Medical Questions > Relationships > Troubled and Abusive Relationships Forum

Is She Worth the Time If She Cheated On Him?

This isn't for me - this is in regards to my friend "Jerry", who began dating one of his exes "Ally" after being broken up with her for a few years

First, a little backstory:
When Ally spoke to Jerry about the possibility of them dating, Ally was in the process of divorcing her physically and sexually abusive husband (call him "Ex"). I don't know what the etiquette is about dating and having sex during a divorc,e but whatever. Jerry and Ally already did the freinds-with-benefits thing before they began 'dating', so it's not like they're taking their time.

About two weeks into their dating, Jerry caught Ally cheating on him with Ex, and for about a week, Jerry did not speak to her (but they were still dating). This past week, they had their little heart-to-heart chat and now they're in wuv once again because she was oh-so-sorry for screwing around behind Jerry's back. Jerry is a good friend of mine and he's very open with me about most issues, and he mentioned in passing about how him and Ally were relying only on birth control for their protection.

Normally this would not faze me, but can a woman who can't even be trusted to be faithful to her BF be trusted to take her birth control faithfully, or at all? Jerry is one of those guys who just cannot be single for very long, and due to having about 25 girlfriends since high school (he's 22 now), I fear he is just settling for this woman who cheated on him when they dated years ago and cheated on him again when they reunited - I'm sure he figures he'll never find 'the one', so he'll just settle for whoever shows an interest in him, even if they cheat on him with every other man in town.

I don't know why he would want to stay with someone who has no problem being unfaithful to him, but I know it's not my place to tell him who he should and should not date. I guess part of me wants to make him understand this crap because he stressed out all this past quarter at college trying to not get kicked out due to bad grades, and I was his crying shoulder every fifteen minutes when he had an emo breakdown.

I guess I just don't want to have to hear his whining that often again when Ally leaves him or he knocks her up because she lied about being on the pill. I'm not saying I don't like being there for's just the frequency at which he comes to me to vent - I know once I spent almost two whole days and nights with him to keep him company, and when I dared say I wanted to go home, about ten minutes after getting in my room, he calls to whine and cry some more. Just to give you an idea of how much attention this kid needs. Shocked

Advice? My current solution is to just sit back with some popcorn and watch a most likely inevitable trainwreck unfold. Can cheaters turn over a new leaf, or are they destined to always be deceitful to their partners?
Did you find this post helpful?

replied October 8th, 2007
Experienced User
Im sorry but i didnt actually read the whole thing but the heading said enough. She is definately .N.O.T worth it. There is no excuse so your friend should cut their losses early and run as fast as he can!!
Did you find this post helpful?