Medical Questions > Pregnancy Forum > Teen Pregnancy Forum

Why Did You/do You Want a Baby?

I would really love some honest answers here, a lot of people claim their pregnancies weren't planned but I doubt the percentage of contraception failures is as high as it seems!

I was not a teenage mother but I wasn't prepared for pregnancy. My fiance and I just got lax with the condom use, knowing full well what the risk was, and our son was the result. We were living in a poky flat and had lots of debt but my hormones had made me so broody and his hormones made him so horny that we just let Nature do her thing! It was a life-changing thing but I have no regrets. I was 24 years old and had been with my fiance for 4 and a half years so we were committed. We got married when I was 16 weeks pregnant and are still happy, living in a house now and still with some debt but we're getting there!

My mother was 13 years old when she began having sex and 16 when she fell pregnant to my father. Just to clarify, my father did not sleep with her until she was 16 Wink She wanted a baby because she had a terrible childhood and wanted someone to love and to be loved by. Her father had left them and her mother was in and out of mental institutions. She was bullied at school and left at age 12. She was bulimic from age 10. She says that getting pregnant saved her life. Having my brother gave her the family she craved and she poured all her love and energy into raising him (she did a fantastic job, he's a fine young man now). She says she'd have probably become a drug addict or an alcoholic if she'd not become a mother.

So, there are my stories; two very different ones.

What's your story? Do you regret your choice? Do you wish you'd waited to have a baby or, like my mother, do you feel having a child was the making of you?

All the gritty details please...
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replied January 4th, 2008
Experienced User
I havent yet had my child yet and I am now almost 12 weeks pregnant with our first child. I never really wanted kids when I was really young. But when I was 13 my very best friend's dad and step mom had a child. Her dad was arrested and put in jail for several months before the baby was born. About 3 weeks after she had their son her stepmom was also arrested and put in jail. Her and her month old little brother came to live with me while her parents were in jail. I became very attached to that little boy. Everyone would ask if I was his mom when we took him out in public. Shortly before he turned two years old, his dad got out of jail so they both moved out and back in with her dad. The little boy will be 6 years old in April and I havent seen him for at least three years. He is the very reason why I changed my mind about having kids.

The first time I was ever intimate with anyone I was 17 years old and had just graduated from high school. I told him many times over exactly how much I wanted kids. Yet I took my birth control religiously til we both felt like we were ready. I married him in October of 2007 and stopped taking my birth control about two weeks before that. Shortly after thanksgiving is when we found out we are having our first child.


But thats my story.
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replied January 4th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
Re: Why Did You/do You Want a Baby?stories Please!
Jules wrote:
I would really love some honest answers here, a lot of people claim their pregnancies weren't planned but I doubt the percentage of contraception failures is as high as it seems!.


I feel the exact same way. The question I wished you had asked, though,(and maybe we can tack this question on to yours) is, if you get pregnant by accident, why do you choose to keep the baby instead of opting for abortion or adoption?
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replied January 4th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
browngirl wrote:
I havent yet had my child yet and I am now almost 12 weeks pregnant with our first child. I never really wanted kids when I was really young. But when I was 13 my very best friend's dad and step mom had a child. Her dad was arrested and put in jail for several months before the baby was born. About 3 weeks after she had their son her stepmom was also arrested and put in jail. Her and her month old little brother came to live with me while her parents were in jail. I became very attached to that little boy. Everyone would ask if I was his mom when we took him out in public. .


People asked if a 13 year old was his mother? Or did I misunderstand?
browngirl wrote:


But thats my story.


And it's a great story. The question is, why were you able to wait until you were married and others don't?
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replied January 4th, 2008
Experienced User
futureshock wrote:
browngirl wrote:
I havent yet had my child yet and I am now almost 12 weeks pregnant with our first child. I never really wanted kids when I was really young. But when I was 13 my very best friend's dad and step mom had a child. Her dad was arrested and put in jail for several months before the baby was born. About 3 weeks after she had their son her stepmom was also arrested and put in jail. Her and her month old little brother came to live with me while her parents were in jail. I became very attached to that little boy. Everyone would ask if I was his mom when we took him out in public. .


