Its only been about a day since I vowed to stop throwing up, but I couldn't do it could i? I hated the feeling of food in my stomach and my mind was racing so I just had to throw up, I need to learn to deal with my feelings or something, but it does feel comforting that I can come here and discuss how it feels and know you understand. I just thought i'd let you know that i'm still going to try, and I will beat this. I promise.
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replied May 23rd, 2005
Re: I Failed Already
Would it make you better if you eat something heathy. I am really in same situation as you but I am trying so hard. For the last 10 years (it's really scary that it has passed so long) I have been struggling with food and keeping it secrete. What I do now is really trying to have food with me to work/school that I have prepared by myself and I know is nice and good for me and will eat it and make sure that I don't throw up! You have to fight this! You are the only one that has to stop this. One thing that has worked for me is sweet potato- I have stopped all my sweet cravings with that. One potato- is one potato and nothing to throw up. Try it. Try to have some nice boiled veggies and some nice nuts. Leave your wallet so you don't get ideas to buy something to binge on. Finnish that one dish and go back to work/school. Try it please.
One step and one meal at the time.
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replied May 23rd, 2005
Never stop trying! I failed a million times before I overcame this disease.
Believe in yourself. :)
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replied June 18th, 2005
Crying My Heart Out For An Escape
I'm in the same situation. Ive been bulimic for 4 years now and ive tried so hard to stop. Ive eaten ridiculously healthily, excersized an hour every day but the minute ive finished eating I can feel it in my stomach sitting there and I get so uncomfortable.
Im so scared that im gonna get black teeth. Im so proud of my teeth. There perfectly straight and fairly white and ive had no work done 2 them, not even a brace, but im terrified that one day they're all gonna rot and go black and fall out.
I want to be happy but I cant be unless I have total control about how much food and keeping inside me.
I worked out that if I was doin weight watchers I would be consumin 2 points a day! I shud b consumin 20 minimum
im so scared right now- I want so badly to overcome it but I cant- im a mess. I havent had a period for 2 years now and the 1 thing I want from life is a family and if I dont overcome this bulimia thats never going to happen. Help...Please!
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replied June 19th, 2005
Experienced User
I'm probably not the best person to help you, as you can probabaly tell by reading my posts, but I can tell you this: I know exactly how you feel, I know your pain and your sense of controll and your fear. I know it helped me to know there were people out there feeling the same as me, and that I could talk to them without being judged. So you can pm me or whatever you want if you wanna talk to someone. Does anyone know about your ed? Its good to have at least one person to speak to, even if its not your best friend or your family, just someone in your life who you feel comfertable with. Maybe your gp or something. Oh you know what helps, I just thought of this, liquid food always feel better in my stomach does than solids and it passes through quicker. I hope you're doing ok! :) xoxo
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replied June 19th, 2005
My family found out last year and I see a phychologist every week but im lying to them all, they all think im better because I did put enough weight on to give the impression I was getting better and also I was only just clawing onto life but ive stll kept myself well underweight but not so underweight that im at any risk of dying. But anyway they're all giving me coping strategies and im mainly seing the psychologist because of my depression.
I went to bed last night thinking I could overcome this but I cant. The only way I can do this is by becoming anorexic again- at least I can stay thin without worrying bout my teeth.
Why is it not working, ive seen 2 doctors, a counciller and now a psychologist and my parents and my friends are so supportive but nothing works and now im just a liar who abuses herself, I shouldve let myself die when I was bones
but thank you for your support, its so nice talking to some1 about it without lying
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replied June 19th, 2005
Experienced User
No, you didn't fail. You tried once & so you are one step closer to overcoming this disease. You only fail if you don't try at all! Thomas alva edison, who invented the lightbulb, spent years trying before he got it right. Keep trying! Every time you allow yourself to feel full, every time you resist the urge to throw up ~ even for a little while ~ you are beating the bulimia.

Meanwhile, you may want to get as much support as possible during this time of change. If you have family or friends who know about this, see if you can talk to them about it & hang around them when you want to purge. My husband was so key to my recovery ~ he never gave up on me & he would tell me over & over again that I wasn't fat, that I deserved to eat, that I was doing the right thing by recovering.

If there is no one like that in your life, then maybe journal about it & also use this forum! Good luck. You can do it!!!!
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