Medical Questions > Relationships > GLBT Relationships Forum

I Dont Wanna Be Gay! (Page 1)

I am a 16 year old male…
here is my story……..
I went on chat that day and I wanted to talk to someone
so I went to a chat room it was a certain countries chat room
so I clicked on some guys name and I was like on view cam
and then….
I saw this guy…. He was so attractive
he was 23 years old: had dark soft hair and his eyes were wide and soo deep
you know when you jump into the ocean and its so very deep under you
and you see a really dark and mysterious blue its so calming it was very
soothing, his eyes were dark and gentle; he had perfect nose and a amazing smile
i got so attached to looking at him…. I tried to not blink so I would not
miss one movement of his face…he had a light beard and masculine shoulders.
The first time he smiled it was like a flower that was closed and your dying to know what the colors in them look like…and then all of a sudden the petals slowly open and a light comes out that brings a rush of butterflies in your stomach  I was about to cry for some odd reason it was like I wanted to grab hold of him but I was caged!!
One of the reasons it was because I was a guy
the second was that if my culture knew these thoughts they would probably kill me
i wanted to talk to him
i wanted to express my feelings
it’s just that I couldn’t
there was a barrier
it was like a wall I want climb over
:(i’m sorry I am being all dramatic
it’s just that I want to take you with me to that very place and time
so I talked to him
i made my self a girl
i started talking to him
he was like
laughing
giggling
it was cutting my apart
the joy was rushing through my blood
i was like where have you been all of my life!
I wanted to be with him
i wanted to see him
i wanted to stare into his eyes and sink
then I was like its never going to happen
no way never
i left him
he was like why the rush
i did
i felt really bad
i was like why am I doing this
this is wrong
you shouldn’t do this a voice said from inside of me :’(
but I don’t want to be gay
i don’t!
I opened a door that I feared all of my life
i wanted to close it
i went into depression
i couldn’t talk to anyone because they would think I was gay!
------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------ -
i still like women
i love women
i love their body structure
i love their personalities how gentle they are!
I have a crush on this girl in school….
I got to go ill continue later thanx for reading…..
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replied September 10th, 2005
Experienced User
1988
Oh hun, don't listen to rat. You are only 16, it is such a confusing time in your life. When I was 16 there were a couple of times I kinda wondered what it would be like to have a crush on one of my girl-friends. Women are beautiful and soft, men are handsome and strong. Both are attractive, but I know I am straight. Don't make any hard and fast decisions about your sexuality this young, I know it seems that it is going to consume you but "this to shall pass". Go ahead and pm me if you like.
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replied September 18th, 2005
There is nothing wrong with being gay. Sometimes you cant control it. You are just born with it. Its stored in a special part of the brain and some are just that way. It is perfectally normal so dont get so upset. Or nething over it. Besides why should you care what other ppl thnk of you right. You are the person that you wanna be. And just be it then.
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replied September 18th, 2005
amanda0101 wrote:
haha ratiman you !**@!, we all hate you.

same here he is so rude and hurtful I think.
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replied September 18th, 2005
Hi

i am straight and was just curious what was wrote in here, but dont listen to that rat. Your very young you have a long life ahead of you just take your time and see what happens

lisa
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replied September 18th, 2005
Listen to Me Bro
Listen, being gay is a normal thing. Dont let people put you down. Be your self, the world is not going to end becouse of you being gay or not.
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replied October 14th, 2005
Re: I Dont Wanna Be Gay!
Awwwwwwwwwwww thats so cute!!!!

You might not wanna be gay or anything but
dont ignore your emotions and feelings.


But you will decide for yourself what to do with em

love,
kitty
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replied October 20th, 2005
Hahaha bueno sweetie, there's really nothing wrong with being gay. In fact, I get ackwardly aroused by it. *tee hee*

but the way you write is just so funny...I never thought a guy could be that mushy. You sound like a girl...Adorable :)
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replied November 3rd, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
Re: ...........
ratiman wrote:
lol! You are so weird and gay I just came to this forum to laugh at gays!

Puke* thats unhuman, how do u live with yourself? You disguist me!

