Im really regreting having an abortion but my parents said they were not going to help and they hate my bf which I have been dating for 3 years now and when me and him found out I was pregnant we got scared so my parents took me to have the abortion now I regret it so bad. Do you guys think I should be trying to get pregnant agian my bf has broke down crying alot and his mom wont even talk to me because she had a kid at 15 and disagrees with abortion. I wish I never would of done it even though im only 18 im like trying to get pregnant now do you guys think this is ok or not please I need advice!!!

Christy
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replied March 6th, 2005
Active User, very eHealthy
Well - I don't think its okay to get pregnant because you want to replace the baby that once was there. I also don't think it was cool of your parents to 'force' you to get an abortion. I don't even think thats legal? Is it? Anyways, I think you should wait until you're ready for sure. Don't just try to replace the baby that you aborted because thats not going to help hun. Good luck, and if you want to send me a note feel free.
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replied March 6th, 2005
Experienced User
I kinda think it might help a lil because a couple of weeks ago I thought I was pregnant and was so happy but then took a test and it said no so I think it might help a little....Maybe well thanks for the advice!!
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replied March 9th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
If you weren't ready to have a baby then, you aren't ready now. What is getting pregnant now going to solve? Yeah, you may get excited about this new baby and whatnot, but the feelings of regret will always come back until you deal with them. It isn't fair to the baby, you or your boyfriend for you to be trying to get pregnant right now.

Your parents couldn't have forced you to get an abortion. They may have talked you into it and I am very, very sorry about that. Have you explained that to your bf's mom?
Your parents should not have done what they did. That is apparent. But, I am sure they were thinking of what they thought was best for you. Getting pregnant again right away, what is that seriously going to do? You really need to stop and think about this.
I understand that you are in a great deal of pain, but getting pregnant now is not the solution. You need to find someone you can talk to, either a counselor or a friend. Anyone. Take the time to heal from this and then figure out what you want.
Don't you want to make sure you are with the person you want to spend the rest of your life with (which you may be, I don't know), get married and then have a baby? No, life doesn't always happen that way, but you still have that choice.

Anyway, this is all just my opinion based on my knowledge and the things I have seen in my life. You can ultimately do whatever you choose, I just don't want to see you make the wrong decision.

Having another baby may make you all happy and to help forget what happened, but it also may make you feel worse. Going through the pregnancy and all of the experiences a new baby brings, may just make you all wonder what the other baby would have been like. You may end up feeling a lot worse instead of a lot better.

But good luck to you in whatever you decide!
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replied March 21st, 2005
Active User, very eHealthy
There is no evidence to suggest that women who try to become pregnant after an abortion out of regret actualy gain anything, I dont know where I read it, but I have many women who do this often return to obtain a second abortion.

I recomend speeking to some post abortive counceling groups.

The national life center 1-800-848-love

will be able to help and suggest some more practical ways of dealing with the regret, other numbers

carenet: 1-800-395-help
birthright: 1-800-550-4900 (24 hour)

britain

contact

"life"

01926 421587

01926 311667

01926 316737


lifeuk.Org

god bless

dont be to hard on yourself
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replied March 22nd, 2005
You poor thing.. Your parents only did what they thought was best for you in their defence, although parents aren't always right.

I was kind of forced into it when I was 19. I ended up over dosing and couldn't handle it, but it got better. I had the rest of my life to live and knew that I couldn't spend the rest of my life in regret. Life is too short.

Babe, you will get over this. Think positively if you can and remember that an amotional cripple such as myself went on to get over it and have 3 boys.

There is no point wondering what could have been, because it will never be. You have to get to a point where you must not look back any more and respect all the good things you should, could and will have going on in your life.

You'll be ok. Take care.Xxx :)
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replied March 23rd, 2005
Experienced User
You guys are right I have pretty much gotten over the fact its in the past and I dont want to be pregnant now so im going on bc pills but my bfs mom is still being a pain but oh well thanks guys.
Christy
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replied March 25th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
It will all work out honey. She is judging you because she got pregnant young and had the baby, but you aren't her and she needs to respect that.
I hope everything works out for you.
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