Medical Questions > Pregnancy Forum > Teen Pregnancy Forum

Do I Want One Now? (Page 1)

Hello, I am only 15 almost 16 and I really really want a baby. I know its crazy but I do. I have had many scares about being pregnant but now they arent even scares. I pretty much raised my sister when I was 13 by myself and so I know I could handle one. Its hard cause my boyfriend also really wants a baby. Am I crazy for wanting one? At times its easy to just forget about it but at times its really hard, its like I get baby fever. Does anyone have any help for me? Thanks alot, melissa
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replied February 1st, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
Trying to get preg hmm.. I would wait being young and a mother isnt easy ! Just ask some teen moms on here just think hard bout it!
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replied February 1st, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
Questions to ask ur self,

are u financially stable? Are u married? Do you live on ur own? If u answered no to any of these questions u probably should not try to have a baby and to be totally honest u should be protecting ur self big time!
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replied February 2nd, 2005
Experienced User
I would really rethink your decision you are young! You deserve to be young and have fun. How old is your boyfriend??? He may say he wants a baby now but its not uncommon for boys to bail when they realize they don't want a baby after all. Can you take care or a baby alone if he changes his mind? Have you ever taken care of a small child? A newborn who cries constantly? Its not fun or a game or something you can play with then put away when you don't want it anymore. You have so much to do why not wait a couple of years then if you want a baby think about it. Just because you think your clocks ticking doesn't mean at the moment you need a baby. This might sound funny but why not get a puppy or something you can baby its a good idea so that you can give your love to something else before crossing the boundary into motherhood. Thats what I did i'm mom but to a chihuahua. Lol. Have fun while you can! Having a baby won't always be fun!
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replied February 2nd, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
Okay, im sick of I raised myself or siblings excuse. It's not the same. This is harsh but go get a dog, they love too.

Sorry im in a bad bad mood. Why? Because I have a 4 y/o who wont stay in bed. My daughter has been in the hospital for 4 weeks now. And this is also stressing my relationship with theeir father. Is this what you want?
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replied February 2nd, 2005
Experienced User
saminsunisma wrote:
okay, im sick of I raised myself or siblings excuse. It's not the same. This is harsh but go get a dog, they love too.

Sorry im in a bad bad mood. Why? Because I have a 4 y/o who wont stay in bed. My daughter has been in the hospital for 4 weeks now. And this is also stressing my relationship with theeir father. Is this what you want?


dianna kicking the crap out of me all night until 5:45 this morning(when I got up), I feel your frustrations to a degree. Hope suni is getting bigger and stronger!

As for the poster, raising a sibiling is easier, you are not finacially responsible for them. Baby-sitting them is much easier. Honestly how many times did you have to run to your parents and say so and so is doing this? Or when they go to the doctors? Or school functions? Its alot harder then you think! Just wait until you are a little older sweetie!
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replied February 2nd, 2005
Active User, very eHealthy
The subject of your post kind of threw me off...
"do I want one now?" one?...No comment on that :roll:

i dont think you should try and "get one" or "have one" just because you "want one" ...Try a puppy or something.

You should pm sacredxbluexeyes (i think thats it) you seem like your in the same situation, kinda?
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replied February 2nd, 2005
Active User, very eHealthy
I didnt intend for my post to be mean. Im not trying to judge you or anything, so dont come to me with that, saying "you dont even know me!"

it just struck me the wrong way...
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replied February 2nd, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
Don't do it..
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replied February 2nd, 2005
Experienced User
Re
"basically raising" a brother or sister isn't the same as having your own. Yeh I know its redundent to say that, but there is a reason we emphasize it so much. It isnt the same.
I was 15 when I got pregnant with my daughter and 16 when I had her. I was married and me and my husband lived together in our own place. I remember some nights when she was a newborn I would be so exhausted I would just hold her and cry and sometimes I felt like a baby myself and just wanted to go home to my mom. Pregnancy isn't a walk in the park, medical bills aren't a joy to sort through, get behind in, and make dents in your (or in your case most likely your parents) bank account. Newborns aren't all cute and cuddly all the time and aren't cherubic little creatures to just show off to your friends. Newborns get bigger, and become toddlers who become children who become teenagers who become adults. My daughter is now 16 months old and I won't lie, some days she makes me want to pull my hair out.
Anyways, don't do it. Wait.
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replied February 2nd, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
Who will pay for insurance for you and the baby? Are you committed to the father, or will he at least help and support you? Do you have a car and a liscense to drive yourself to Dr. Appt's and such? Will you be relying on others to drive you places? Will your mom and dad approve of you having a child? Will you be relying on them for full support?? Who will pay for a crib, car seat, clothes, diapers, etc...? Who will watch the baby when you want to be alone or have other plans? Do you have a job that will support the child? Have you finished high school? How will you finish high school? Do you want to go to college? Do you want to have a carrer? Do you have a house? Do you pay for all of your food and such?
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replied February 3rd, 2005
Raising your sisters or brothers it waaay different. Yeah my two older sisters raised me, with their kids, one at which had her first kid at 16, and my other sister had her first at 21, I was barley 18. I moved out of my house when I was 15 to live with my sisters, because my mother and I didnt get along. It was hard then, I had to get a job, go to school then go home to a house with my sisters and a baby. And at night you wake up to crying at all hours of the night. Dont get me wrong, you will want a baby one day, I didnt plan on gettin preg, when I did, and I wouldnt give my baby girl up for anything in the world. Sorry if I sound like im being mean, but here it is, having and being around babies is hard, sometimes fun, most of the time tiring. You have to have money all the time, diapers, food, fourlma, clothes, Dr. Appt's. And you have to have money for your self too. Dont just take it from me, having a baby at a younge age is hard.
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replied February 3rd, 2005
Active User, very eHealthy
Quote:
i pretty much raised my sister when I was 13 by myself and so I know I could handle one.


oh you did? You bought her clothes, diapers, wipes, formula, baby food, you took her to her doctors appointments? I doubt that.

