So I've actually met a couple girls that I had somethings in common with, of course never dating lack of experience not on the list. So heres the thing I think I know what I want in a girl and I have I thought found it like 4 times now. I mean my most recent failure is probably a good example she had some issues in her past majors ones actually. But what really attracted me to her was that despite this past and including current issues that were medical related. She was still so confident, together I mean knowing what I knew about her and just how well she was handling it all to the point where had she not said anything I never would have known. It seemed like we were doing OK despite me making some mistakes like not putting my arm around her on our first date. Which she told me about but we talked it out and then got together a second time, we ended up at her place watching TV talking I had my hands all over her but didn't make any moves which I thought was the way I should be just more or less holding each other kind of deal. To further compound the whole mess our second date she first blew off some other guy to see me, then told off her boss when they tried to make her work late. We would talk for hours back and forth about everything and anything. But then Saturday she tells me she just wants to be friends and she is going to see this other guy seriously. I mean did I miss my one opportunity for sex but what really worries me is now 4 times I meet someone I think connect with get along with and the whole thing falls apart and I end up feeling like crap. Is it that I need to find someone incompatible in order to have any sort of relationship and/or sex with I mean its like its going to happen soon cause there is another girl that I have been talking too and every time I end up finding something that she likes that I also like. We went out once but things came apart not either of our faults. We went to see a movie got there only one other couple was there talking like us till for some reason an usher shushed us. We both agreed that we had a fairly good conversation going till it was abruptly ended, I am going to see her again Friday at a bar so shouldn't have to deal with any shushing. But I am worried that I will again start to have feelings for this girl and when I do thats when like 4 times prior now she will say no its bothering me, I mean is this my lack of experience, cause if it is how am I going to get through this. I feel like I am just setting myself up for pain and failure I mean for christ sake I even started drinking never did before this but its like I just don't have the energy to deal with the pain anymore. I know people say it will just happen but if thats true then why I am in this predicament at 28 in the first place. What sucks even more is that I will be 29 in April which just makes me think what the hell I am doing is this all a huge waste of time why live like this missing everything that everyone else has done not to mention the fact that I was also reading that not having sex early in life leads to problems later. I have noticed that things have changed with me in the last couple years. Making me wonder what experience I have really missed out on and why the hell I did miss out in the first place.
Did you find this post helpful?
|

replied February 18th, 2008
Re: The saga continues..
Hiddy ho Smile

Alright, 1st off- you need to take a pill and clam down! There is no "time-frame" on love/dating-- and whoever told you that "it will just happen" is right Smile

Now since you've taken your pill-- it sounds like you need to just be yourself, and whatever happens on the date happens. Sex should be the LAST thing on your mind- and getting to know the girl should be the 1st. See if you're compatible, or if she's a wackjob, loser, etc. Once you've gone on a couple dates (sometimes you'll find out in the first 5 min) really make sure to observe her. You just don't wanna be throwing it out there to just anyone, and your time is valueable.

Being negative isn't going to make it any easier either-- I'm not saying to be Oprah, but some sunshine won't kill you either. Start doing things you want to do.. join a gym, or take a class at a local college. Doing something you enjoy, sometimes, all you have to do is look around while you are doing it, and who knows- you could find yourself a lil' hottie!

Good luck- TAKE IT SLOW- and Have fun.

Yettie
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied March 26th, 2008
Something else has occured to me
I think I have met someone who is actually really cool and we have many things in common. I would say that she might be excellent relationship material but she has had like 5 of them. I have had none I don't know what I am doing and as bad as that is I really don't like the fact that cause she knows what to do and I don't its like I won't be able to have any fun really figuring this out. Like if I was still in high school then I more then likely would have been someones first relationship and they mine so we could both learn together and have fun doing it. But its like I missed out and that and can't get that opportunity back and that depresses me even more cause how can I enjoy any of this. Whats even more bothersome is when she tells me about her past just little bits it bothers me, but shouldn't cause I should have something similar to relate to her with. But don't and am in fact embarrassed anytime that very subject comes up. I mean its at a point where if I had done something with dating and women prior to meeting her then things would be absolutely perfect, in the 4 dates I have had with her that and talking to her almost everyday I am throughly convinced of this fact. I almost want to find some other girls to have sex with just to catch up to her before we even get to that step hoping that maybe then we will be on the same level. Its really the only issue I have with her and it shouldn't even be an issue. Its becoming quite depressing when it should be exactly the opposite and its seems like anyone I meet just makes me regret even more the decisions or screw ups I have made. I am really starting to doubt that I can get over this and fix this problem. Not even sure why I am even trying thinking that the sooner its all over the better.
|
Did you find this post helpful?