Medical Questions > Mental Health > Bipolar Disorder Forum

Bi-polar And Relationships

Hello everyone. I am new here and desperately need help right now.

I'm 20 years old and was born hiv+, was orphaned by aids by the age of ten, and was just recently dianosed with bipolar disorder. I've been having a really hard time for the last few months and just a few days ago my whole world caved in.

My boyfriend and I were together for 2 years and I love him deeply. Well, one night I was doing really bad and was very suicidal. I was on the phone talking with him trying to feel better and he just didn't understand. I was in such a bad state of mind that I broke up with him. Really stupid I know.

Well, I wised up of course and tried to call him for two days and he wouldn't return my calls. Finally he called me and said that he couldn't do this anymore. That he couldn't handle a relationship. I know it's because i'm so hard to deal with. Hell, I hate myself a lot of the time, I can't expect him to want to be there.

But anyway, I have been devestated ever since. I've cut myself multiple times and I can't stop crying. I understand and respect what he wants because I just want him to be happy, but I know I ruined things and I just can't handle it. I don't know how to deal with these emotions. I just want us to be back together and for me to get healthy.

I know if he'd give me a chance I can get better and we can do wonderfully together. I just had my first therapy session last thursday and i'm really trying to get my life together. Not just because I need to do it for my own sanity, but because I love him and I want to be with him and happy.

I just wish he'd give me a chance to get better. I feel like if he's stayed with me through these last two years (which have been the hardest of my life) I don't understand why he'd leave now when i'm trying to get better...

Anyway, my questions are, how do I deal with the heartbreak? And how do I fix this relationship? I know I can't force him into anything, but I just want him to believe that I can get through this and learn to live with this disorder.

Any advice is extremely appreciated. Thank you.
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replied February 24th, 2005
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Hey I know exactly how your feeling. I have a question for you? Were you diagnosed by a psychiatrist and put on medication? Because before I started taking zoloft I was sad all the time. I mean I would cry for no reason then like 5 minutes later I would be happy again. It's really wierd, but once they put me on medicine I started getting better and now that never happens. I am just happy all the time! You should ask your doctor about it because it might help you alot. Also, I had trouble in relationships too before I was on medication, even before I was properly diagnosed. My boyfriend broke up with me because I got upset too easily and I cried too much and iwanted him to be there for me. And he wasnt so it made things alot worse. It took me along time to get over it but I am now and i'm happier than ever. Maybe you should try to talk to him and tell him whats going on and whats wrong with you. If he really cares he will listen and he will understand. And if he doesnt then he's just not worth it! Well I hope I helped you a little and let me know how things go ok? :d I hope you feel better

~*brooklyn*~ :lol:
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replied February 24th, 2005
Good Life For All
Hey roxie, i've read your letter and I wouldn't like to be in your shoes... However, I think you should think in what are you doing here, I mean, what do you live for?, do you want to be happy?... I know it's hard, but believe me, you have to find into yourself that answers 'cause you can take all the medication of the world but if you don't answer that, you're lost.

Love yourself (yeah, I know, I should hear my words) and find that you're the most important thing in this world, take care of you.

Regards
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