all the joy of my virgo quitting his beer drinking days are gone...he fell off the wagon ...now the dred of what the weekend will bring ....I walk on egg shells and I spend the time alone with him in the same space....I can't go where he ends up after a few beers so he goes off and entertains himself. while I was out of town he started again ...I can't ever leave town? am getting my mind set for what I know is coming , lonely days lonelier nights and the smell of beer in his pours. I hate that he needs to drink at all his best friend and still devoted friend D.S. told me my virgo started drinking at ten years of age the child of alcoholic parents. he is 52 now I can't hope for him to quit now. I noticed that the next day I got up early so I could raid his pockets for what ever money was left cause he smokes too and there was just enough for a carton of cigarettes and a tank of gas ...I was sure if I did not take care of it he might drink it and there would be no gas and no cigarettes ....why I complain if I choose to stay in this I don't know maybe because I can and thats all I can do ...I don't understand myself in this who chooses to love and remain with an alcoholic ? is there a club I can join out there for stupid women like me? what very little change came when he was sober will be gone in no time his beer causes him to leave me without leaving.........torn and alone til he comes to his senses....I believe I will get some counseling before I lose myself in this and can't find a way out. the shock is still on me I believed he would need a reason to start again but no he just wants to poison himself in front of me liquid suicide one can at a time . who do I get mad at? his history , his illness, his weakness, there is this treasure of a man in there with the drunk that I am gonna miss alot . I wish I did not love him so much . I could walk away then. I don't so much need any replys just a sounding board for what is in my head. thank you
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replied October 10th, 2007
Experienced User
"is there a club I can join out there for stupid women like me?"

AlAnon

Richard
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replied October 10th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Yes it works. It can help you in so many areas in your life. Try it, you can find the number is the phone book or online even. I think they probably have a website where you can find a meeting near you. its scary at first but there are people out there just like you. It has helped me have a relationship with my mom. She is a mom now. Its the best gift.
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replied October 12th, 2007
Experienced User
:)he He He He
yes yes I know alonon.........would you guys believe I have not gotten to it yet????we went toe to toe over it just yesterday .I wanted to know why? because he was lonely.......I was just in el paso helping my kid?????I was coming home soon I even came home sooner per his request?????the drinking is the symptom of the reason he is at it.......I don't know his past not all of it? suicide of a step son in his first marraige after divorce..for one ? child of alcoholic parents ...two? but I guess any reason will do huh richard? if he is gonna he just wants to and no reason works too. God brought me here He needs to infuse me with what ever it will take to love this man through this right . hey I enquired at a mental health facility too ....50.00 per session $$$$$$$$ thats alot when you have nothing ...yes I know alonon....you guys will be the first to know when i get to that meeting. thank you . wazzywoman /robiin
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replied October 29th, 2007
Experienced User
“but I guess any reason will do”….

You are starting to get it Robin. It is insane, we will drink for any reason what-so-ever. We will drink for no reason, We drink when things are going good to celebrate, we drink when things are going bad to feel better. We drink when nothing is going on to relieve the boredom. But mostly, we drink because we are driven before an obsession we can not control of refuse. Not alone that is.

But don’t despair too much. Sometimes a slip or two is useful, if it clears up any misconceptions about who and what we are. Maybe your guy is getting a clearer idea about what he is facing, I hope so.

But you, now that is another question entirely. You have little to no control over if he drinks or not, you know that. But you have a world of options available to you as to what you choose to do. My suggestion is, visit that AlAnon site nightflight offered. You can get your feet wet in 12 step recovery there and maybe meet other women, who for reason I can not fathom, fall in love with drunks like your guy and me.

Richard
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