my father hates me. we fight constantly. why.no clue
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replied February 21st, 2008
well. You should try to talk to him more. Spend more time with him. See if you could find a time to talk to him about this problem. If he doesn't understand, maybe another adult could help u.

Is this bothering u a lot?
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replied February 21st, 2008
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How old are you?? That often makes a big difference in how we relate to each other.
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replied February 22nd, 2008
i am sixteen and yes it bothers me all the time. if i try to talk to him it just starts a fight over the whole situation. i try not to talk to him unless i absolutely have to. i'm sick of the constant fighting and i dont think he is going to tey and improve our relationship.
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replied February 22nd, 2008
Experienced User
Hope I can help you out as I lived through my 16th year and raise 3 teens: Does Dad work? Is he overworked? He may have worries he doesn't want you to know about and that could be coming out in disagreements. i.e. financial Can you catch Dad in a good mood and talk about something that isn't emotional? The weather, his favorite team, driver or hobby. When the talk goes well be sure to tell Dad that you appreciate having the talk with him in an adult manner. He'll appreciate it. He'll appreciate your compliment. Compliment for something, no matter how small. He'll notice, even if he doesn't say so. Try to find something good to say every day.

Are your emotions let loose when you talk? It sounds like you've argued so long that you're in an offensive position where you subconsciously send out vibes indicating you're ready to go at it. How's your tone? Try not to yell unless the house is on fire. Try not to whine - to me it was like fingernails on the chalkboard! Same with eye rolling, when I saw eyes roll I always wanted to say, I'm not as dumb as you think. (But it wouldn't have mattered because the kids would have thought, yes you are.) When dealing with your Dad operate on the assumption that you don't know it all and he probably does knows more than you. (He knows more by seniority if nothing else. He's simply been around longer than you and has picked up a thing or two.)

Let me know what you think.
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replied February 27th, 2008
my dad doesnt work due to heart problems. he's had 7 heart surgeries. i give him compliments he just doesnt accept them. i try to be nice and act civil but nothing helps.
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replied February 27th, 2008
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He may be depressed. Depression can make people behave in odd ways. If you've tried to open conversations and he's not responding the best thing to do may be to be civilized and polite and let the rest go for now. It sounds like you want to be closer to your dad but he's not able to give that to you right now. It doesn't reflect on you in any way no matter what his reasoning is. His noncommunication is his problem. He's the one who's missing out on quality time with you.
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replied February 27th, 2008
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I agree
I have to agree with bakin_April....your father is a sad man........he may not even realize he is sounds so hateful to you. It sounds as though he has almost given up, so he is has turned bitter, and in turn takes it out on hte ones he loves, or whomever is within ear shot. Jacklynn, I lost my father 2 years ago.....I remember very well beging 16 and there were times I DID NOT get along wit my Dad. For te last 1 1/2 of my fathers life, I was not allowed any contact with him. My two brothers and I were 'alienated" by a new wife. Dad was eat up with cancer and form the chemo and medications, the last time I saw him he was in fetal position and incoherent. Like the others here have said here, be good/kind to your Dad....and do not take any offense in his actions. When you do not have him anymore, you can at least say Hey,.....I tried....I really tried and I was a good daughter....this I had to learn the hard way. Just wanted to let you know before it was too late for you. Just try to remind yourself he is your Dad. You are a good daughter......its not your fault....you at least tried!
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replied February 29th, 2008
thanks.my dad probably will never understand. tho...
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replied March 6th, 2008
similar situation
My dad has had several heart surgeries too and he has had a stroke, currently has diabetes, and several other problems. We have a hard time getting along and sometimes saying nothing for a while can help. that way when we do talk there is so much more to say. Try this: Find something that both of you enjoy doing. then go and do whatever activity it is; while you are there talk to him and see what you can do to make your relationship better and stronger. i can't assure you that this will work but it is better than losing your father because you didn't get along when you were a teenager.
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replied March 10th, 2008
thanks... but i figured out if i dont talk its alot easier on both of us. he wont do any thing with me.. how ca i fix that..?????????????
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