Please stop being gay u frickengaylord that sickens me in every way that is so sicking how do u lie with ur self!?
Go suck his u homosexula werido thats wrong!


you are an !**@!!

And to the 16 year old. I dont think that being gay is a choice. Why would anyone choose a lifestyle when so many people are there to make you feel bad about yourself? Be proud of who you are. God made you te way you are , I dont care what the bible says- it is man-made.
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replied February 28th, 2006
Experienced User
Sorry about the homophobe I am 16 and str8 not that it matters
im not too sure about my sexuality btw but I definately like girls it must have been hard for u sorry and sorry u get people like that at u
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replied February 28th, 2006
Experienced User
Oh yeah.... Its a lot easier to be gay and stuff at college people are more excepting at that age...Sure its going to be hard because of ignorant people. Life will get easier being gay when ur older its not a bad thing and im sorry if it comes across like that cos I dont mean it

be proud to be who u are!!!

Alot of people are anti gay cos there not sure themselves
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replied May 17th, 2006
Experienced User
Love Is Love Is Love...
Consider yourself lucky that you are dealing with all of this at such a young age...

At least you are getting all of this done before you spend years and years dating women or men and wondering what is wrong with you!

I'm not saying you are gay or you are not gay or even bi since we allll have thoughts about the same sex once and a while - it is natural and nothing to be ashamed of!

The best advice I can offer is - do not label yourself! By putting a label on your forehead, you are locking doors that have no reason to be locked!

Gays can like women, lesbians can like men - you can't help who you are attracted to, it is how your brain is hardwired.

I lucked out and started this internal dialogue when I was about 10 years old. I realized that while all my little girlfriends were swooning over popular guys and famous guys I was just indifferent yet when I looked at the women on tv and in adds I got the same feelings that they did looking at guys.

This was back in like 1992, when "gay" and "lesbian" was sheik so at least I had all this info out in the open to help me realize what was going on.

I am 25 years old now and 99% sure that I am a lesbian, but there is that last 1% that pops up now and then. I was with a man for 4 1/2 years and found him quite attractive. I think the guy that hosts the show "ham on the street" is the hottest guy I have ever seen and simply melt when I see the show. But that doesn't stop the fact that 99% of my thoughts are about women.

This is a very complicated and very personal issue. It is no one's business but your own. If you want to come out to the world and say "i'm gay" or "i'm straight" or "i'm bi!" it is up to you but if no one asks then why complicate things by saying one way or another.

I let everyone come to their own determination based on their own personal bias. Most of my family and friends think I am straight while some have the personal insight to realize that I am not. I honestly don't care one way or another what they think about me and since I don't give a damn who they sleep with or masturbate to so I just don't bring the subject up.

I take the same rout for both gay’s and straights – don’t ask, don’t tell.

I am happy for everyone that has found someone to share their lives with no matter who they are so why should anyone hate me for finding someone for me to love?

And that is what it all boils down to – love.

It’s only other people’s intolerance and hate that can spoil things. You are who you are and that is that.

Some day this world will change and all this bu!!S#it will go away but it will take a long time for that to happen – so while we wait why not love yourself and allow yourself to be loved no matter who it is you choose?

I hope that at least some of this helps.
Good luck friend!
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replied July 28th, 2006
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replied July 31st, 2006
Experienced User
Oh My Fooking God...
Yeah... Check those links out... If you want to become even more brainwashed by the bible thumping whack jobs that believe that we should all go back to the days of christ...

Have any of you bible thumpers ever actually read the bible?

Have any of you bible thumpers ever actually looked at history, the people running your little show, or ever done more then belive what you are told by the guy in the funny hat at the podium?

Back in the 70’s the vatican came out publicly and said that though they believe homosexuality to be a sin they do not hate the human, they hate the sin. They went on to say that homosexuals, either gay or lesbian, are not to be excluded from the practice of christian religious beliefs.

How can you preach intolerance and brainwashing when you don't even know your own religion?

There are over thirty (30, three + zero, 10x3, t.H.I.R.T.Y.) books in the true bible.

There is a book of mary that shows that the church's hatred of women is based on the personal bias of the early leaders that wanted to keep all women under their thumb.

