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Hello-bipolar Or Communication Difference?

Hello all,
I really need your opinion about something. My girlfriend lately has felt extremely depressed after our arguments. I will say something to her and she doesn't know what to say. I'm learning this part. She needs time to think and formulate a response. It makes me feel she doesn't care. I keep pushing and pushing and she feels cornered, attacked, then angry and then depressed. She feels like she doesn't meet my needs and this leads to depression for her. I realize now I need to back off and give her time to think things out. Do you think this is something related to my bipolar condition or is this simply a communication difference that needs to be worked out?

THANK YOU,
Atticus
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replied December 13th, 2007
You know, I've wondered the exact same thing with my husband (he's bipolar, not me). Maybe we just don't know how to communicate, and that's why he always gets so mad at me. Maybe I'm saying the wrong things.

But in my case I know it's the bipolar that is barring us from communicating. I guess I was lucky (or unlucky, depending on how you look at it). I got to know my husband before he had his first bipolar episode. He had always been "normal" for the years I've known him. And this is how I know that we don't have a communication problem - we've never had this problem before his bipolar reared it's ugly d*mn head. Plain and simple.

Have you, in previous relationships, had the same problems?

Coal
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replied December 13th, 2007
Response
To be honest - I never have. Never have loved someone so much as this person. Never have taken the time to really work and make things better. I do love her so. I hate to hurt her and it kills me. I need to learn how to just stop and slow down and give her time to respond. It's so hard at times. Never stop fighting for the ones we love.

atticus
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replied December 13th, 2007
Experienced User
It's really hard to tell whether this is bipolar or not. Does your gf have a diagnosis? My husband is bipolar, but I'm usually the one who can't communicate clearly.
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replied December 13th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
I know I get my mood swings ups and downs. But, I've always seemed to be a passive aggressive person. I let things build up inside of me and when I blow OMG do I blow. I does not happen that often but I know it does go only with my Bipolar. The other day I was in a down depressed mode and all I wanted to do was rip all the Chiristmas lights down off the windows, the door, even take down the Christmas tree. Yeah, this last weeks one was a bad one for me. Over it for the time being now thank goodness. I personally think we all act out differently depending what our normal behaviorlal patterns are. If something normal for us then I feel personal with BiPolar it will intensify even more. Don't get me wrong, I don't go around braking things. I just pick fights with people that normally I would let go an say nothng. Or just go into my room and stay there for a whole day and sleep. The symptoms vary so much between all of us.
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replied December 28th, 2007
Whether it is bipolar or not bipolar, it is great that you want to work on these differing styles. I had the same problem with my husband. We both worked on it and are the better for it. They say if we are both alike, then one of us is not necessary. We grow because of our differences.
My two cents
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replied December 29th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
I agree with Karabearva. Also, it seems pretty normal to me that after two people fight, (who are in a relationship) one might be depressed for a while.
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replied November 16th, 2009
Experienced User
A communication difference, probably.
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