Medical Questions > Mental Health > Depression Forum

Nonfuctional Human Being

I have been dealing with depression since I was about 10 or 11 years old (i'm turning 28 in a week). I went to a therapist for a while, but had to stop because I couldn't afford it. I have been out of work for almost 9 months and I just can't get up the ?Energy? To start working again. I'm living with my mother. I have dealt with everything from being taken advantage of by older guys when I was very young (starting at 11 years old), to my ex being hit and killed by a semi while hitch hiking, to just recently a miscarriage. I've been cutting since I was about 13, not all the time, but off and on over the years when things get bad. I don't think I would ever try to kill myself because my mother would be the one to find me and I just can't do that to her. But that is about the only thing keeping me from doing it. I can't sleep, I hardly ever leave the house. I do cook dinner every night and clean the house, but that is just to try to make up to my mom for not working. If it was just me here, I don't think I would bother. I don't have anything, and my mom can't afford to help me to get help. Any suggestions?
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replied April 13th, 2005
Experienced User
Hi msdee3 how are you? I hope you're ok. You seem to have gone through so much pain I your life and I am so sorry to hear that. I can't offer you too much advice i'm afraid, i'm a teenager and I have my depression problems but here is a little advice. Cutting helps only temporarily. You feel it is an outlet for pain but it causes more and more problmes and you will end up desperate. Please please don't get yourself into that situation. Your mother needs and loves you. You love yourself too but in the past I know that you seem to feel that everything has turned against you and its hard to believe. One thing that mgith help is writing. Writing cleanses your mind to have everything on paper. Then maybe ytou would like to think about your life now. I know depression isn't one single point that causes it that you could go back and cahnge- various events might have led to it (as in your case). Then imagine what you want for yourself 10 years from now. See what you can change, what you cannot.
If you can't afford to go to a proffessional, how about a friend you can talk to? Some one who cares and who you can confide in? A diary again may help.
Well take care of yourself and if you want you can e-mail me privately (i don't know if you want, i'm only a teen but if you ever need someone to listen i'm there ok) here is a quote I read on one of the other forums on this site "everything will be allright in the end and if it's not allright, its not the end)

ps: i'm sorry to be loading up all this advice. I think you are really brave to at least ask for help. I have never been able to. You are an inspiration to me by asking for help and now maybe I can ask for help too and I want to thank you so much for that. Bye for now and keep me posted on how are doing. :d
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