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help someone depression

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I have searched many sites for a solution but have found none, so i'm going to give this a stab. My situation is, I am with someone that believes she has depression. I'm unsure if she has it but it has come to a point where it has affected her badly.

Her family history is rather awful with divorced parents and I feel that her depression is rooted from her mom leaving. She's not doing anything at the moment. She stopped going to college and left her part time job. She has told me that she wants to study or work but she cannot find any motivation to.

I'm at my wit's end on how to help. I am very far away, in fact continents away and see her maybe once or twice a year. I do call daily and talk to her for hours each day. Her mood also flunctuates and I feel rather hopeless. I've advised her to go out more or look for something she enjoys but still, she's stagnant.

I doubt she'd go for therapy or psychiatric help. I doubt she'd go for any kind of help. What I wish to know is, is there any way for me to help from afar? Or perhaps an approach I can take with her. I do not want to push her too much nor do I want to be too lenient. Sometimes I just wish she'd wake up and realise that she is capable of alot. I'm so stressed and do not know what to do. Any kind of help would be appreciated. Thanks.

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replied October 8th, 2003
Always Be There For Her
Dear isaac,

your partner is an extremely lucky lady to have someone like you in her life. Very few partners of people with depression are this understanding.

There is only two things I can think of to say to you, firstly be there for her and show her how much you love her as much as you can. There would probably come some times when you’ll become very frustrated with the situation, but don’t let it get to you and don’t take it personal.
Secondly, no one can help someone who won’t help themselves first. She has to make the decision to seek help you can perhaps encourage her (many types of depression is chemical and can be solved with medication).

My very best wishes to you and I hope it all works out.

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