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I really need advice on what to do! Brayden is 10 1/2 months and does not sleep through the night. He usually wakes once or twice and falls right back to sleep after I give him his pacifier but then by the third time he wakes he will not go back to sleep unless I bring him to bed with me. I really want to stop this habit but I don't know how! Also getting him down for bed in the evenings is a challenge in its self. Brayden fights going to sleep and sometimes is up til 10 or 11 which I think is entirely to late for a baby..heck its too late for me!!

So I really need ideas on how to get him into a better sleeping pattern. I mean this can't be normal for a baby can it? I have tried to put him down at 8pm and let him cry it out but he cries so hard that he starts coughing and sometimes its as if he is crying soo hard that nothing comes out and then i usually end up giving in. Is it ok to let him cry that hard?

Ok sorry I won't ramble anymore..I gotta get back to work! But any ideas and advice would be helpful!
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replied January 3rd, 2008
Especially eHealthy
I don;t really have anything to say as Logan is 2 and still wakes up Sad
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replied January 3rd, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
I read the book, The SleepEasy Solution and used the technique. I HIGHLY recommend it. It sounds like you two can benefit tremendously from this book!!!

It saved my life!!
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replied January 4th, 2008
Active User, very eHealthy
hey hun. my son who is now 16 months, I had him sleeping through the night just after 6 months. I think it's all up to the parent to be honest...It's hard tho! But Landon was just waking up in the middle of the night just to see if i was there. because after like 6months they don't need bottle or anything in the middle of the night. I let him "cry it out" and yah ..he cried hard like that too.But it only took two nights. You'll know if your baby "needs you" if he's gunna throw up he's crying so hard you know! But it took my guy two nights of some heavy 20 min crying and after that.....he has been sleeping 8-8 ever since. no crying, no nothing. even if he's wide awake he goes to bed at 8, and haven't had a problem since. same with his naps. 1230 is nap time. it does work, you just gotta stick to it. i know it's hard Sad
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replied January 4th, 2008
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It would depend on why he is crying. First make sure that he has had enough to eat during the day and the recommended amount of sleep (naptime) during the day. If he is teething, you can try a little tylenol before he goes to sleep and see how he does on that for the night.

My third child would scream and cry and make herself throw up when she was a baby just so that she wouldn't have to go to bed. When she was even smaller she always stayed up until 3 am and that really killed me. I should have been a little more strict!

Eventually we realized that it wasn't going to stop, so we asked the doctor about it. He suggested giving her doses of Benedryl to "stone" her at night and see if that worked. Of course this is something you would have to ok with your own doctor, but I think it worked for us......I say I think because she also came down with something and started an irregular schedule because she didn't feel well.

Your son keeps waking up because he knows that you will come and help him. The key is to not pick him up. You can go in and check on him if you are worried he needs a change, say some soothing words, but don't touch him or pick him up unless he needs a change. You can even sit with him and watch him in his crib for a while until he calms down if that works. Sometimes my son just stares at me for a while and then he lies down when he sees that I'm not going to do what he wants.

Try putting some soft music on a CD player and making it repeat through the night.

So I see he wakes up three times a night. You can take it down to three weeks......the first week, definitely get rid of taking him to bed with you and just give him the pacifier if you don't want to just cut that visit all together. The next week, cut out the second trip to his room. The third, no more nighttime visits. It might take a little longer than a week for each you cut out, but at least that would be progress.

