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Would U Tell Your Bestfriend U Were In Love Wih Them?

I think i'm falling in love with my best girl friend(i'm a girl too by the way)i think shes strait although we have kissed a few times when drunk. Should I tell her how I feel and risk ruining the friendship? What would u do?
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First Helper emogirl97
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replied August 27th, 2005
Experienced User
Tough choice...No one can tell you what to do, only you can appreciate if it is worth taking the chance. Considering the fact that you have kissed a few times it is very likely for her to feel the same way.

I would suggest creating a proper atmosphere and telling her gently, not pressuring her in any way...Afterwards she may need a little space, a little time to think about this....You have to give it to her....However, make it clear from the very beginning that there is no pressure, that you are not really sure of what is going on as well and that if she chooses not to give it a try you can still remain friends and you will behave as if any of this has happened.

What do you say abut that?

I realize my message came a little too late considering the date you posted...But anyway...Maybe you'll read this...If so, pls let me know who everything went...

Good luck!
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replied August 27th, 2005
Hey, I know what you goin thru there lg. Im in love with my best mate who's a guy (im a guy btw) and I want to tell but I think he would hate me
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replied May 17th, 2006
Experienced User
a Long Romanic Story...the Two I Love...now My One!
For the longest time I have lust over one of my best friends that I ever had...I keep all this feelings inside...There was so much I wanted to say and when I said I love you I meant it in another way...I never told her because I valued what we had and I didnt want to lose that too. Years went by and I was unable to see her.Then this last year I happen to see her! With the same powerful love bond. We picked up right where we left off! I could believe it! I thought about telling her, but I didnt. And I never will now. Although I still dream of not quite as much or filled with the desire I once had for her! Sadly I havent heard from her in a while...I may never see her agian! Thats ok now for I have the one I love and this time he's here to stay. Before I met her I didnt know how to form deep feelings for another. That has all changed. I love my husband to be! I thought I would always end up with a girl but he beat them all to it! I can honestly say I wouldnt want it anyother way. He my love and the one to complete my heart and soul!
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replied July 1st, 2006
Experienced User
I am in the same type of situation!

But my best friend is married to a guy so she is off limits no matter what!

I am close enough to her that she is more of a sister to me then anyting else and I have said "i love you" but I always phrased it to sound like it was a general "your part of my family" sort of sentiment then the "i think your really hot and want you as a girl friend" sort of sentiment.

I am also really good friends with her husband so I just couldn't do anything to disrupt either of those friendships.

After a few years I did realize that I was attracted to women that look a lot like her... I even quit a job because I couldn't stop lusting after my manager! When I thought about it later I realized that she was almost a carbon copy of my friend!!

It is complicated but I decided that I wanted her friendship more then a relationship.

I am now contented with what I have! Two really good friends!
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replied August 20th, 2009
Help
I am in love with my bestfriend too. We have been friends for a long time. and the feeling only started coming up this year. I have kissed her before and we fool around and she puts my hands on her boobs and stuff and we kiss passionately when drunk Smile but i cant tell anyone about how i feel. she has a boyfriend and she is always taken. it hurts for me to watch and i get majorly jealous of her boyfriends... i want to tell her because I dont know how much longer I can keep it in.. does anyone want to help? what should i do?
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replied May 3rd, 2010
I did tell my best friend I loved her.
I am in love with my best friend too and I DID tell her that I was in love with her two years ago. She initially freaked out and cut me off for a whole year (worst year of my life) We both lived on campus so I saw her everywhere, but she wouldn''t even make eye contact with me and she blocked me from facebook and told people I was a stalker. This all may sound very daunting...but there is a silver lining..believe it or not. Last year we sat down and had a long...long...longggg talk...and I basically lied and told her I didn''t like her like that anymore and that her friendship was very important to me. We gradually started hanging out again and then getting drunk together and kissing each other and then making out with each other...we even had sex with each other once drunk. Now we don''t discuss this at all sober...we pretend it never happened. But we''re VERY close now, we see each other every day and have sleepovers all the time. She NEVER dates boys but talks about them all the time and it breaks my heart. It''s VERY hard to deal with...but just being with her is worth the sacrifice. Hope my story helps.
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Users who thank LalaCgirl for this post: emogirl97 

replied May 3rd, 2010
Extremely eHealthy
I have two rules when it comes to girlfriends and kissing.

