Medical Questions > Parenting > Parenting Debate Forum

Why Don't People Wait 'til They're Married to Have Children? (Page 1)

Must Read
Minor and more serious burns account for over 2 million doctor visits each year. But what is a burn? And what happens to the skin when it gets burned?...
Why are children at risk of burns? And what agents can cause the skin to burn? More on causes of skin burns and risk factors you can avoid here....
When should you seek medical help for a skin burn? We review common symptoms of burned skin as well as symptoms of airway burns here....
What is the big rush?
Did you find this post helpful?
|

User Profile
replied October 26th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
To some people marriage isn't a big issue and they feel that a baby IS the next step in their relationship. What's wrong with one coming before the other? As long as the child is in a happy and loving environment I don't think it matters-- and marriage wouldn't guarantee that anyways.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied October 27th, 2007
i think people dont should feel the need to get married before they have kids. whats the rush to get married also? I agree with Maddie34, if a child is bought up in a happy & loving environment, i think its great.
I personally dont feel that i have to be married to have a family.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied October 27th, 2007
Supporter
Because marriage isn't everything. If you are referring to why teens are getting pregnant on purpose then i have no idea
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied October 27th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
because marriage does not signify that you will be together forever anymore. I was with my husband for 6 years and we had 3 kids but he still left me all the same.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied October 27th, 2007
Experienced User
the thing i like about marriage is it holds a more important status, and there is less of a divorce rate than a breaking up rate.

but then again, the times are changing and marriage doesn't mean anything. which makes me sad. Sad
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied October 27th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
marriage doesnt mean bulls**t
it doesnt have anything to do with being a good parent

you dont needa ring to be commited to each other
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied October 27th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
I agree with what everyone has said. Future, why do you care so much? You seriously get on my nerves when you imply everyone has to be the same.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied October 27th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
I'm not married (engaged, pregnancy happened faster than expected LOL) but I do think that people should be in a stable and committed relationship before bringing a child into the world. I don't think marriage is necessary for good parenting but yes, desirable.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied October 27th, 2007
Marriage is just a piece of paper.... it doesnt mean anything....
Children are the true blessing....
SOme women want children .. .and are not in a committed relationship...
They shouldnt not bring stop wanting or going to have a child if they want one.. and know they have all the love and ability to be a good parent.
You dont need two to raise a child. If my sister in law would want to have children (she doesnt have a bf, or hubby or anything) that's fine.. and i see nothing wrong with it.

I was a single parent (even when i was married to my first hubby) Love the baby, b e the best parent(s) you can be... and that's all children need.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied October 27th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Breizzy wrote:
Marriage is just a piece of paper.... it doesnt mean anything....

It does to some people and legally it does give the father automatic parental rights on a child at birth


Breizzy wrote:
I was a single parent (even when i was married to my first hubby) Love the baby, b e the best parent(s) you can be... and that's all children need.

I have nothing against single parents but ideally I do think a child should have both a mother and father who love each other.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied October 27th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Re: Why Don't People Wait 'til They're Married to Have Child
futureshock wrote:
What is the big rush?


It's easier and more fun? Wink
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied October 30th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Re: Why Don't People Wait 'til They're Married to Have Child
Birch wrote:
futureshock wrote:
What is the big rush?


It's easier and more fun? Wink


I appreciate the attempt at humor, but I think it's actually the opposite.

Being older, (I mean older than a child, like older than 17) and out of school, and in a committed relationship makes it EASIER to have and support children.

I guess marriage is a dirty word, so I will reword my question:

Why don't people wait until they are out of school and with a partner who has a good enough job to support a family before they have children?
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied October 30th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
Re: Why Don't People Wait 'til They're Married to Have Child
futureshock wrote:
Birch wrote:
futureshock wrote:
What is the big rush?


It's easier and more fun? Wink


I appreciate the attempt at humor, but I think it's actually the opposite.

Being older, (I mean older than a child, like older than 17) and out of school, and in a committed relationship makes it EASIER to have and support children.

