Medical Questions > Mental Health > Self Injury Forum

Cutting Always In the Back of My Mind...

I have no idea why. I started a couple of years ago and it only lasted a few months...My boyfriend found out so I felt stupid and embarrassed and I stopped. For the past few years it's always been in the back of my mind but i've always thought to myself "my body doesn't deserve to suffer for what's going on outside". I've never really told anyone about it though, and the only comment I got from my mum was that it was stupid and she hoped i'd never do it again. A few weeks after my bro found out that I had cut my arms I actually found out that he had bashed his knuckles up, so I think that's what really made me stop. But now I don't live at home and recently i've really been feeling the urge to cut again. I just tried to talk to my boyfriend (whom i'm living with now) about it but he just seemed all uncomfortable and shrugged it off like he didn't think I was serious. It was hard enough for me to start to talk about it because i'm really embarrassed, so I don't know what to do... Someone please give me a clue as to what to do to take my mind off it! I feel like the only person who could help me would be a professional.
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replied July 14th, 2005
It doesn't seem like your boyfriend is helping, you probably should see a professional if you can its very important to discover why you're cutting and they can help you with that. You can try running or excercise it always seemed to make me feel better, or maybe writing how you feel at the moments before you cut. I can't gaurantee any of those will work but its worth a try. I would talk to a professional or some adult at my school that I really trust if it weren't for the fact they'd tell my parents and that just can't happen so... Yeah. I know its really hard to stop once you get started so just keep that in mind, you can read my posts and see if there's anything there that helps, good luck!
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replied July 14th, 2005
You Are Not Alone
About 7 months ago the exact same thing was happening to me. It drove me crazy and scared the crap out of me at the same time. I havent thought about it for about 4mnths now and that makes me very happy although the other day I had a miscarriage and out of frustration and not knowing how to deal with the many emotions that go with it the thoughts came back to me. I instantly replaced them with anything I could think of that was positive then it went away. Just remember you are in control of your thoughts and actions even though at times it may feel like you are not.if you need a chat feel free to drop me a line I only discovered this tonight but I think I will frequent it regulary. Take care sweetie xo I look forward to chatting with you :)
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replied April 17th, 2010
Middle schooler on the border
I''m in middle school and i''m always thinking about cutting myself and it has been getting worse and it is because of my dad and brothers there always picking on me and it has been hard to resist
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replied April 20th, 2010
Supporter
Honey-there are better things to do than hurt yourself further..You say your dad and brothers pick on you..Hey if you hurt your own self wouldn't they be getting one up on you? cutting is no the right thing to do-you would be adding another pain and you don't need anymore-do you?

I guess I just think that anyone you allow to hurt you that you have given them the ok to do that..Don't become invisible in all that is going on..You are probably the youngest and I bet they don't understnad what they are doing or how it makes you really feel..
Let them know..Journal your feelings and ask them all to a meeting, let them know it's important.If you can't getthem to a meeting then when everyone is in same room bring things up..Talk with your school councelor and get their advice as well..Sometimes teasing can be overdone and it becomes picking..Speak up for yourself honey..You can do it..If need be what you write down give to your parents to read and let them know you don't like being treated wrong..hugs for you honey..k
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replied January 29th, 2011
All u ppl that reply feel the same way.good knows why, but I do to. be strong. We can ddo this with out cuttin. Hold onto what keeps u strong...
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replied June 16th, 2011
Cutting&Guys
You see I've wanted to cut myself since 09,There was this boy named dylan,I was in major love with him and I still am,We dated he never called me since this year was the first time,I've saw him since then,I've only cut myself 2 times but,I want to cut more to see if he'll ever care I just don't think he did even to this day today i think maybe the last time I ever see him I just don't want to be depressed anymore! I Love him so so much
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replied September 30th, 2011
I really don't want to be rude. This is just my opinion of things I've thought of in the past to get me through some hard feelings but....just in case you didn't, you should really measure out whether what you're feeling is love or obsession. Love is willing to let go for the benefit of whom you love, as tough as it may be. Love is being patient with the one you care about. Obsession is more selfish than that. You could have a mix. You could love Dylan, and be obsessed with him for the reasons you love him.

