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Divorced Parents...moms Got a New Guy Now! Help!

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I'm really confused on how to feel about this whole thing so i decided to confront some of you on here to see how you guys would react. Here's the deal:

My Dad moved out last June 1st (right after i graduated). Their divorce wasn't final up untill about, probably a month ago. She was hanging out with this older guy thats 53 (she's 43 as of the 13th). She said they were just friends and i didn't believe her cause they hung out quite a bit and always talked about him. She met him on the internet. Now as of TWO WEEKS AGO she's been talking to this new guy. She decided not to spend her birthday with her kids but to spend it with this new guy. K whatever, is what i told her. They have hung out quite a few times now...at his house, caribou coffee, bowling tonight. But last night she decided that instead of going to the football game like they had planned, they decided it was to cold out to go. So she just decided to have him come over and they were going to watch a movie. Whatever! So he comes over, walkes in the door and i hear "hey hunnie *smooch*" and i'm thinkin ok GREAT FIRST IMPRESSION! (AHHH just talking about this makes me want to just hit someone). She talks about how special thie guy makes her feel, they talk 3 times a day on the phone, she has some love song for a ring tone when he calls her, they say they love each other, i don't know how to react to this. I don't want a SECOND DAD! But anyways when he was over here thats all i kept hearing was *smooch* *smooch* *smooch*!! It made we want to vomit. And another thing i heardwas something that sounded to be like her patting her on her butt". This just isn't something i want to hear or see! I mean come on! Have so frickin' respect for us kids. (He doesn't have any kids so maybe he doesn't know). He has been married twice already. But my mom seems to think that they are going to be together for a long time, i mean COME ON MY GOD its been like a month since you frickin' met him! But they watched the movie and as soon as my bf got off work he called me cause i told him about it, he told me i could come over the second he got off work! So i left and didn't say bye or anything, just left. So my mom came home from work today and was like what do you think of him? And i told her the truth! I told her that i didn't like him and that i thought that he was fake! Because thats what i thought and i wanted her to know and the only thing she said was 'that makes me sad'!

I just want to know if this if normal? How would you guys/girl respond to this kind of situation? Am i over reacting? Or even if i posted this on the wrong forum.

Just anything would be sooo helpful. I'm pretty much getting really strressed out for some reason...its like my body is reacting really weird. (And plus i just switched my bc, if that could have anything to do with it).

Oh yea and one more thing before i end my life novel...before she started 'meeting' any guys she asked if i cared if she became 'happy again' and i said no cause i didn't think that once she actualy met someone that i would act like this.

I don't know what to do!
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replied January 28th, 2008
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So, it's been a while and I am sorry no one replied to you at the time. How have things panned out?
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replied January 29th, 2008
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Well thanks for the reply, even though its been awhile. Its nice to know someone cares Smile But they are still together....just in the other room actually. I still don't like him! I don't like that i have to hear them kissing ALL THE TIME or see them laying on top of eachother as i walk from my room to the kitchen. I mean i don't do that with my boyfriend around my mom and i guess i just expected that she would do the same. Guess not... I just don't understand. Something tells me thats hes a pervert. I won't even take a shower in my own house when hes over....i just feel like im being watched. I don't know why i think like that. Maybe its cause when my dad was here i knew he didnt want to see me naked, not that this guy does, but hes not my dad, so i can't be sure. I don't like the way he comes off. Everytime i see him its like he says hi just to make me mad. I know that he knows that i don't like him....so why does he do it? I just don't understand! I see that as him provolking me! I just don't know what to do. My mom is head over heals for him and i have no idea why. She knows i don't like him and when i do say something bad about him, like how he ditches her all the time, she gets all defensive and crap and eventually tells me if i don't like i tjust to move out. I didn't think mothers were suppose to pick their boyfriend over their own kids....maybe i was wrong!
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replied January 29th, 2008
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Keeba I feel for you. I cannot understand why your mother wants to play around like this in full view of her daughter. I cannot understand how she could EVER tell you to move out to make way for her boyfriend.

However, maybe that's what you shpuld start planning to do. You say you feel as though there is something perverted about him - in my experience, instinct is a great tool in the day-to-day running of your life.

Could you not stay with your dad for a while?

Let me know how things go.
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replied February 21st, 2008
Try spending time with the new guy (along with ur mom of course). Maybe you'll understand him a little more, and it'll bring his positive points out and hide some of the negative stuff.

I know it's sad to see your parents divorced, but they can't communicate and it would be better than hearing them fight everyday.
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replied February 29th, 2008
Experienced User
I know how you feel....
well...you're NOT over-reacting.......
um...my dad passed away when I was still really young......
I dont remember anything about him...
so growing up..it was just me,my siblings,and my mom...
when she started dating[[beg. of my highschool years]]...
I HATED IT...
I mean.. I HATED every guy that I meet.....
so it acutally never worked out....
but as I got older..I realized that...
my mom needs some happiness in her life......
so I gave her that chance....[[to date again]]..
now...she's with a guy..that's TRUELY nice to her...and he's nice to us to0......
he's da one paying for my school and he got me a car....
Razz......
anywais...I"m not saying that you have to like this guy that's dating your mom..just give your mom a chance...
dont show it to them[[your mom and her bf]] that you dont like the guy......
just think of how your mom feels...
put her feelings before yours.......
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replied September 8th, 2008
Experienced User
Perhaps it must be hard adjusting to a new guy ur mum just got to know in just a month..maybe u could sit down and talk to ur mum that ur kinda not mentally prepared to keep seeng them smooch smooch around when ur at home and maybe it could help if she and the bf bring that thing to a bit more privacy..

i also personally think u need time to adjust to him. not all kids can accept their mum/dad's new relationship..well until the prson does someting to gain the kid's trust..

dont say u hate him or anything..or dont act so.. perhaps ur mum tot everyting would be ok coz u alredi have a bf..so let her know u need time to adjust..
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replied October 17th, 2008
Experienced User
Keeba88, try writing in paragraphs, you'll be amazed how more attention ur thread will get
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replied November 10th, 2008
Experienced User
"didn't think mothers were suppose to pick their boyfriend over their own kids....maybe i was wrong!"

Hun, let me tell ya. My parents divorced before I was 5. When I was 7.5 my mom started dating one of her "friends" ex's. They were dating for 10 years before they got married. He was waiting until I was almost 18 so he could throw me out when I disagreed with him. He is total TRASH and has always been put before my moms 3 kids. My mom didn't see it though because hey "love is blind". Yeah I hated her for it growing up, and yeah I got the "If you don't like it move out" sooooo many times I lost count. I have been in and out of my moms house since I was 16.

I am now 22 (23 in March) and my mom has been married for almost 5 years. I live with my bf now. And now that I am on the outside looking in, it is A LOT easier to forgive my mom for the mistakes she made. All I can do is vow not to make the same mistakes when I am a mom (hopefully soon).

Basically, just talk to your mom and let her know you feel uncomfortable around him. Maybe she will respect your feelings and keep the smoochy stuff to a minimum or take it to the bedroom.

Good luck. Smile
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