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My Guy Says He.s Getting Tired of Having to Explain Self

Well my boyfriends coworker who's lesbian took pictures of anothers girls ass on my guys phone and I saw them. I naturally assumed he took them. Since I have found other girls pics on his phone before.

His little brother was over at our house and I didn't want to discuss it since he was here. It wouldn't be cool. So when he took him home he just came back and locked himself in our room. I got up and asked him why he wasn't talking to me. He said "I'm tired that everytime you see something like that I have to explain myself to you. Everytime you do that I have to beg you and pleade not to be angry or sad" a week ago if some of you read my "some chik txt my guy and I confronted him bout it" post you.ll get an idea.

So his thing is that if I see something like that,that I shouldn't get any ideas and he should have to explain himself. What if he saw stuff like that on my cell?! Of course he has the rite to confront me about it! He wasn't even looking at me when I was talking to him so I just left the room. If he doesn't let me kno what's up how am I to know what's going on? Why can't guys understand that?
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replied December 4th, 2007
Experienced User
Your boyfriend shouldn't be getting mad at you.You have a right to ask him questions about it.Ask your boyfriend nicely if he can stop letting other people use his phone to take pictures.Tell him it bothers you and it's more of a respect thing.He sounds a little immature if he just locked himself in the room and wouldn't talk to you face to face about it.Tell him you have a right to be curious because of what he did in the past.
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replied December 4th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Just wondering but how often do you poke around on his phone?
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replied December 4th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
this does not sound like a very healthy relationship
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replied December 4th, 2007
Experienced User
The very first time I looked at his phone it was cause he handed it to me so I could play games on it an look at pics...which I found nudey pics of his babymama lol he said he syncd his new phone wit his old one and everything got transferrd. He said he didn't kno they were there. The second time was jus a few weeks back when my phone went crazy and kept sending random mesages. He wasn't the only one that got my random messages about 5 other people did. So I told him I.d erase them for him while he was in the bathroom. And I was erasing them but almost erased some other ones he had. And that's when I saw one txt from some girl and she was coming on to him., and when she had asked him if he had a girlfriend he said no. So I asked him calmly about it and he said he was joking around and that she knows me and him are together but that she was getting so annoying he had to call her and ask her to stop so we resolved that issue.
And This time he handed me his work phone so I could play wit it and stuff and found those pics. We.ve been together 14mnths and this has only happened 3 times. Our relationship does get bumpy but the majority of the time its happy and calm. Its jus when things like this happen that it gets bumpy. He makes it sound like I do it all the time and that I have no rite to question him about it.
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replied December 4th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
WHy are you still with him? do you clearly not see this progressing into a disaster? BIG RED FLAGS!
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replied December 4th, 2007
Experienced User
You make it sound like everything should be perfect in a relationship lol no relationship is perfect, there's always gonna be something there that makes us nag at each other, and argue etc. That's why were all here to get advice on stuff like this. I.ve already had a few people come at me telling me to leave him, he sucks, he.s not good enuf. No man is ever gonna be good enuf for us, but we love them flaws and all.
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replied December 4th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Ok, I was just checking because this was the second time I've commented on a rummaging through phone thing but I get it now.

If you think this is no big deal, then fine. But you NEED to stop looking through his stuff if you're going to continue with this relationship. If you can't trust this guy, then you can't have a good relationship-- and notice I didn't say perfect, just good. I know what you mean, nothing is going to be perfect but there should be respect, trust and friendship at the very least.

Do you trust and respect him enough to stop looking through his pictures and texts? I've had many opportunities to look through things on my boyfriend's phone and email but not once have I ever felt the need.
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replied December 10th, 2007
Experienced User
I do have trust and love for him. I guess its true what my mother said to me once. A heart that doesn't see it, a heart that doesn't feel it. Meaning if he was being sneaky but I didn't see it, I can't say nothing, lol I hate that saying. But its true, like I.ve heard" love a person with all
your heart and trust they don't break it". And its true, jus love and trust. That way if anything does happen in the future at least you can say you had trust and were honest in the relationship. I also feel a little bad that I.ve noticed its his friends (female) that come onto him even tho they kno he.s taken. But when I see something like that I always end up assuming he.s the instigator when I clearly kno its the other person. Maybe cause of my bad relationships I think that first but I'm learning to stop. Jus cause one jerk screwed me over shouldn't mean
ima blame my current boyfriend for all the mistakes menkind have made. *phew*
I needed to get that put thanks guys Smile
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