Medical Questions > Relationships > Broken Hearted Forum

Advice For a Broken Heart

Hello,


I am 26 and my now ex gf is 24. We have been going out for a year and 7 months. We did share a shore house with a bunch of her friends and a few freinds of theirs. At the bar this past weekend she broke up with me. Everything was fine and I was dancing and I noticed that a guy bought her a drink and she seemed to smile when he did. I have seen this before because my gf was a flirt and outgoing, I always ignored it because she always came home with me. She had never cheated on me. I was just having fun dancing and she came over with a pout on her face, I asked her if she would liek to dance and she declined and said that we need to talk. We went outside the bar ad she said she needs time for herself right now.

She wanted o go back inside immediatly, but I thought we would leave and talk some more. I waited at the front but she did't show up. When I went to where she was she was crying with some friends but managed a smile when that guy quickly said something in her ear.

I told her that I was drunk and didnt know how to get back she said to take a cab.

I then took a cab back to the shore house and preceeded to drive 2 hours back to my house, she did not call and I called and she had went to another bar.

Anyway the next morning I got up early and drove back down to see if it is all for real, it was.

She said that she was scared that we were to serious, she wants to be single, she is only 24. Most importantly she said that it wasnt the same and she needs time to be by herself and think.

Well I was completely shocked by this and I am devastated. It came out of no where and she was very callous to do it like that at a bar.

She says she has lsot feeling and that a break is needed to think things through.

Well this was 5 days ago and I am still shocked, depressed.

Not only did she break up with me but ruined my summer, I would not want to go back there.

I really treated her like gold, and took care of here after she has double hip replacement surgery. I would see her all the time.

Is this relationship over?
When someone says they need time, do they ever come back.

Another thing to mention is one freind is single and the gf and her are bfs. I think she pressures her to be single so they can pick up guys together.

All other friend in the house adore me and have written me nice lettters saying to give her time and she will hopefully come to her senses.
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replied July 13th, 2005
I'm Sorry
Hi paragon-

i'm sorry to hear what happened. These are never easy situations! I think you hit it on point when you said all of her friends are single. I've had this happen so many times , my girlfriends will be single and i'll have a bf and they make me feel bad for not being the same person and being "married". It can take its toll on a person. Her gals were probably putting a little pressure on her and then she started to stress out and overanalyze everything.

The best advice I can give is to give her the space she needs and hopefully she will come around. That is the hardest part, but what other choice do you have? Please don't let it ruin your summer. I know that its only been 5 days so you will probably be sad for a while yet, just try to keep yourself busy by hanging wtih friends, working, gym time... Ect.

If you really love her and believe shes' the one...Wait it out, she'll come to her senses on day.
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replied July 13th, 2005
Thanks krissy girl,


I really do love her and do hope she comes to her senses. Till then I think it will take some time to get over her. It is tough at night and I have been trying to set other things up with my friends. I just worry that she will be going crazy down the shore with other guys, etc. Especially when I gave so much to this relationship.

Thanks for the advice
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replied July 13th, 2005
Experienced User
The exact same thing happened to me quite a few years back, by then boyfriend just came up to me one day and told me that he thought that we should take a break. It totally tore me up inside, I just didn't know what way was up. I was totally confused, but I gave him the time that he had asked for. We were separated for about 2 weeks before I got the phone call telling me that he was sorry, and couldn't live without me. That was 9 years ago, and now we are happily married, and trying for our first baby. It turned out that he was also pressured by his friends to break up with me.

Just give her the space that she desires, and have faith in her, some stories do have a happy ending. :wink:
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replied August 27th, 2006
Im only 18, but I had a gf of 4 years leave me over money... I know how you feel man, but i've found me someone else, if she left you for that guy then she isnt worth it, get away, talk to other people, and wither wait it out of find someone new, I suggest finding someone new, it worked wonders for me
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replied August 29th, 2006
badhlth wrote:
im only 18, but I had a gf of 4 years leave me over money... I know how you feel man, but i've found me someone else, if she left you for that guy then she isnt worth it, get away, talk to other people, and wither wait it out of find someone new, I suggest finding someone new, it worked wonders for me


i agree with you more than everyone else's advice to give her time. I think that if the girl broke up with you, then you should definitely consider yourself totally single. Try and meet lots of new people and pray for your broken heart to heal. In time, if you and your ex are still both single and decide to get back together, then fine, but for the time being, to hell with her. She's not into you anymore. That's the cold hard truth.
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replied August 29th, 2006
Extremely eHealthy
Give her her space but remember, you have a life too and you might meet meet someone that will treat you with more respect!
Good luck!
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replied August 29th, 2006
Experienced User
Let It Go Bro...
Big world,.Lots of crap happens,youll be ok.
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replied September 2nd, 2006
Indeed, mostly_afriad, it took me forever to get over her. I bet ifyou found out your ex has screwed 4 guys in the last week youd turn off of her quick... Oh well, like I said, just look around, if you and her work out, thats great, if it dosent move on, it can be more rewarding, I now have a woman who is 10x better than my ex
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