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Anxiety And Boyfriend/marriage

I feel so stressed out! Nervous! And sick!....I am so nervous about my current relationship with my boyfriend of 5 years....A long time...I dont know if I will be happy marrying him...I love him sooo much, care about him soooo much and would do anything for him. It is really hard to explain how I feel and to describe the whole scenario. Ive always had anxiety since I can remember and I hate it!...The thing is that I can spend a day/night with him out and feel good but then if I stay with him overnight (sleep at his house)and wake up in the morning next to him, I get upset stomachs, I feel nautious and nervous!....I just feel wrong and dirty and just not complete. I just feel like a mess. And then its hard to get the day started. My energy just drains and I feel slow. And just worried. And I start to think about my future, my job and my family. I guess the feeling comes partly because I feel guilty about being with him as my family does not really like him, and there I am with him. I feel like they must think I am dirty for being with him, although we dont really 'do it'. I just think he is not as mature as I would prefer, I mean he can get into fights if someone really pisses him off and he will say things like 'theyr gonna get it, watch!". And then he will put himself in danger oversomething stupid because his pride is too high!. I hate that! I hate fights! I hate the idea of someone getting hurt. He is very smart though.However, he is also more of a party goer, he drinks, then he passes out alllll night long right beside me and I just dont feel right. Im more serious but like to have a safe and fun time. I dont really get drunk.I hate feeling sick! I like to be healthy and positive and in a clean environment. I dont like to feel like a junkie. And I feel all this when I am with him. But I dont know what is wrong with me. I dont want to lose him either. I really do feel soo close to him and can tell him anything, and I dont think any other guy can take his place. Im sooo confused!...This whole situation brings sooooooo much anxiety to my life like you wont believe!.....We do talk about marriage and future and all...I do say yes...But I dont want that anytime soon because so much uncertainty....So stressed..........
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replied May 29th, 2005
Hey,

its a normal thing to feel upset and nervous no one knows what tomorrow will bring and that scares a lot of people. You can't look 20 years down the road and know that you are still going to be with your boyfriend. Talk to him about his drinking and tell him that it hurts you when he does that. And for your family, if they see that you are happy and that you love him they should support you. Thats all anyone should want for you is to be happy. Don't worry about getting married now, when the time comes - when the question is asked if you need to wait. Tell him that you are not ready. It will come to you what you want to do. When you feel complete then you are ready to make that choice and it will come with time. I wish you the best of luck :)
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