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My Boyfriend Adimited to Me That He Binge Eats

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Yesterday my boyfriend came home and told me that he has an eating disorder and that he wanted to stop. He said that everyday before he goes to work he would stop at a donut shop and buy a dozen donuts then eat them all in the parking lot. I had no idea whatsoever that he had been doing this. He told me that he's been going to the donut shop everyday for the past 3 months but that before he's binge ate just not on such a regual basis. I can't beilve I didn't know. He'd gained wieght and I couldn't understand it because he was eating just as much as I was when he came home.

He said this was something he never wanted to admit to anyone but yesterday he got pushed over the edge and had to tell me. He ran out of money on his bank card so he asked if he could borrow mine to put gas in his car. So he took out 20 dollars and but then only put in 10 dollars so he could go buy donuts with the rest. He said he felt like he was stealing from me and couldn't deal with it anymore. This morning before he left for work he told me he had the stong urge to go to get food again but promised me he wasn't going to.

I'm not really sure what to do to help him. Should I tell him to leave his wallet at home so he can't buy it? I told him that he should go see a therapist to get help but he told he that he's been to one before a few years ago about his depression and took medication and that it didn't help. So he won't go see anyone about it. He doen't want me to tell any of his family about it because he's sensitve about wieght issues. So i'm alone to deal with this and help him. What should I do?
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replied April 9th, 2005
Experienced User
Oh god, I know how hard it is to talk to someone with an eating disorder. I've never had to, but I have had people talk to me about it. You boyfriend is probably ashamed, frightened, lost and embarrassed especially because of the stereotype that only girls get eating disorders. Not true. Try to help him but don't be angry if he refuses to get help or acts childish. Right now, he needs a friend, someone to listen to, someone who doesn't judge him because of his eating problem, someone who loves him unconditionally. Tell him you will give him that. Be patient, I know what it feels to be in his situation with an eating problem so I know how I want people to talk to me. Just talk for awhile, ask him what he wants to do, what he wants for his life and let him make some decisions. I'm not saying you shouldn't take him to the dr, but like I said, he probably will not want to. If he is willing, that great. Keep me posted and good luck.
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