Hello,
my ex-girlfriend,35, was abused by her parents and her 2 ex-husbands.She moved in back with her mother after her 2nd divorce.She was so afraid of her mother.I couldn't call her or e-mail her because her mother was always looking behind her back.We never went on a date.The only time I saw her is when we were at work or when her mother was gone.She had to get home at a certain time so her mother wouldn't be suspicious.When I gave her gifts,she hid them in her purse so that her mother wouldn't see them.I even asked her to move in a apartment with me,but she said no because she said that she had a obligation to her mother for letting her move back in with her.I never abused her in any way,shape or form.She had a Dr.Jekyll/mr. Hyde personality.One minute she was kind,the next minute angry. I understood her situation and accepted it.I loved her and I thought she loved me.Then I found out that she was dating another man behind my back and she was moving in with him.I felt betrayed and used.Only after a couple of months of dating, they got married.I didn't understand why she did this to me.When I e-mailed her to tell her that a friend died,she threatened me with a restraining order.Then it hit me all of a sudden.I had a gut feeling that she is being abused again by her husband.I have no proof,but I have a bad feeling.Is she drawn to abusive men and why?
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replied June 18th, 2005
Experienced User
I Hate to Say It
But... It seems to me that she is just really messed up, probably from prior abuse but doesnt it seem to you that the reason she would only see you at work and she would hide your gifts is because she was with this other man all along. I mean why would she have to hide the relationship with you and not with the other man. Now she is married to him and obviously her mother knows about it? I think maybe she may be prone to abusive guys but it might be that she just likes to play games. I would advise giving this relationship up for your own well-being move on. I hope this helps.
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replied June 18th, 2005
Didn't Tell
She didn't tell her mother about her new boyfriend either.She didn't invite her mother to the wedding.The last I heard that she wasn't talking to her.
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replied June 25th, 2005
Experienced User
Wow
Well... I am going to say that I know you must care for her alot... And you are probably really concerned. But move on with your life you can not choose something for someone that they dont want, therefore you can not tell her she must stop being abused and be with you. You are also not responsible for any other individual it is her choice to stay with this man and he may not even be abusive. She may just have moved on... Sorry dont mean to be rude.
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