Hello,
well I won't hide it I am anorexic sometime bulimic but well that is less of a probleme to me at the moment... I have not purged in like three days because I am not really eating ..... I am feeling a bit dizzy when I go to stand up after resting and I can't seem to get to sleep at all I try but I just can't I am very fidgety and don't really know why my head hurts a lot but well I think that is probably caused by lack of sleep and having a little brother in the house that always screams and also having a new born sister that can't seem to get any sleep at night.. My hands and feet are always cold I go oout side in a temperature of 35 degrees and I am freezing.. I am not quite ready to stop although I agnolidge the dangers of this illness.. Is there any supplements I can take to ease the symptoms ?? I know I should eat but well I can't without losing control and ending up making myself sick in the long run.
I also find that when I constantly do exercise it is less bad cause I can't think of how I feel and I really don't care it is only when I stop that I realise how week I am so I end up doing sit ups crunches and push-ups all nigh and running on the treadmill .. That I would like to stop cause well I want to start by that and slowly make my way to a normal and healthy eating habit
thank you ashley
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replied July 13th, 2005
Hey hun, yep there are alot of supplements you can take, I don't know them all of by hand at the moment but I can find out for you and don't worry they do not make you put on weight they just help with your systoms.
Have you told anyone that you have an eating disorder? I really think you should go and see a therapist because unlike what many people think, therapy is not about putting on weight its about helping you to find a new and more positive way to cope with life.
I am like you, sometimes in the morning I can't even get up because my arms and legs are so weak but I always seem to manage to get on with my day and usually as the day goes on I forget about it and its only when I am on my own that I remember all of the things in my body that hurt.
I have had an eating disorder for long enough now and its not fun at all, I think it is so sad that there are so many people who suffer from ed because they all must be going through hell and I would hate for anyone to have to experince that.
You do deserve so much more then to be running on a treadmill, do you ever think about where you want to go? You run but never really get anywhere, isn't that sad? Use that as a metaphor for your eating disorder. Although you run and run and run, you always end up in the same place, never really moving. Having an eating disorder, is like running, you run and run and run but in the end you don't get anywhere because you still feel like crap, you still live in hell and your weight either high or low will never be good enough, there will be always one more run to take. When do you think its time to stop running away ut instead face your fears, question who you are and what you want out of life because you could be the thinnest person alive yet still be living in hell, is that what you want?
Weight and food is not the issue, your negative thougths about yourselve, your low self esteem, your feeling of worthlessness, that is what you have to change.
When you feel lighter in your thoughts, you will feel lighter in your body but at the moment your thoughts are so heavy and so negavtive that your body reflects how you think and feel and so you think you need to lose weight.
You deserve more out of life than to be running no where, think who or what are you running from, what are you so scared of that you have to run from life?
I really feel for you because I know exactly what your going through, there is hope and you will recover, when you chose to.
I'm here anytime you need to talk.
Take care!
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replied July 14th, 2005
Hi.. Quick question: is it bad if I just threw up blood ? I've been bulemic for about 4 months and for the past 2 months i've been thowing up at least once a day.... Is this getting too serious?
--thanks!
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replied July 14th, 2005
Yes it is very bad if you are throwing up blood. Bulimia is not to be taken lightly, there are so many serious effects which are caused by bulimia and eating disorders in genral.
Have you thought about seeing anyone to help you deal with it? You see I have said it many times before, eating disorders are not about weight and food, they are, are way of coping with life because we don't know how else to deal with it.
Having an eating disorder can be very lonely and very scary at times because you tend to issolate yourself alot from your family and friends.
I just want to tell you full recovery is possible and you will get there even if you don't believe you are in need of help at the moment there will come a time when you will do the right thing for you and remember when that time comes and you feel scared of unsure, rememeber there is always hope and you will get there, you will!
I'm sorry I can't be more helpful but read some of the other posts and see what you get from them k.
I hope your well, take care of yourself

the best of luck
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replied July 14th, 2005
Brokenbutterfly,

have you recovered from your eating disorder? If so, how long? Just curious, as I had an eating disorder and recovering. Although, I think an eating disorder is like an alcoholic--always in recovery never fully recovered. The difference is that an alcoholic can completely avoid alcohol, but a person with an eating disorder has to face food everyday (even though it is not always about food, food is always the tool)
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replied July 15th, 2005
No I am not fully recovered to be honest i'm at the stage where I don't want help but am getting it anyway. The reason I know full recovery is possible is because in the therapy centre I go to I have met so many recovered people that I know it is true.
If you get threrapy at it is based around food or weight then I can understand how you might think recovery is not possible. Recovery is not about food or weight although that is what we use as a coping mechamisn for dealing with life.
Recovery is about discovering who you are, what you want out of like, it is about freeing your thoughts from being so negatitive about yourself to being much more positive. Recovery means that you can love yourself and knowing that its ok because you deserve it. There is so much that recoverying from an eating disorder entails but I know with no doubt whatsoever that recovery is possible sure I have many therapists in the centre I go to and they all had eating disorders but are now fully recovered, so not inly do I have friends around me that are fully recovered I also have therapists.
Can I suggest you read a book called " hope" by marie campion, you'll be able to order it on the internet. Please read it and let me know what you think?
I hope you are doing well , take good care of yourself!
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