Somebody please give me some advice! I am so depressed I don't even know what to do with myself. I'll start from the beginning. Last year after I graduated high school my mom kicked me out and I moved in with my boyfriend. 6 months later we moved across the country to his hometown, where I know no one. Then, this july we got married, with no wedding, because his family is poor and mine doesn't want anything to do with us. But that's not the problem, I didn't need a wedding, I didn't care. Ever since I have left I just hate myself. Not for leaving, I don't know why. We are so poor, we have nothing, haven't even paid rent in 3 or 4 months. I got pregnant shortly after we got married, and I almost feel that if it weren't for this baby I would have absolutely no reason, no desire to live. I feel that there is no point to my life. I live in an area that has no jobs(especially for a pregnant woman). I worked when we first moved here but got laid off and can't find work again. My husband just got laid off this week and now we have no income. However he should start monday again. I feel so useless. We have only 1 car(that he drives to work without insurance because we can't afford it) and I live stranded alone in the woods. I have no friends, nobody to talk to. I have no point to get up in the morning-to watch tv? I haven't left the house in weeks. I sleep till 1 and go to bed at 10, because there is nothing for me. I rely on my husband to take care of me, and I hate it, I need a job, I need to get out of this house. And when I try to talk to him he doesn't understand, nobody does, nobody can help me. Every time it looks like we're moving foreward we're pulled back twice as far. Once we had to write a hot check just to have some food, and that led to another, another...We can't even afford an attorney to claim bankruptcy. I'm so lonely. Somebody please tell me something, anything...Just talk to me...Please. I'm all alone
Did you find this post helpful?
|

replied January 3rd, 2004
Experienced User
Wow! Life can be so hard sometimes. It seems unfair that you should have to be cooped up in that house. I strongly suggest you talk to your boyfriend and tell him that you are becoming severly depressed. Tell him that if you can't get a job or join a women's group for mother's to be you will lose it. Be honest and up front with him. Tell him you appreciate all his hard work, but you need some interaction with the world so you can make friends.
Why don't you write a letter or try calling your parents. Even if it's just a letter, write them and tell them your feelings. Tell them you need at least their emotional support. Tell them that you aren't asking them to accept your situation, but you are their daughter and that will never change so they could at least call to say they love you every once in awhile.
I also suggest taking walks. Go for 30 minute walks or even just 15 minutes and get some fresh air. Being in the house all day is so unhealthy for anyone. It can make depression so much worse.
You and your husband should apply for acchs(access). It is insurance for low income people. Not for the car, but for your health. You could get into see a Dr. Who could help with your depression and maybe even hook you into some places to find jobs and make friends.
I will say some prayers for you and I wish you the best of luck!!
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied January 5th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
I agree,

1) talk to your husband
2) write to your family (parents & others) & friends back where you used to live.
3) go for short walks outside everytime you get upset & look at all the beauty of nature
4) find a women's group for mums to be/young mums (you'll be one soon & will benefit from their support & advice) - if you can't get to town do this on-line
5) check out about the health insurance
6) are there any community help organizations (check phone book or local library) that might be able to put you in touch with some free legal aid & other help you obviously need
7) smile - trust me do it - right now- smile you will feel better, every time you look in the mirror smile, put smilie faces up everywhere, dray them in the dirt when you go for a walk & smile, it really does help you feel better.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied January 5th, 2004
:d hi new mommy,

how are you doing? Manoz and purple have given you some good advice. Have you taken any of it? If so what have you done?

Please let us know. Getting kinda worried here!
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied January 5th, 2004
Well sorry guys that I haven't responded-i posted so long ago, months ago actually and nobody responded for so long that I just gave up. Well today I got an email that people responded, so thank you all-i appreciate it so much.

For an update, i'm now 24 weeks, 3 days pregnant and doing well. I've still had no real bad complications. We found out at 16 weeks that we're having a girl, and we're naming her ashleigh mae, after tj's grandmother. She's due april 23.

My husband did not end up going back to work, and finally just found another job about 2 weeks ago. We haven't paid rent yet, and our landlord is about to kick us out, but my husband did get a good enough job that we need to move over there anyway(its over an hour and a half away). Also, it will turn out to be a great paying job as well. The time that he was home was good and bad. Bad because we had no income and were struggling, but we got foodstamps and stuff. It was good, however, because it gave us time together again and brought us a bit closer.

I still have no friends, but i'm not as depressed as I was. I do still keep in touch with my family(my mom) and she's accepted and is excited(she says) about being a grandma, but actions speak louder than words. My father was great, he sent us some money when our car got impounded for no insurance and got the car out for us and got us insurance. Unfortunately my husband will lose his liscense because of that.

I joined an aol mommies group online, which is great because I always have email and chatrooms to go to when i'm online, with mom's of all ages, some my age and pregnant, my age with 4 kids, older and pregnant, older with many kids. Its very nice and releiving.

Also, I got a job finally, at mcdonalds but at least i'm getting out of the house. They were the only people that would hire a pregnant woman. Unfortunately, the pregnancy is taking a toll, the baby sits on a major nerve and makes standing very painful. The Dr. Put me on bed rest for a couple days to try to shift her but she must take after her fathers stubborness...Lol. I can only work 5 hour shifts now, but I prefer that to 8 hour shifts. This made my boss mad, though, and she only gave me 7 hours this week. But oh well.

So, as you can see, i'm surviving. Life isn't as perfect as I would like it to be, but I can be blamed for getting married so early and having a baby. Hopefully i'll be able to start school again in the fall.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied January 6th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
I think I speak for all 3 of us when I say we're glad things are looking up & that you & the baby are well & it's great that you & your husband got that time together before the baby comes along.

Keep smiling again I mean it do it as much as you can, get into the habit before the baby is born because babies really tire you out & stress you. So you need to develop some ways of coping with all that now, when you have 2 seconds to think!!

Some ways of destressing when young ashleigh mae arrives is to put her in a pram/stroller & take her for a walk, anywhere (indoors/outdoors/shops whatever) it relaxes you & her at the same time so makes everyone happier. You will panic about everything when she arrives, that's just because you're a new mum & has nothing to do with age. Also don't be too set on going back to school after she's born, it just may not be possible straight away. No-one can take on everything at once. Give yourself some time to recover & to get used (not that you ever really do!!) to being a mother & enjoy the cuddles.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied January 7th, 2004
:d
hi,

what 'purple' said. I too, am very glad things seem to be working out for you. It's also great that you and your baby have good medical care. I think it's good that you are in a group for new moms. They will be especially helpful once the baby arrives as you will probably experience 'post partum depression' (perfectly normal) and they will be able to help you through this as well.
It sounds like 2004 is off to a good start for you.

Take good care and keep in touch!!
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied January 9th, 2004
Update On New Mommy
Well, how are you now?

Renee
|
Did you find this post helpful?
Quick Reply
Answers to Similar Questions
User Profile
Dr. Madhumita Avinash Paul
User Profile
Anand J. Singh
User Profile
Bhupinder HirA
User Profile
Anand J. Singh
User Profile
Dr. Nikola Gjuzelov
Must Read
Do you know how doctors define clinical depression? Learn more about this brain disorder and types of depression that doctors diagnose here....
Can depression run in families? Can hormones really make you depressed? Yes! Learn more about causes and conditions of clinical depression here....
People with depressive illnesses do not all experience the same symptoms. Do you know the signs and symptoms of depression? Read on to learn more....