People asked if a 13 year old was his mother? Or did I misunderstand?
browngirl wrote:


But thats my story.


And it's a great story. The question is, why were you able to wait until you were married and others don't?



Yes. They didnt know that I was thirteen at the time. I have always looked older than I actually am.
As far as why I was able to wait. I knew that we both had to want it and that just because it would be his kid that doesnt mean that he would stay with me. We are in a much better place emotionally and financially than we were before. It was almost two years ago when we first met each other and we have came very far in our relationship since then.
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replied January 4th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
what a great post this is!! i love your story
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replied January 4th, 2008
Experienced User
I can cetainly say my first pregnancy was in no way shape or form planned. I spent most of my teen years saying I hated kids and never wanted them. Having kids were the furtherest thing from my mind even when I did become pregnant. I was on the depo shot when I became pregnant the first time. I was one of those that thought as long as I was on birth control you didn't get pregnant. It didn't matter if you used a condom (boy was I wrong). So yeah I became pregnant. I did not even know I was pregnant until I was 4 months along.

Yes my last 3 kids were planned with my husband.
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replied January 4th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
I've always wanted kids. In the past year, 4 people have had a baby (all girls ironically) and the pressure just kinda built in me. I got together with my fiancee in September 2006, turned 18 in May 2007, and got pregnant in July. It was ALL my fault that I got pregnant, and he doesn't let anyone forget that, lol. We've ALWAYS talked about marriage, but since I was 17 up until May, we really didn't get anything for it. So as soon as my papers come in (HOPEFULLY within a month) we are getting married. I'll probably be 8 months pregnant by then, but we want to be married before the baby comes. He also has a 9yr old son who is actually starting to like me, and I really wanted to give him a sibling before he got too old.
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replied January 4th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
I'm one of the honest ones XD the pill and the condom failed.

I chose to keep my daughter because

1) I couldn't get an abortion when I was financially and mentally able to care for her

2) I couldn't give her up for adoption and not know if she was being cared for, or if I had put her in some kind of hell, especially when, like I said, I could care for her on my own.
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replied January 4th, 2008
Especially eHealthy
i wish i could provide all the gritty details but ive got a baby in one hand that will no sleep LOL

do i regret anything: no
do i wish i could have waited: nope
i love my life and i love my daughter life definately changes ALOT when you have a baby. your entire not only life changes but your mood, your feelings towards everything,your maturity level. yuve gotta all of a sudden grow up in a few days to be able to provide for your child. your not a kid anymore. yoour an adult.
i still do everything i normally do
i hang out with friends, i go shopping and i also take care of a baby 24/7. i also still take care of my dogs. its ALOT of work. thank god i have help and support from travis or i dont know WHAT i would do. and a newborn is the EASIOEST part. when they eat sleep and poop. as they grow up it gets harder. my pregnancy was NOT avoided. i was NOT on BC. we did NOT use condoms. we knew it would happen and we still did what we did. i dont blame anyone for anything. it was up to me and travis we did what we did and after 7 months of it i got pregnant
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replied January 26th, 2008
I'm not a mother or pregnant but I do want a baby. I'm 17 years old. I don't plan on havin a child right now but I so want one in the next two years. For me it's not so much that I want someone to love me. It's more that I want to give that love to someone and I love children. I've always wanted to have children young. I feel that having your child young allows you to be closer to them. The only reason why I'm waiting now is because I want to finish school first and want to make sure that I am financially ready to support my child as well as emotionally. I do know other teen moms. I have a friend who is 25 and she had her first child when she was 15. she now has 3 children and is very happy and very successful. I look up to her and she gave me hope that I could do the same thing she did. I know some people will criticize me and think I'm stupid and I don't know what I'm gettin myself into but believe me I do which is why I'm not trying to conceive right now.
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