Either way, I don't think cutting yourself is worth it. If you scar easily, you're just making yourself look ugly. Sometimes I look at my scars and regret them. You don't want Dylan to think little of you either. What if he sees your scars and says "Wow, I can't believe I even dated you" That would be crushing. And if you do get over him because you realize that all of this isn't healthy for either of you, do you really want to tell the next person, I did this to myself because I wanted a boy to notice me?!

Don't make cutting a habit. It is actually, in my opinion, a bad addiction. Don't start something so bad that so many people struggle to stop with over this.

There has to be a deeper reason for you doing this. Why do you want Dylan to love you or care about you so much? Why is his love so important to you? Why him? I think you should look into yourself and ask yourself this. It may lead to reasons why you love him but that's not a bad thing.

All in all, be happy that you love/d him, and that he loved you. Never regret and don't do something you may regret, like cutting. Love is beautiful and thank him in your heart for that. When you can, ask him why he became so rudely disconnected from you. Until then, this is seriously gonna suck more than you could ever know, but, be independent. Stand completely on your own and find strength and motivation in things for yourself.

I'm sorry if I said too much. Like I said, just thoughts I've had... Good luck and try and kick the habit now while you still have the strength. It keeps going downhill otherwise. If you need to talk...you can email me. I'm just a person, not a professional. I can be just a friend. I'm here.
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replied July 16th, 2011
cutting
Im feeling the same as all of you i dont know why i do it its just when everything gets to much for me i cut myself as im doing it i cry and then laugh it off because i think its the rite thing to do .. people dont see and feel how things can get for me because i feel that they dont want to listen i have been feeling like this for 2 years nesrly 3 and i just cant stop. its upsetting people around me and who knows where i will be in a few years time ... Im not proud of what i have done and i dont think that i ever will be x
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replied July 18th, 2011
i am the same and in that situaton now. i use to self harm.. toke the anger away abit. i loved doing it just to relieve some pain.. now i look at my scars and think why did i do it ? ive scarred my body. i still get thoughts about doing it again whenever i feel depressed or stressed. xx
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replied September 30th, 2011
Cutting is a bad habit. I feel so suffocated in the fact that almost every night I have the urge but I know that I can't. I just want the freedom to just cry and yell and be sad and cut to my heart's content. But I know if I had that....I'd kill myself....eventually....
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replied October 1st, 2011
I guess I just think that anyone you allow to hurt you that you have given them the ok to do that..Don't become invisible in all that is going on..You are probably the youngest and I bet they don't understnad what they are doing or how it makes you really feel..
Let them know..Journal your feelings and ask them all to a meeting, let them know it's important.If you can't getthem to a meeting then when everyone is in same room bring things up..Talk with your school councelor and get their advice as well..Sometimes teasing can be overdone and it becomes picking..Speak up for yourself honey

Read more: Self Injury Forum - Cutting Always In the Back of My Mind... http://ehealthforum.com/health/topic37719. html#ixzz1ZWPe2A3i
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replied November 27th, 2011
i feel its an addiction i was in a bad place needed to feel something starting cutting... got caught went to docs e.t.c stopped for a while till something went wrong again this cycle continued for years. then i realised i hadn't done it in a long time years passed, now i shuould be happy and the urge the need has started again................
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replied February 14th, 2012
Cutting
I have a girlfriend that comes from a very wealthy family and a very healthy family. She always has some drinks and then talks about how rough her life is. And likes to scratch her leg with a sewing needle. It is driving me nuts. I want to grab a knife and show her how to cut and tell her how life was for me. But I never get a chance. Because the poor oh me routine.
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