Ive been suffering with "depression" for about 9 years now. I use the term "depression" lightly as I genuinely do no know if that's what it really is.
I'm starting to think that there's more to it than just the blues.
I feel like there's two different versions of me, an extremely happy, bubbly, lively me, who experiments with colourful make-up, hair colours, clothing styles and who draws and writes and reads and loves her friends, and then there's the "depression" where I just cant do anything.
The happy me often starts things, but then the "depression" comes along and those things get forgotten about and never finished.
I used to self harm, and right now I'm in the "depression" stage, but I feel like the person who used to self harm was someone different. Sure I have the scars, but I can't understand why I would have done it.

I can expand a lot more on this, but as this is only an internet forum, I'm merely asking who would be the right person to talk to about all of this?
I've lost faith in medicine and doctors. I feel that they just don't care, that they just want to reap their big fat income and forget all about you when you leave their office. They've never gotten anything right for me, not even birth control, my IBS or why my chest hurt and my left side went numb last year.

I'm 23, and I can't live out the rest of my life feeling like this.
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replied November 16th, 2007
Supporter
You should look into therapists. Sure, they don't know everything, but they can recommend many things... even simple lifestyle changes that can really make a big impact on your mood. It worked for me... merely changing my eating habits and the way I had my life organized made me feel better.
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replied November 16th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
marvel is so right. Did you know that some foods can atually cause you to feel ill and down. The coloring and every preservative they put in them is not really good for you. I myslef now ready labels. And I also agree that seeing a theropist would really help you. You would be surprised how much you learn about yourself that you might not have been aware of. And yes, your lifestyle is very important to you mood swings. I always say, take 10 steps back and take a good look at your real self in the mirror. You can even talk to yourself. Be your own friend and let each other help each other. Modetation is also a very good source of relaxation. Some nice new age music lying in bed at night. It works!

Carrie

Thoughts anyone?
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replied November 16th, 2007
Thanks guys, I must say it felt good to be heard.
How would I go about finding which additives in foods cause me to feel down and which would make me feel better?
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replied November 16th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Well the label for ingredients is a good start. You want to try and stay away from thing high saturated fats, cholesterol, and suger. I would say to eat a good portion of veggies at leat two meals. They have lots of antioxidents in them.
But, if you are smart. Since I do now know your medical history. It would be best to check with your doctor to see what he thinks would do you the best. Good eating habits are alway a start to a good day. But, all the above additives I mentioned are really not good for you heart and ateries at all.

We are still here for you if you need to talk anytime. That's as long as we are not sleeping in our time zone. Smile

Carrie
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replied November 16th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
Dieticians!

But anyway, it sounded a little like bipolar II to me- you can be usually depressed with some recurring hypomanic states- hypomanic means not as high as in regular bipolar, but with more energy and high functioning- even if you still feel depressed. Know what I mean?

I know you said you lost faith in doctors- but really, give a psychologist a try. Just keep in mind that you are paying them- shop around and take the time to find one you really trust and really like.
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replied June 22nd, 2009
hi i am in a same sort of condition
i just turned 16 last week, i am a happy growing teenager with a nice family that cares and loves me, but then why do i feel down.
i always think why god created me this way, why was i never fast, why am i so tall why am i bullied by my older brother and i am fine with it.
i have many friends and enjoy much of my hobbies such as drawing and my imagination. but i always feel as if my friends are ignoring me and that i am loosing friends. i am finding my self having rages and snaps at people who i care about. i feel like i do not have enough energy for anything anymore and that i dont want to think about my future.
i dont no if its just me growing up, but i have researched these things and i think i might be suffering from depression, but i can not tell what should i do before i do something i regret

kourpo
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replied February 25th, 2019
Thank you for asking at Ehealth forum!

I read your question and I understand your concern.
Your symptoms are consistent with somatoform disorder with associated borderline personality trait. You would need psychotherapy sessions like CBT.
I hope it helps. Stay in touch with your healthcare provider for further guidance as our answers are just for education and counselling purposes and cannot be an alternative to actual visit to a doctor.
Take care
Khan
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