GL with it Smile
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replied January 4th, 2008
Active User, very eHealthy
Thanks girls. I know i just need to be strong but I feel sooo bad! Mominashoe (sorry I don't know your name!) I definately agree that he keeps waking up and crying because he knows I'll come in there, I keep telling my boyfriend that and yet we can't stop ourselves.. Would it be entirely wrong for me to go take a shower or something when I put him down to cry it out, that way I wouldn't hear it and give in?? Or is that totally bad? Last night he stayed up til 1030 and wouldn't settle down so after he had a big bottle and was changed and all his needs taken care of I laid him down in his crib. The second the door closed he was up screaming but I waited for 5 minutes then checked on him, laid him down again and left for another five minutes and then the third time I went in I laid him down and ended up patting his back for probably 30 minutes until he feel asleep it took forever! It was so hard and I feel horrible letting him cry because we live with my parents right now and their room is right across the hall from the nursery.. I know most people only say it takes a few days so maybe if we stick it out that long it will be alright. Thank you again girls.
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replied January 4th, 2008
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oh and I was going to say that we do play music for him, he even had a music box that turns on automatically if he starts crying.

Do you guys think maybe I should turn on a nightlight or something of that sort?
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replied January 4th, 2008
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Night lights are very good. I always use them. I have a CD player in my sons room that runs all night and that keeps him focused on white noise or classical music all night so that he won't be disturbed by the stupid school bus that's backing up across the street or my other children making loud noises.

It's not wrong to take a shower or to just to step outside onto the porch or watch a movie with headphones for a bit while you are waiting for him to cry it out. I know the crying can definitely make you go crazy!!

It is really hard and understandable that you can't help yourself and get him anyways. Letting a little one cry makes you feel like you're a bad mother, but what the best thing for him is actually to do the opposite of what you feel in this case because he needs the sleep Smile
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replied January 4th, 2008
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Here's my advice....go in, make sure he's OK cover him up and walk out. Give him a few pats and kind words. After that, no talking. Go in check on him, don't say anything, and then leave the room. You must insist that he sleep in his own bed if it is important for you. If he knows you will cave in, then he will continue to drive you to caving in. You must be strong for his sake. Nobody ever died from having to sleep intheir own bed, or crying about it, so you aren't a bad mom, just one who wants her son to develop healthy sleep habits. I hope it works!
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replied January 4th, 2008
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Thanks again everyone! I'm gonna put my foot down a little more tonight. I'm gonna lay him down at 8 and let him just cry a little bit. And I think if he wakes through the night I'll just let him cry unless I know he really needs something.

Is 8 a good bedtime for a 10 month old? To early? To late?
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replied January 4th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
The best time to put a child that age to bed at night is between 7:00 and 8:00. I've read 3 books on child's sleep and sleep training. I've gotten the BEST info from that book I recommended. It gives a guide for time span between waking up and naps and naps and bedtime. PM me if you need more info. I'm always willing to help with this subject b/c I've been there and DONE that!
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replied January 7th, 2008
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Ok I need more guidance!!! This is night 4 of our sleep struggle. I moved a rocking chair into the nursery and we go in there at 7:30 and I rock him with his bottle and he is almost instantly out. That has improved soo much. I used to rock him in the living room and there were too many distractions from my family, the tv etc. And he hasn't slept in my bed for 3 days!! Which is wonderful, I'm stickin to my guns with this one!!

But I need help with what to do when he wakes up. He is waking up SOO much during the night. Do I just let him cry every single time he wakes up? Do I go in there and lay him back down and then leave? The past few nights I have been patting his tummy/back till he goes to sleep and if that doesn't work I rock him in the rocking chair in his room but it sometimes takes over an hour to get him back to sleep. Its really hard letting him cry it out because my parents sleep right across the hall and my dad gets really ticked when he is woke up by this. So really what I'm asking is do I need to let him cry EVERY time he wakes? If I do it sometimes and not others is that going to confuse him and send mixed messages?

He has just woke back up.. like 30 minutes after i put him down. I'm letting him cry right now because my dad is still awake but after he goes to bed what am I to do!!

Oh and last night brayden was trying to escape from his crib. He was trying to stand on the bumper pad and crawl out, so we took that off. And then he stands there and shakes the side trying to get it to come down. Its not really possible for him to climb out, right?
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replied January 7th, 2008
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Without bumper pads, he can't get out. WIth them, he could EASILY flip himself out!

