I think I am finally ready to end my relationship with my boyfriend. We have been together for 20 years. There are several things I love about him. He is compassionate, loves animals, is fun to be around, is generous, and helpful. The reason I want to leave is he is verbally abusive. He puts me down a lot. And he brings up things I have done in the past, years later, and picks on me about how bad I am for things I have done in the pase. Recently I have been asking him to leave if he really feels I am so bad. He has a temper. He has never hit me, but he has threatened violence in the past and come close. I recently lost 25 pounds. I am 5'6" and went from 176 to about 150. He says I am too skinny now and should go ahead and lose more weight. He is 100 pounds overweight. I do not understand why he always picks at me. But I am finally tired of it. I have been with him since high school. I am afraid to be alone. I left once before, moved across country and went back with him after two months. I think maybe I didn't grieve the end of our relationship properly and had no support from people that were nearby. I think I am ready now. I have been second guessing myself for a while. When things are good they are wonderful, but it is not enough anymore... What do you all think? In 20 years there is a lot more. If you want more info, ask me...
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replied December 30th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
I think if you are unhappy you should not waste another 20 years, unless you love him very much. and can't see yourself without him, then I would tell him your thoughts and ask him to go to counseling.
Being along sounds sad and boring but look at it as a new adventure. You can do what you want to when you want to..
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replied December 30th, 2007
Experienced User
I have been in your shoes! Not that long of a relationship but it hurts when you love someone that much so time doesn't mean that you love any more or less. I think that you went back because of your fear of being alone and it makes sense, and I do think that you didn't give yourself that time. I think that if you want to keep trying the only way to make it work is to try going to counseling so that he can see how he is ruining this relationship and if you are really ready to go then do it but as you are doing it seek help in counseling that will help you get through the grieving and the fear. You still have plenty of life to live and you should be happy and it's not worth it to live your life in constant misery you deserve to be treated better than this. This is a choice you have to make and when you make that choice you have to jump in with your whole body or you will end up back where you are with him. I wish you luck!
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replied May 22nd, 2009
Supporter
i left my abusive boyfriend two years ago. i packed my bags while he was act work, jump in a cab, and got on the airplane headed to the sunshine state. the best day of my life.
i have a boyfriend who treats me well, but my son and i live alone. i enjoy not having someone verbally abuse me about my appearance, or tell me everything i do is wrong.
afraid to be alone! i am living in paradise!
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