Medical Questions > Mental Health > Schizophrenia Forum

My Boyfriend And Our Future.

I knew my boyfriend had Schizophrenia two weeks into our relationship. He is on medication (on and off) and it didn't worry me until last night. We just got done watching Donnie Darko (of all movies to watch) and he started talking about his situation. That sometimes he sees people that aren't they, if he sees people talking amongst themselves he hears them say bad things about him, and he hears other voices (well just one really). He began trying to explain this all to me and I'm not new to the whole schizophrenia thing, but I've never been in a relationship like this one with one before. He went on to say that the only reason he is on medication is because society has marked him as crazy and he isn't. He said he just has a different perspective on things and that these voices give him the inspiration and that a psychiatrist can't tell him that these voices are lying because no one can prove their theories wrong.
I mean logically he's right. No one can prove that some of the theories he's come up with are wrong because its impossible to do so. But the fact that he seems upbeat about this worries me. I told him to just keep taking his medication and he is fine with that but he kept saying "What if I'm right? What if these voices are god telling me this. God obviously gave me schizophrenia for a reason... and just because everyone doesn't have schizophrenia doesn't make it a bad thing." Its frustrating to debate with a relativist let alone a schizophrenic relativist because in the eyes of a relativist anyone's perception is fine because philosophically we can't prove that what that person see's is real or not because we are not in their head. I'm worried that in our future he will continue to believe this is a gift and continue to believe that he has telepathy and I won't know what to do because he is EXTREMELY stubborn to begin with.
He is only 23 and I want to know if schizophrenia gets worse and worse over time and if there is a possibility of remission. He was only diagnosed with this within a few years and I'm worried this is just the beginning of more things to come.
Did you find this post helpful?
|

replied October 19th, 2007
Experienced User
Some patients remain stable and others degenerate. There's a larger risk the illness will degenerate if medication is not taken. A small minority of patients are cured naturally for no apparent reason.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied October 19th, 2007
Philo wrote:
Some patients remain stable and others degenerate. There's a larger risk the illness will degenerate if medication is not taken. A small minority of patients are cured naturally for no apparent reason.


I'm just a little worried he may become the "classic" schizo (you know like the one's you see in documentaries or ones portrayed in movies) I'm worried about an unstable life if children were to ever come into the picture or marriage. (not in that order. lol) And man is it frustrating because he is SO persuasive... I mean at times I think weird things to and the possibility but I know I don't have schizophrenia. Its just hard to explain to him something I have no proof of... like god and telepathy.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied October 19th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
You have to distance yourself a little and realize that he doesn't know the difference between reality and not reality right now.

while his argument logically makes sense, there is something in you that tells you it doesn't, right? Some people with schizophrenia try to rationalize their experiences so gain credit or feel like a normal person. That's what I would do. And he doesn't realize that what he's experiencing isn't real- that's what schizophrenia is. He won't understand this, and there's no way you can make him understand it, until he is treated successfully.

If you plan on staying with him, you are going to need to develop a relationship with his prescribing doctor. Right now, his medications aren't working, or something isn't working. While he may be perfectly functional, if he still believes his delusional thoughts are real, that is wrong.

it's really hard with someone we love because we want to believe them, we want to validate them. But that won't help him.

Schizophrenia usually gets worse if someone is not treated. It is a lifelong illness for most people and most people with it need to stay on medication until the day they die. It usually shows up around early adulthood and develops from there, so it's possible that you don't know the extent of his disease. I'm not trying to scare you, but you need to know that it's not just going to go away. He deserves to have a loving relationship, and it's perfectly reasonable to think that he could be fine on medication. So it's up to you to decide if it's worth it.

Whatever you do, don't let your love for him blind you to his delusions. I've been there- I know it's hard.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied October 19th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
It seems like this gentleman has limited insight into his illness. Tread carefully.

I know that when people are diagnosed with schizophrenia younger and refuse to take medications, the brain synapses degenerate and it becomes much worse to treat as age progresses. It is a biological illness, and left untreated it will get worse.

Best of luck to you!
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied October 31st, 2007
So it happened again today. He called me up and said that he saw a lady walking a dog that looked just like my dog but he said there was something different about it. He said he looked down and back up and the dog was gone. But in place of the dog there was a bunch of neon colors that looked as if something plucked the dog out and left a residue. Like someone had carved the dog out of existence. He said he took his medication last night (and he has been doing well with his meds lately) so I told him to talk to his nurse practitioner but he said if it happened again he would. But he went on to say "what if what I'm seeing is real though? No one can say what reality really is since no one can see through everyones eyes" I didn't no what to say. I was speechless.... all I said was "no. its not there"
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied October 31st, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Uh oh. Decomp on the horizon, perhaps.

