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Depressed and Feeling Alone

i have been very depressed lately, alone, and growing more alone each day. I have been sober for 2 1/2 months now and i am increasly dealing with more and more suicidial thoughts. i am 18 and this is the worse time in my life.

i met the perfect person for me 9 months ago, we instantly fell in love and we talked everyday on the phone when we couldnt see each other. i opened myself up to her and did everything for her i could think of i always made her feel better when she was down and i was always willing to listen and help her with any problem she had. we are deeply in love with each other.

i was sick of my minimum wage job, i think in my own mind i want to prove to her that i wasnt a nobody. i pursued selling narcotics. i knew the consequences for my actions if i got caught. i did not hide what i was doing from her, i told her everything. she was always completely honest with me as i was with her.

i got snitched on by a long time friend of mine from middle school. this friend got caught with a large amount of weed and she got scared so she set me up. i felt completely betrayed. i am now facing 2-5 years in prision

after i got set-up my girl's whole family found out aswell as my family. before they knew about what i was doing i had a place in their family. everyone liked me and i was even allowed to stay at their house when i wanted and i was invited to all family activitys. i was going to marry her and her whole family was more than happy for us.

i had lost everything, except for one thing, her. she told her parents she would not break up with me and she stood by my side. i was offered with a proposition from my dad. come down live with me and after the case is over my girl could come down and we could start our lives over, get a fresh start, and be drug free.

my girl has been kicked out by her parents and is struggling to even find a place to live every night. my attorney wont let me have physical contact with her, so my dad wont let her come down yet.

our relationship is suffering because of the distance between us and my constant depression, i am not there for her when she needs me the most

what should i do, i feel so alone and i feel i should be by her side like she was for me
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replied July 25th, 2019
Thank you for asking at Ehealth forum!

I read your question and I understand your concern.
Continue legal proceedings.
Do regular exercise and yoga.
Avoid loneliness.
Keep yourselves engage.
I hope it helps. Stay in touch with your healthcare provider for further guidance as our answers are just for education and counselling purposes and cannot be an alternative to actual visit to a doctor.
Take care
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