Jesus was a practicing orthodox jew who mooched off of widowed women since becoming a widow was the only way for a woman to be a land owner and independently wealthy in their society.

Mary magdolin was not a [tramp]! There are just too many women in that time named mary and a prostitute shows up about two sentences before mary magdolin shows up and bathes jesus’ feet. She leaves and then mary magdolin shows up in the scene.

The "old testament" that is so often referred to and interpreted by christians are the jewish books of the bible!!! So go ahead and hate jews but you are living by their rules if you read the old testament.

Judas was only doing what jesus told him to do and it is proven if you were to actually do your research and stop believing everything your told!

The passion and the stations of the cross were acted out in the middle ages to grow hate for the jews. It was never intended by the original writers of the bible to be the be all, end all of the bible!

The romans killed jesus!

The nostics are heretics because they, as well as over a hundred other variety”s of christians at the time, interpreted the resurrection differently and believed that jesus did not actually, physically, “die” but that when they say resurrect they mean “be reborn into enlightenment”. By this they mean that he reached a peak of knowledge and understanding, both spiritually and intellectually, that caused him to shed his old beliefs like a snake sheds his skin to be reborn in enlightenment.

Because this view meant that not one governing body had control, both monetary as well as mentally, they were denounced as heretics and hunted down by the catholic church.

It because of the christian church that we were thrown back into the dark ages and if it were not for the willing ignorance that the church preaches we would be almost three hundred years more advanced and colonizing mars by now!

The knights templar were not heretics but practiced the most pure of all christian beliefs and ceremonies because they were under the direct control of the pope.

They were brought down because the king of france had a puppet pope installed at the vatican and ordered him to denounce the templar’s because the king wanted their land.

Since the templar’s were under the soul control of the pope himself their land was the property of the church, not the property of france. The king wanted to confiscate their supposed vast wealth and large tracks of land.

The knights were so heavy in france because it was their job to protect the royal blood line. Not the bloodline of the kings of france but the bloodline of jesus. They were the 1 thing standing in front of total control of the vatican. So it worked out for all when the templar’s were bought down.

The knights templar might have been corrupted but name an organization, religion, government, or just really rich person that hasn’t been corrupted by too much wealth and power.

Then there is the corruption of the monks. Back in the time of chaucer and the canterbury tails it was believed that you could pray your butt out of purgatory. Well, the wealthy were too debauch and had too much to do to sit there all day and pray there dirty asses out of hell so they paid monks to do the praying for them. The more the monk’s prayed the more the wealthy paid until the monks became very wealthy and broke their vows of poverty so their prayers didn’t mean as much anymore because they were corrupt.

So, the wealthy would move on and on and on it went until the drunken, homosexual orgies just got to be too much and the true hypocrisy was installed into the church.

The history of you horrible religion just goes on and on and on if you were to actually get off your lazy butt to figure out what you are actually worshiping.

So go ahead and hate all gays. Go ahead and continue to preach hate and brainwashing. Go ahead and keep the blinders on your eyes as you keep doing and believing what others tell you.

But I will tell you the truth… you are a sad, pathetic, myopic little being that will eventually die and realize just how wrong you are…

if the only thing keeping you from being gay, raping, pillaging, murdering, exc. Is a 2000 year old story and a guy in a pointy hat then I can’t even be mad at you… you are just another recipient of my pity.

You don’t need a fairy tale to be a good human being. Being a good person should be the reason that you don’t go out molesting children… oh wait! Those who claim to be the voice of god are the one’s out doing that! My bad!

I pray that you find meaning in your life above and beyond corrupted faith.
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Users who thank AvatarOfUrDreams for this post: ilovelatinclass 

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replied July 31st, 2006
Extremely eHealthy
Way to go avatar....


So true ill quote the bible in a newer standard, god does not judge...


How hard is that if you judge then you are not christian etc....


Anyways my beliefs on being gay follow your heart if you feel it can work out then do it, before I met my husband, I couldnt figure out what was wrong with me and that night I chose him over another girl. To this day I see woman I think they are beautiful men just make me cringe all I think about is woman but hubby is very understanding and so understands that sometimes weird comments will come out of my mouth.