1. If you kiss me, drunk or sober, you are accountable for your actions. If that means that I develop a crush you don't have to reciprocate my feelings but you have to be considerate of my feelings. There's no "Last Sunday morning I was choking on your tongue but now you're bisexual and I can't deal". Adults need to be accountable for how they treat you.
2. I have healthy boundaries dictated by my relationships. I don't get drunk and make out with my friends no matter how attracted I am to them or how amenable they are to it. If I can't behave platonically with a friend I accept that making sexual advances can end the friendship and, where possible, I talk about things before with them before rolling the dice on our friendship.

If things have happen as they tend to do and you find yourself lip-locked with your best friend you're in a trap and honesty is the only way out, even if it costs you the friendship.
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replied June 24th, 2011
My pain
I just need to say to someone .... that I'm madly inlove with my best friend (we're both woman) ... We're both married and she pointed out many times that no way she could be inlove with a girl. My heart is absolutely broken.I cry every time I think of the situation ... We've been very very close (talking on the phone, emailing, texting every day many times) but due to her nervousness (she is a pefect mother, employee, wife ... in a hurry all the time) she decided to cut contacts ... She said she needed time for her self ... peace ... We speak to each other every day but do not share feelings and things that we used to. It seems she chose other things in her life over me and it is killing me inside. A thought that my friendship caused her troubles (her husband was quite jelous) and that now she feels better without it is unbareable. I'd like to be for her (she has quite many issues) but she refuses to involve me. Ofcourse I do not push myself in her life. Everything I can do is to wait for her call ... or send her sms ... rarely not to bother her to much. I miss her so very much. It is the worst situation ever in my life. Not even my children can make me happy though I'm trying to be cheerful. My husband is a good man but I have no physical desire for him anymore. I just pray every day to survive my pain and start living again. Thanks for listening.
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replied July 26th, 2011
Experienced User
Wow, this was exactly my situation just a few months ago. The way I define bisexuality is when you find yourself falling in love with someone of the same sex, truly and deeply, just as you would with someone of the opposite sex. If you feel this way with your best friend, you are probably bisexual. If you two kissed when you were drunk, there's no guarantee that she feels the same way about you, but there could always be a chance.
As I said before, I was in your situation. I was totally and completely in love with my best friend and I kept it hidden for over a year, wondering what her reaction would be like if I told her. I worred about it constantly ( probably too much), but I didnt want to lose her as my friend. I always thought she was straight and I thought she would flee and get freaked out if I told her. But about 2 months ago, I spent the night over her house, and came out with it. She felt the same way about me! I was thrilled; I absolutely couldn't believe what I was hearing.
You never know: Maybe your friend is the same. If you two have kissed before when you ARENT drunk, or given any kinds of romantic hints towards each other, there could be a chance. Tell her. Even if she doesn't feel the same way, she's not a true friend if she leaves you for it. I learned that in the end with my current girlfriend :)Hope this helped and i wish you the best of luck Smile
Lylan
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replied November 5th, 2012
Best friend relationships
Its been three years that me and my bestfriend have been friends, yes three years doesnt sound like much but over them three years we are so close we are like sisters and are able to tell each other everything, about 3 weeks ago i told her i was bisexual and she said she was 2 Very Happy i didnt have feelings for her then but now she is dating another girl i realise that i have strong feelings for her. She means alot to me i dont know what i'd do without her, this is why i dont know if i should tell her or not because i dont know how she will take it. I know she always tells me that whatever happens she will always be my bestfriend and she will always be here for me, but most of them times they are about little things this one is kind of major. Im not very good with telling people my feelings face to face so im thinking about telling her over facebook or writing a letter. Which one do you think is best?
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replied May 23rd, 2013
Look... im 16 years old and im in love and have the same problem... ive always wanted to tell her though but i cant. I feel that she would hate me forever... She is coming over this weekend to sleepover, i may tell her then. Im deeply in love with my best-friend. So yeah i think the best thing to do is to just tell her.

GOOD LUCK ! - Allis :3
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replied June 3rd, 2013
i am in love with my best friend of 4 years (we are both girls). i told her i was bi two years go. she ended contact for almost a year. it killed me cause i didnt even tell her that i loved her. now i tell her i love her evryday and she says it back but thats cause i told her in a very very long convo that i didnt love her like that. im scared she will see the way that i look at her and everything.we spend the night together all the time. i wanna tell her how i feel so bad but i know without a doubt that she is STRAIGHT. i dont wanna live without her but the guys she dates are dicks. hurts me so much. i beat up people over her and she doesnt see it yet. what do i do????
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