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bipolar affecting relationship

We have been together for a little over a year and he has got distant towards me 2 months into our relationship, then he was perfect for another 4months and got distant on me for about 2 weeks, and then after that 2nd time he was better than ever and he honestly is an amazing guy. So the 2nd time he went distant was june "2007" and things with us have never been better until around thanksgiving when he went wierd again. i was kind of used to the feeling since it happened 2times before but what hurt me was i wasn't sure if he went distant this time or has decided he truly doesnt want me anymore, only because things were great for a longer period of time and also longer into our relationship. He does take steroids and it may have effected him alot this time. But my main question is he calls me and texts here and there. and the other day when he was over he didn't really want to hug me he said he had to go to the gym. but yesterday he came over and hugged me without letting me go and told me he loved me and started crying saying he loves me but doesn't know if he wants to be with me because sometimes he misses me and other times he doesnt? I need help it hurts me cause i dont know "Why" and with his bipolar he doesnt even know why.. He also rarely talks on phone and doesnt call me at night n e more.
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First Helper TomHolly
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replied January 17th, 2008
Experienced User
i think the bipolar has a lot to do with it. he may need a med adjustment. will he see his doc soon?
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replied July 8th, 2011
Experienced User
My bf missed me teribly in January, wrote dozens of emails saying how much he missed me, he wanted me back(i was away on hols), he couldnt wait, he booked a hotel for us, he wanted to get me at the airport, he said we couldnt really be apart and he was eagerly waiting for me. Barely five months later, he became cold and distant, never said he misses me anymore, broke the relationship without real reason (was sad when he did it), hardly communicates with me, says we are only friends, and I think he is seeing someone else.
To my mind, normal people do not fall out of love that quick without a good reason, normal people do not just ditch a girlfriend who is loving, caring, sexy, friend, supportive, etc. He just dumped me without reason.
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replied July 8th, 2011
This is all too common when dealing with Bipolar. There is no understanding the how's, whys, etc. The person performing the behavior doesn't understand so how can we understabnd it if they don't? All you can do is to be there for him as a strong pillar, loving and caring. This is what it's all about when dealing with someone who has Bipolar. Hopefully he'll seek treatment, if he already hasn't which may easy the situation a little.
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replied July 8th, 2011
Experienced User
I know, but it is hard to understand and to come to terms with endings that didnt need to happen. Im sick and tired of him finishing with me, coming back, behaving odd, disappearing for weeks and just reappearing to fetch me at some place in town, not knowing if he is going to move with me or not, deciding to move in and when Im buying things for us, deciding not, later saying he IS going to move in after all, but saying he needs a separated bed !!!!!, behaving like an alien is in his body, and when I give up and start to think about moving on, there he comes, normal, happy, himself, so masculine, so charming, phoning me again, laughing, wanting to be with me, and I fall for it all again.
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replied July 8th, 2011
As a previuos poster said in a previous post; I believe it's the character of the person your involved with. Bipolar can and does alter ones thnking however that doesn't provide a blanket of protection for treating people badly. many of the posts I have read consist of people being treated badly. I was myself but chose to leave the situation because the person would not change in her thinking. IMO leaving should be the last resort in any realtionship regardless of the circumstances.
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