I guess marriage is a dirty word, so I will reword my question:

Why don't people wait until they are out of school and with a partner who has a good enough job to support a family before they have children?


okay
what about the low life 40 yr old parents with no job that are married and have kids?
there is no age oon love
their is no age on haveing a good job
heck there are some 18 yr old kids who have a better set life than some older people

and what does school mean? you dont have to finish school to guarentee a good life and a good job
im 16 yrs old and i made wonderful money when i rescued
one month i made over 2 thousand dollars
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied October 30th, 2007
Experienced User
2 thousand dollars isnt enough to support you and your boyfriend and ur child? and if u finish school and college u have much higher chances of gettign a good job and supporting your family? i mean what can u possibly do if u dont finish school....1 in a million makes good money if he didnt finish school. and u want to give your child everything in the world so why rush and have kids so early when for your child's benefits its better if you wait and get ur life together before giving a life to someone else.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied October 30th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
blondie_e wrote:
2 thousand dollars isnt enough to support you and your boyfriend and ur child? and if u finish school and college u have much higher chances of gettign a good job and supporting your family? i mean what can u possibly do if u dont finish school....1 in a million makes good money if he didnt finish school. and u want to give your child everything in the world so why rush and have kids so early when for your child's benefits its better if you wait and get ur life together before giving a life to someone else.


yeah 2 thousaned isnt enough
but thats not even full potential
thats working on MY time when I want too
so i could do it full time and do great if i wanted

i think ive got my life pretty much together
my childs going to have it better than most kids do out there. school doesnt mean crap anymore. at all.
they didnt teach me one god damn thing i needed to know for real life

they didnt care one single bit about me. infact last words from my principles mouth was i was w waste of their time. because i wasnt at school for 2 weeks. and when i tried to go back they said i was too far behind
and basically told me to give up
but OH WAIT when TAKS testing time rolled around they called me wanting me to come take the test? why/? because they would get MONEY from the gov for it
and better "school rateings"

marriage doesnt have anything to do with haveing a stable relationship at all
lots of kids grow up wiith divorced parents
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied October 30th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
popminer wrote:
the thing i like about marriage is it holds a more important status, and there is less of a divorce rate than a breaking up rate.

but then again, the times are changing and marriage doesn't mean anything. which makes me sad. Sad


are there statistics on break up rates? i couldnt find any?
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied October 30th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Ahhh...gee, getting back on track, maybe people don't wait because they aren't legally allowed to get married but they are certainly allowed to have kids?
It's a control issue? A rebellious one? (I'm thinking in regards to the young parents.)
People get pregnant accidentally, decide to have kids, but then equate a marriage with a wedding and suddenly money gets in the way?
I know a couple who waited to get married although they had kids b/c she could get more financial aid for school if she were single.
People see marriage as the gov't sham it is?

I think there are lots of hypothetical reasons.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied October 30th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
Birch wrote:
Ahhh...gee, getting back on track, maybe people don't wait because they aren't legally allowed to get married but they are certainly allowed to have kids?
It's a control issue? A rebellious one? (I'm thinking in regards to the young parents.)
People get pregnant accidentally, decide to have kids, but then equate a marriage with a wedding and suddenly money gets in the way?
I know a couple who waited to get married although they had kids b/c she could get more financial aid for school if she were single.
People see marriage as the gov't sham it is?

I think there are lots of hypothetical reasons.


birch whats the legal age to get married? cant you get married under 18?
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied October 30th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
As for the original subject (No! I'm not a grammar nazi! <_<) I don't understand why people don't wait, except in the cases where the couple doesn't believe in marriage. There are people who don't want or feel they need to be married: they are devoted to each other and they don't care about the government's final say.

Personally, if you're a person who believes in marriage, you should wait until you're married to have a child. That way it grows up in a (hopefully) stable home with two parents.

Two parents is the ideal, though my brain just thought about the possibilities of a culture where the child is traditionally only brought up by one parent (no culture in particular, kind of a fictional one). If it were socially accepted then it wouldn't be a problem because that's just how it is for them.

Personally, I would have a problem with raising a child out of wedlock. A child is something I want to share with a partner, not something I want to do alone. *shrug*
|
Did you find this post helpful?
Tags: parenting
Quick Reply