Body chemistry can change; he's young, and will need constant medicine maintainance.

You have to take everything he says with a grain of understanding. And that grain is "he is not himself right now".

Best wishes...and remember, the only person you can control is you.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied November 29th, 2007
Active User, very eHealthy
As long as you have false hope it will be okay.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied April 8th, 2011
What was his name? I think I know him!
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied January 22nd, 2012
My boyfriend cut me off because I'm not really into god (according to him)and because he needs to be away was picked up by the police after he was found walking around in a wooded area barefooted. He had jumped over a wooded fence trying to get away from someone that was trying to get him. We don't know who this "someone" is. When the police found him he obviously he didnt make any sense to them and he was taken to a mental hospital. He says he's the second coming of christ, and all of the sudden he's a millionaire..i dont know how to deal with this. but i am incredibly sad. This is the love of my life whom i planned on marrying and having a family with. I don't know what to think.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied June 8th, 2013
I know this thread is old, but seeing your post reminded so much of my situation. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 years, and he suddenly cut me off too for not being as religious as him and the police conspiracy and for not believing that he was a prophets son. he hates me and blocked me out of his life. I don't know what to do too, because i cannot just walk away leaving him in this condition. This is so sad and confusing...
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied January 22nd, 2012
Active User, very eHealthy
Now isn't the time for children, for any of us.

Not to mention it's risky getting married to us, screw the stigma debate, that stuff is very real, and those fears become a reality all of the time.

If he is like me then he was being chased, jinn, demons, spirits, ghosts, it's all the same really. Oh what they can do to your life. So there, look into it why don't you. He probably was being chased. And strange things that at the very least seem to be telepathy (among other things) do actually happen.

Find out what you can.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied January 22nd, 2012
Thank you for your reply.

I have been reading about this all day long. It's almost an obsession now. I wish i could physically fix him. But i know i can't. I just wonder what life will be after this. Scary thought for me and his mother.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied April 19th, 2012
schitzo boyfriend
my first boyfriend at age 19 has schizophrenia.
i am now 21. when he had his first "episode" we thought he was demon possessed... he was running away from wat he said was demons. We were in a long distant relationship, so when he went through wat ppl said was demon possession i immediantly drove down to see him... when i saw him he looked so out of it... not like demon possessed but like sick... his eyes where piercin dark. he had this weird look on his face... the thing is he was litterally the Godliest Guy i had ever met in my life when i first met him, he was so honest and open to God. He was wat i would call an extreemest for christ. So when the people from Church told me he was possessed i seriously just couldnt believe it, he told me everything... and he was definitely real and true to God. Well the 1st day i was down there with him, he was just trying to get away from everyoone, like he was scared of all of us... he didnt even know who i was. He was so freaked out he jumped out of the window of his house and into the mountains. It was nighttime and we went on a search for him, but we didnt find him til the morning... when we did they took him to the hospital & he bit off his tongue, like litterally. i had to go back home, After he came to, i remember talking to him on the phone and he told me that he had thought everyone around him was a demon, and that demons where chasing him.. he remembers me being there, but he thought i was a demon too at one point.. and he said the reason he jumped out of the window was because a voice told him if he wanted me his girlfriend to live he had to do it... now when he was in the hospital for a week or so after they found him, he was like a child & wanted someone with him at all times like a little boy... this is just part of my experience of knowing him the first year... its been a couple of years since & we arent together right now, but its only been a month since i havent seen or talked to him & i miss him so much.. everyone i knew was so scared for me to be with him, especially my parents. they were afraid he might hurt me... this whole time ive known him he has never raised a hand to me. I was the one who broke up with him. everyday i think about about him and wonder if maybe God put me in his life to help him. Ive never missed someone so much in my life & he was really the sweetest thing ever, he had a good heart when he was in his right mind. He was always there for me & he would do anything for me cuz he loved me. they say everything happens for a reason, im just trying to figure out wat the reason for us meeting was. I hate how i broke his heart. this is just a little part of my experience of knowin a schizo. I wish i could say he got better, but if anything he has got worse. I pray God helps or heals him. Sad
|
Did you find this post helpful?
Must Read
Schizophrenia is a lifelong brain disorder. But how do doctors define it? And is there a cure?...
What causes schizophrenia? And what are the risks of developing this treatable mental illness?...
The first signs of schizophrenia may be difficult to identify. Learn the most common signs and symptoms of schizophrenia and know when to ask for medical help....