically if anyone knows a good way to approach her about her bulimia - keeping in mind she just lies and denies all the time, I would be so grateful as I am reading all these side-effects and they are making me so sad to know she is doing this to her own body.....(and I estimate she has been bulimic for about 1 year and a half to 2 years maybe, but it's starting to show now)

sorry for the long post, I would appreciate any help I can get.....

Thank you,

nutmeg
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replied August 1st, 2005
This Is Like a Ps:
It's nutmeg,
i was thinking of sending my friend a text message referring her to this site - that way there wouldn't be any on-the-spot confrontation and she could even pretend she didn't get the mesaage or delete it if she wanted without having to lie. And she would be with people who understand and relate as I can't. Would this work or is it impersonal?

Thanks,

nutmeg
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replied August 2nd, 2005
Experienced User
No its not impersonal, sometimes you need to work things thorugh privatly first, so its a good idea to refer her here, let her abosrb the info and then talk about it. Bare in mind she may think your nust for thinking she has a problem. Does she even know about eating disorders? I didn't think I had one untill I did some research, I just thought I was being weight concious. If she has been bulimic (she could also be anorexic, or ednos bulimia is only if you binge* then purge) will probably feel really attached to it, like she cant stop otherwise she'll get fat. She needs therapy and someone to be there for her unjudgementally. But people with eating disorders can be very sneaky, I know that I tell everyone i'm getting better and make it look like i'm taking posotive steps, but really i'm just lying and being even more deceptive so I can keep on doing what i'm doing. Its a sad little world, and if you can rescue her she will be forver gratefull (when she better, she may hate you for a while, but its only a phase) hope all goes well, xoxo

*binging is when ou eat uncontroably, like up to 20, 000 calories in one sitting then either purge, excercise or take laxatives to rid your body of the food and calories. The fact she is merely taking laxatives and purging may be symptoms of ednos or anorexia, but her doc will diagnose her properly
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replied August 11th, 2005
Thanks
Thanks for that,
yeah she knows what she has, she is smart - I think it's a case of knowing what you're doing but not being able to stop....
Well I just sent her a message so I hope she comes here, maybe just reading the posts would help. This site is really good because although you guys help each other, everyone justs puts it out there - if you're not getting better - you tell people and that honesty is really good.

Wow, I just got a reply from her and she doesn't hate me :o)

thanks for having such a good website and I hope all of you are able to get where you want to be and regain your health and love of life :o)

you are all so beautiful.

Nutmeg
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replied August 15th, 2005
Experienced User
I think it would be important for you to either tell her one on one (and not by text or e-mail) that you are concerned about her. Texts and e-mails can be construed the wrong way - was in such a situation recently with a good friend. We talked about the issue we had after an e-mail had been sent, and cleared the air. Just tell her that you're concerned about her, and if ever she needs to talk that you're there. There really isn't much more you can do than that. No one can help someone if they don't want the help. I have been in recovery for a long time, and it's really only over the last 18 months that i've been in what I classify as real recovery, as there is a differnece between wanting an wishing for it. Sometimes, you want recovery, but without doing the work to get there - so that is more like wishful thinking. These are just my views on the matter...
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