I have a daughter who is 18, has always been a overachiever, held three jobs thru high school,but with a negative attitude and now in her freshman year of college, she seems like her behavior is worse, She is always down on life, afraid to DO anything (like apply for a job), fearful of talking to people, afraid to go into class late. Afraid to ask for help in college. Is any of this NORMAL? How do I get her attitude changed???
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replied September 21st, 2007
Experienced User
Re: Normal Teenagers???
DN5150 wrote:
I have a daughter who is 18, has always been a overachiever, held three jobs thru high school,but with a negative attitude and now in her freshman year of college, she seems like her behavior is worse, She is always down on life, afraid to DO anything (like apply for a job), fearful of talking to people, afraid to go into class late. Afraid to ask for help in college. Is any of this NORMAL? How do I get her attitude changed???



shes probably going through depression, the same thing happened to me and i was diagnosed with depression a while ago
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replied September 21st, 2007
Especially eHealthy
You can't change her attitude. She is the one who would have to change.

Trust me, a lot of being a teenager will be outgrown eventually. Smile And soon, they become like real people again. It just seems to take a long time.

ETA: It could in fact be some depression. Depression upon entering college and the 'real' world is quite common. Maybe a visit to the doctor?
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replied October 3rd, 2007
Experienced User
Hi DN,
I don't mean to frighten you but I do recall that certain illnesses strike teens when they enter college. schizophrania being the main one.
I would recommend that she see a doctor for an evaluation so that her problems don't escalate.
I can recall very well after losing my job for a period of seven months and in that course of time, I became afraid to go to the super market and it became worst for me to be around people and then it turned worst for me panic wise to have to find a job. my mind kept making it worst and worst before I finally sought help for it.
I was put on an anxiety medication and I had therapy with a wonderful person I matched up with. we had a good repore which is very important.
I think maybe your daughter needs to talk about things so she doens't keep it bottled up inside.
holding things in can only make a person sick and really begin to effect the person physically. which you can see it's effecting her already.
It's not uncommon for young adults go thru a major change in their lives when they enter college. there's a whole set of new demans on them. they don't necesssiarly feel ready to be considered an adult in their minds. we as the parents may expect them to behave a certain way when really they aren't ready to just switch into this mode.
putting expectations on them can sometimes make them feel pressured.
they have to learn how to adapt to changes now and have to learn to grow into an adult.
we're there to guide them, but they are their own person.
I wish her the best and that she seeks counseling before it gets worst.
good luck

L
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replied October 3rd, 2007
Experienced User
Hi
i think that u should give her time and it may were off.
If it does not stop take her to the doctors.
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replied October 21st, 2007
Experienced User
if it's not something a little "snap out of it!" won't cure it could be something way more serious- I'd address it right away if i were you, college is not the time to be reluctant or fearful.
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replied October 22nd, 2007
Especially eHealthy
If it's getting in the way of things, like she is so afraid that she won't do things she really needs to do, it could be a problem. Talk to her about it and see if she thinks she needs help. There is probably a counselor at her school that she could start with.
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replied November 9th, 2007
Your daughter sounds kinda like me. I was diagnosed with social anxiety and depression because I was and still am afraid to do all of that...
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replied January 23rd, 2008
Maybe she has suddenly realised that she has given herself a really high standard to live up to and is feeling overwhelmed. You have to make life choices and the enormity of that may suddenly impact on you and cause panic.
There are also a lot more people from a wider background to compete with which can add to insecurities.
Loss of friends, trouble in love life, loss of income and a new environment can all cause a person to feel unsure and if it all comes at once then depression can set in.
It doesn't mean shes mad ... a short course of anti-depressants can be used as a crutch while she gets herself together.
Good luck.
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replied January 29th, 2008
i have the same thing
hey i go through the same thing now im always afraid to do anything like talking to people and im always down and not energetic at all so your not the only one.
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replied January 30th, 2008
I too am in my freshman year and am going through the same problems. I can't figure out what my problem is, but i don't feel like this is just a normal teenage phase type thing. Maybe your daughter needs some more positvity in her life..lord knows where to find it.

Also, this is a pretty hard time..freshman year that is. no matter how self dependant you are adulthood is coming up soon and it's hard to face now that we are so close..
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