A woman is so much more attractive as to you a man is I say try it out if it doesnt work well at least you have the expierence, I do hang around with alot of the gay community in their case they waited too long. Alot of my friends didnt realize they were gay until being married 5+ years and that kills a family so try to figure it out now like everyone said your still young.


Sorry for my writing in abit of a hurry and not a big grammer freak..



Anyone who has problems with gay people should go f*ck themselves hey if they havent done it they dont know anything..
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replied July 31st, 2006
Experienced User
Thanks.

I was raised christian, even baptized twice, (once as a baby and once after my one aunt died and my family officially made my other aunt my godmother at about 10 or 11 years old.) so I have been in a "christian" family my whole life.

I love research! I love knowledge! I have an almost photographic memory for what I read so when I really started delving into the christian philosophy I came out very disappointed.

Not disappointed in the religion but disappointed in the followers.

None of them are willing to think about how they are truly living their lives and if they are truly following the will of the guy whos religion it is and named after! (well, none of the followers that I have met, I do generalize a lot)

the christianity I see day in and day out is the most retarded thing I have ever seen… american christians don’t even know that they are bad christians because their parents raise them to be close minded, borderline racist, selfish, ignorant people that embrace being led by their noses into spreading the oppoiste message that christ created.

Gays are not evil in the eyes of the christian god. It is a “sin” like any other!

So, for all those christians that bash homo’s, jews, science, exc. Then go out and beat or molest your kid (the stats say 1 out of 4 children are molested in one way or another… so if the christians are the majority in this country then you gotta be doin’ a majority of the molesting!) you are 100000000000x worse then any sodimite! (i love using their words to bash them!)

you are the evil one! You are spreading the wrong message! You are living in a way that would make jesus cry and denounce you for twisting and raping his work and his words!!

I *heart* everyone and judge everyone on an individual basis but that is a hard stance to take when all you christians give back to me is hate and intolerance.

The bible teaches love, it tells you to respect your fellow man, it teaches that god will forgive you your trespasses, it teaches you that all of humanity is your brother… where did that message change to “hate anyone that isn’t exactly like you”?

That message is the basis for 99.999% of all religions across both land and time.

“i hate you because your jewish!”
“i hate you because your black!”
“i hate you because you’re a woman!”
“i hate you because your gay!”
“i hate you because your married to a different race then you!”
“i hate you because you’re a scientist!”

what people??

Come on! How much more retarded can you get??

This is the twenty-first century!

We have passed another temporal milestone yet we are still acting like the animals that wore loin clothes and threw feces at each other!

If you christian’s are right then use the intelligence that god gave to you and let jesus be your shepard in spiritual matters but stop being sheep when it comes to the biased assholes that run your religion!!

They, just like you and every other human on this planet, are full of crap and looking out for #1.

They were traumatized as children just like everyone else and that personal bias taints every action and word no matter how hard they try to stick to the facts.

So open your eyes, shut your mouth, and love your fellow man because they are just trying to find their way through this fooked up, crazy world, just like you are!
(and I meant “love” him as platonic love for you homophobes!)

if you truly follow the practice of “an eye for an eye” what makes you think that you are immune from that little rule?

Kick the crap out of a gay and they should be allowed to do the same to you…

hate jews, or black, or muslims, and stop being surprised when they hate you right back…

karma may be all in the mind but it is the same as the “eye for an eye” rule.

You get back what you give so why not just be a good person to everyone?