Sarah
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replied January 7th, 2008
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Oh.. and how long is it ok for him to cry? He has been crying for 30 minutes and doesn't seem to be letting up. This could go on forever.
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replied January 7th, 2008
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sillyakchick wrote:
Here's my advice....go in, make sure he's OK cover him up and walk out. Give him a few pats and kind words. After that, no talking. Go in check on him, don't say anything, and then leave the room. You must insist that he sleep in his own bed if it is important for you. If he knows you will cave in, then he will continue to drive you to caving in. You must be strong for his sake. Nobody ever died from having to sleep intheir own bed, or crying about it, so you aren't a bad mom, just one who wants her son to develop healthy sleep habits. I hope it works!


I did that! It worked wonderfully. It was difficult for a few weeks but I just kept on and it paid off. The whole cry it out is such a debate topic. I personally wouldn't do it if my child is under the age of 9 months. I did let Nate cry it out a few times when he was 10 months. I mainly did what was described above.
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replied January 8th, 2008
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Ya I was so hesitant to let brayden cry it out but now that he is almost a year old I have decided I really need to fix his sleeping problems..
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replied January 8th, 2008
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do you have a bedtime ritual? like at the same time every night have a bath, do a little massage with lotion, put on jammies, read a book, dim the lights and turn off the tv, sing a song while rocking in a chair or just put them to bed and stay with him for a while? if not, maybe you could try that. i have that lavender scented baby bath and i rub oil all over eadie after her bath and it really relaxes her and gets her ready to sleep. she is really sensitive to noises so i make the house quiet and either read to her or just sit and talk to her for a while in the rocking chair. when she starts to yawn i just rock her for a while and sing her a few songs or just hum to her and she goes to sleep.

and when they wake up at night you are supposed to keep the lights off and try not to make eye contact. just keep everything quiet and talk to them as little as possible. you can still give them a pat and reassure them but try to do as little as possible. don't they have a thing about this on supernanny all the time? lol. where you slowly work your way out of the room so they can see you and know you are there and feel safer, but they aren't getting picked up or talked to.
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replied January 8th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
kaerbear wrote:
do you have a bedtime ritual? like at the same time every night have a bath, do a little massage with lotion, put on jammies, read a book, dim the lights and turn off the tv, sing a song while rocking in a chair or just put them to bed and stay with him for a while? if not, maybe you could try that. i have that lavender scented baby bath and i rub oil all over eadie after her bath and it really relaxes her and gets her ready to sleep. she is really sensitive to noises so i make the house quiet and either read to her or just sit and talk to her for a while in the rocking chair. when she starts to yawn i just rock her for a while and sing her a few songs or just hum to her and she goes to sleep.

and when they wake up at night you are supposed to keep the lights off and try not to make eye contact. just keep everything quiet and talk to them as little as possible. you can still give them a pat and reassure them but try to do as little as possible. don't they have a thing about this on supernanny all the time? lol. where you slowly work your way out of the room so they can see you and know you are there and feel safer, but they aren't getting picked up or talked to.


I forgot about the bed time routine! It realy is important to be consistent with that and make sure you allow them some time to calm down prior to bed time. Hannah gets reaallly overstimulated when there is a loud movie on, and I have to just stop it for a while before she goes to bed. We do the bath, lavender oil, book and cup before bed, too and it's a really nice routine for her. I tried massage, but she just giglges and gets all silly.
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replied January 8th, 2008
Active User, very eHealthy
Oh boy I think its hopeless. Half the stuff you are telling me we have tired!! We did the bedtime routine and I seriously went out one time and bought like EVERY lavendar baby product and it doesn't do a darn thing for him!!

I know you should slowly work you way out of the room and no talk and such but as soon as I stop patting his back he stands up. He immediately gets up if he thinks I'm going to leave and starts screaming there is no way I'm ever going to get out of his room!!
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