I'm a girl and me and my girlfriend lisa have been seeing eachother for about 10 months. My family have always disapproved, and my dad really dislikes her and won't speak to me if I have been with her during the day.

I am very much in love with her and probably want to spend the rest of my life with her as partially live with her (at the weekends), but now she has started to talk about wanting a baby. She feels like it is time for her to settle down with children - and I don't want to lose her so I told her to adopt so that we could bring the baby up as our own, but she isn't eligible and so wants to be inseminated.

I don't know how I feel about this, as she is considering sleeping with our male friend whilst ovulating to have a natural pregnancy. I am worried that she will enjoy it too much and not want to be with me anymore, or that the father will demand rights to the child. She is adament that she wants this to go ahead, and I feel like I should go along with it because I don't want to push her away.

I could really do with some advice. Embarassed I also think I am too young to have a baby.
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replied May 17th, 2004
Experienced User
How old are you? And how old is she?
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replied May 17th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
Well if you are both ready to settle down then I would recommend adoption. Why is she not eligible?
As for insemination, it is best to get it medically performed. No matter how much she thinks she can trust a man, he could come back and want the baby.
But if she would leave you for a man then it was not meant to be in the first place.
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replied May 19th, 2004
I'm not ready to settle down with a baby although I am/was ready to settle down with her. I am only 17 and she is nearing 24 (some people think that is weird) Embarassed

i found out today that she lied to me a lot. She told me that she had looked into adoption and been refused, but today I found out that actually she'd just assumed because she was not in a heterosexual relationship that she couldn't have a baby. Is that right?

Then I also found out that she has already decided on sleeping with our male friend, and even more to my horror - they're already trying.

Sad Crying or Very sad I feel hurt that she never told me about this (i was on holiday when she made her 'decision') and I feel very betrayed, and think this is probably going to be the end of us... I'm very much in love with her, and I doubt i'll get support from my family because they've always wanted my relationship to end... Crying or Very sad
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replied May 23rd, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
Wow im sorry but ifeel like u can do better! Your 17,she should be understanding of that if she is understanding of you and supporitive! And the fact that shes already been trying.. Well obvviously she is not trustworthy. Do you want to spend your life with someone who already lies to you? Especially about something so important! I iknow its hard.. But I hope u can get out. Seems like shes trying to suck you into something you dont feel ready for, and she just cares about herself..
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replied May 25th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
Easier said then done, but let her go.
She could get a child even though she is homosexual, but it is harder, I think.
Her "already trying" is cheating.
You can do better. Plus, you have your whole life ahead of you. You need to settle down with a person first and have your happy, alone time before bringing a child into it.
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