Don’t you think that god would be happier if you were to live like that?
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replied August 6th, 2006
Heyy
I agree, being gay is n0rmal.. Why d0 u think gays are allowed to be expressed in the community? Its not illegal.. Its better to be happy then miserable pretending your happy. Most gay guys are the nicest guys!.. Alth0ugh this could be confusion in adolescent time.. All teenagers go through this because its a feeling of wonder and something to expl0re. It could als0 be n0thing but an admiration to how the guy u described in ur message looks after himself such as, the muscles, his smile etc. It takes alot m0re time to conquer if ur actually mentally gay 0r not, so if its only with one guy, then it could just be a fantasy. If it is being gay, dont be afraid, ur better 0f doing what u want and what makes u happy.
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replied August 8th, 2006
I Know Where You're Comming From
I'm 15 and I delt with this issue when I fell in love with my best friend 5 months ago. I wouldn't tell anyone what I was going through because I didn't think anyone would understand.I got into such a depression that I attempted suicide once and I thought about suicide every day. Recently I spent alot of time talking with god and a youth leader and I remembered that god still loves me no matter who I am. He knew who I would become before he put me on this earth and all that matters is that i'm still a christian and that's the only idenity that's going to matter in the after-life.
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replied August 29th, 2006
Experienced User
Ignorance Is Bliss...
Ok, to respond to that highly ignorant statement I must again state that I am a female. I was born with a vagina and will die with one and the only difference between me and any other female you will ever meet is that I do not constrain myself, limit myself, by trying to label myself anything – gay, straight, lesbian, homo, hetero, bi… anything!

The only labels I use to describe myself are:
1. Human
2. Female

that is it. I consider people that label themselves anything else to be sad, close-minded people that need to set boundaries and limitations on themselves to keep from going completely insane… such labels include the above as well as christian, jewish, muslim, atheist, agnostic, american, french, african, (or any combination of african+another word) mexican, cuban, greek, exc. Exc. Exc.

Until we all grow the hell up and see that all labels are as evil as the label of nazi, racist, exc. Then we will continue with the petty bull$#it that is holding our species back and allowing millions to die, be tortured, neglected, and molested because it doesn’t really impinge the little world that we have all built up around us.

Now that that is out of the way…

1. Homosexuality has been historically proven to have been in existence since the very beginning of man kind. From our species earliest writings, drawings, histories, excreta there has been same sex love. It was not until the bigots took over and make it “immoral” because the people in power wanted their followers to breed up as many new followers as they could so that they could get even more power and wealth that it became something to be ashamed of and hidden.

2. Gay sex being thought of as only anal sex is a common misconception among the ignorant because in their closed minds “sex” is only real sex when it involves some form of “one person dominant, one person submissive” penetration.

In all cultures, there are many types of “sex”. Anyone ever heard the term “greek virgin”? In ancient times, a woman had to remain virginal pure and unsullied so men pounded them in the ass… it is a historical fact.

Anal sex has also been on the rise in hetero american culture because people have been misinformed that it is less risky because #1 you can’t knock the chick up and #2. (& I have no idea where this info came from) there is less chance of acquiring an std.

Has no one seen the huge increase in anal fixated porn in the last 5 to 10 years? My generation (i’m 25 years old) is obsessed with anal penetration, meaning a man anally penetrating a woman.

My x-fience (a man) of 5 years tried to talk me into it nearly every time we had sex! I gave in twice because he assured me it was pleasurable for the woman too but I didn’t like it and so I never consented again.

Listen to love line… it is a pandemic in the heterosexual culture, not the homosexual culture.

Only willfully-ignorant people spout the bs about how gay men “only” have anal sex. They primarily have oral sex…just like you… so the next time you ask your girl to give you a blow-job just remember that that is how gay’s like it too! And every time you go down on your girlie remember that that is how all chicks get off and it is another popular misconception that chicks get off through vaginal penetration. 80% of women can’t get off, find the big-o, orgasm, through penile/vaginal penetration alone. A female needs clitoral stimulation but because it is the men that make 99% of the porn you don’t see that and because the christians have taken over teaching sex-ed in schools they don’t tell you that most of the nerve endings in the woman are centered in the clitoris just like most of the nerve endings in the penis are located at the head.

If you refuse to open a single book on human anatomy, refuse to actually open your eyes and see what a different culture then the one you segregate yourself in, then you have no right to comment on anyone else's style of life.

I bet that you also believe that african’s still eat people and that “satanists” are still roaming the streets of america killing cats and eating baby’s as an offering to their “dark lord”.

Willful ignorance is the worst kind of ignorance…

open your eyes and figure it out… the whole world is moving on without you…

listening to you to learn about gay’s is like listening to a priest about how to cure cancer… do you still hate the "mud races" too? Linch a jew lately? Because that is the same type of ignorance that you are spouting here...
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replied August 29th, 2006
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High Five For Avatar
Avatar....Bravo! Very well stated!
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