Ask yourself this... Am I still living with my mom and dad? Do I have a job? Do I have a car to get to and from my appointments?

Your parents took care of you, don't bring a baby into this world that they didn't plan, and they have to take care of.
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replied February 4th, 2005
Thanks everyone for your opinions, some I took pretty offensively but others really made me think. When I said I rasied my sister pretty much by my self all I meant was that I know I could handle one as in knowing how to care for her, and stuff like I didnt mean that I bought everything for her. And yes there are 2 reasons that stop me from goin to get pregnant. That im not out of school yet and that I most likely cant finacially take care of one yet. But I have a question....Could it be that im not fertal yet? Cause I have had many times (by accident, breakage mostly of the condom) that I thought forsurely I would be pregnant. Thanks alot for everyones help
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replied February 4th, 2005
Thanks everyone for your opinions, some I took pretty offensively but others really made me think. When I said I rasied my sister pretty much by my self all I meant was that I know I could handle one as in knowing how to care for her, and stuff like I didnt mean that I bought everything for her. And yes there are 2 reasons that stop me from goin to get pregnant. That im not out of school yet and that I most likely cant finacially take care of one yet. But I have a question....Could it be that im not fertal yet? Cause I have had many times (by accident, breakage mostly of the condom) that I thought forsurely I would be pregnant. Thanks alot for everyones help
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replied February 4th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
ducky wrote:
thanks everyone for your opinions, some I took pretty offensively but others really made me think. When I said I rasied my sister pretty much by my self all I meant was that I know I could handle one as in knowing how to care for her, and stuff like I didnt mean that I bought everything for her. And yes there are 2 reasons that stop me from goin to get pregnant. That im not out of school yet and that I most likely cant finacially take care of one yet. But I have a question....Could it be that im not fertal yet? Cause I have had many times (by accident, breakage mostly of the condom) that I thought forsurely I would be pregnant. Thanks alot for everyones help


no, I highly doubt your infertile.
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replied February 4th, 2005
Experienced User
I don't think that you are infertile. So I wouldn't worry to much about that. I am telling you just like everybody else. No I don't have kids yet but I got plenty of niece and newphs. I am not saying that it is the same as raiseing a baby. But I know how to change a daiper, fix a bottle and put clothes on a baby. So basically I know how to care for a baby. But I knew to wait until I was ready to have baby before I started trying for one. And I also waited until I got married before I started trying to have a baby. No it didn't stop me from having sex. But I waited for that until I knew I was ready. So make sure that you are completely ready to have a baby.
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replied February 5th, 2005
Active User, very eHealthy
Sorry if you took my post offensively... :(:(:(

look, I had unprotected sex for what... 3 years, and I never got pregnant, because I thought "i couldent" (pretty stupid) it took a long time, but guess what? I did... Dont you ever watch maury? Some young girls get pregnant on there first time, and some married couples try for years, its sad. So dont think you cant, cause when your least expecting it, it will happen.
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replied February 7th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
Okay your gunna get offended by this one too...

This is a child not a puppy! Yeah you can handle babysitting your sister and looking after her for you mom... But you probably have no clue what it takes to raise a child 24/7... I mean canyou even drive yet? Your what a sophmore in highschool... When I was a sophmore I thought I was the crap that I knew everything looking back on how much ive grown up in just the past 2-3 years alone is insane... Do you work? Could you even work? I know in cali you have to be atleast 16, when most places wont even hire you till 18... Being pregnant alone is expensive, the insurance, the doc appts, the baby products... Your still a child you dont need to have a child... I know there are woman/girls who have had babies while they were young and have succeeded in doing an awesome job at raising them... But trust me ask any of them it was !**@! hard!... Finish school, grow up, fall in love get married, then have a baby... Take your time hun... And trust me even if you did get pregnant its not like you have a baby the next day its a whole other road from there... A baby changes everything... A child and baby doesnt stay a baby... Are you ready to be a parent? You think your bf will be there for you... Look up the averages on how many young fathers stay with the mothers... Think of whatyour parents would say... Give yourself a chance hun... I mean watch day time talk shows for heavens sake look at all the paternity testing going on there... Think of it your young and I know the rumors alone would kill you... Too many young mothers give up on their children and their are too many unwanted babies in this world... Please please take your time and know it is just a phase
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replied February 7th, 2005
Experienced User
Think long and hard about it. You can't make sure the father will always be with you b/c you are a teens. I know I am 17 years old. The father is gone and now I have a baby on the way that I will have to take care of. You have your whole life to have kids. Atleast wait til after highschool I have quite a few friends who have gotten pregnant and had kids. They all have beautiful babies but if it wasn't an accident their kids wouldn't be here. I am happy about the fact I have a little girl on the way but don't trap yourself b/c you think it is a good decision now. Also if you have to ask us if it the right decision it probably isn't a good idea.
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