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Girls I dunno what the heck is wrong with me today!! Bare with me here this could be long...And its just me nagging!!!

Today steve told me that he got offered a second shift job making a few more dollars an hour. Well as most of you know I just had a job interview yesterday and things went great. It sounds like I am going to get the job. The hours for the job I applied for would be between 2-7. The position offered to steve would be 3-11. So now basically he really upset me and said he wants this job. I wanted that cleaning job so bad!! And the hours would have been perfect for me. So I guess that job is down the drains now and I have to look for a postion between like 5am and 2pm. Which really sucks. Gosh I cried so bad. And thats not the only reason I cried. Alot of bullsh*t happened last time steve worked second shift there. Girls would call me saying hes cheating on me and all kinds of crap. I told him I am so worried that is going to happen again and I cannot handle that rightn now..If ever for that matter. He promises me there won't be. I told him I will pack my crap and be gone before he can even say my name if it does!!!! He also said since he will be making more he will give me money to save or spend or do whatever I want to with (cannot be used for bills). If I let him take that new job. So I guess I have to! I mean some extra money that I don't even have to work for would be awesome! So the job hunting begins....Again!!

My friend casey just moved into my current apartments. We went over there for dinner tonite and we grilled out and had a blast. Well her and I hang out like every single day. She has parties like every night and I just never feel welcome! I mean she invites me but the others there can be such two faced liers. Some of them I went to school with and are pretty good friends with, but they act like such !**@! to me sometimes when I go over there. Casey always invites this matt guy over even though she knows I will not, I repeat will not go over there if hes there. I just don't get it. Wouldn't she rather have me there than him? He isn't even that goood of friends with her. He has stabbed her in the back so many times. I just feel like I have no friends anymore...It also pisses me off that she parties so much! I don't know how to tell her. I have tried in the past but she takes it wrong. I mean she has a 2 yr old who is home, hes in bed though. But she has some wild parties with alot of ppl there. Yes I will admit I have had like 6 ppl over and we were drinking and jayden was in bed. But I do not...Do not get drunk when jayden is home. Either steve or I will not get drunk. There has to be a sober one caring for her incase she gets up. And I dont allow drunks to be in my house either, because you never know what could happen. Casey has these ppl over until like 5 am and/or they spend the night at her house. Her little boy wakes up and sees all these ppl passed out. I hate it..Fricken hate it.

Sorry I am complaining so much, I feel so worthless, emotional, fat, just eck...I am really unhappy lately.

~sara~
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replied March 20th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
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replied March 20th, 2004
Active User, very eHealthy
I'm sorry to here that you are stressed, seems to me that alot of people here are stressed out and feeling fat. It's depressing I know, it's wierd how alot of us are going through crap with our boyfriends or husbands. One thing that I learn from my mother mothers are always the ones who have to do the sacrificing when it comes to the kids. Men are good for nothing "sometimes'.

Brenda
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replied March 20th, 2004
Advanced Support Team
Thats a good idea...Catching up with an old friend! It just seems like I catch up with an old friend and then we hang out and crap alot and then bam they are gone again for awhile. Grr..I am so sick of that! I hope also that steves job will turn out for the best!!! (keep fingers crossed) I am sure another job will come along for me. Ohh..And as far as feeling fat..Omg I cannot take it anymore. Marisa (rissalee) her mom did windsor pilates and she said she lots alottttttt of weight. So she is sending me her videos!!! That is sooooo nice of her. She said she saw results real fast too. So I am hoping for the best as far as that goes. I might still be able to get into a bikini by the end of summer. God I sure hope so! I usually don't stress out about crap like I am tonite. It is usually petty stuff dealing with steve that I stress out about. But like they say "this too will pass".

~sara~
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replied March 20th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
I know how you feel! Is there anyone else that could watch jayden so you both could work the same shift? If girls start callin again take him to maury!! Laughing
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replied March 21st, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
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replied March 21st, 2004
Experienced User
If u truly love steve and u know in ur heart that steve truly loves u and would never jeopardise ur family for anything in the world then I think regardless of whether girls were calling saying hes cheating, I would ignore it and hang up because its not those girls that will damage ur relationship its the insecurities and the accusations that u and steve will say to each other.

As for ur friend how good of a friend is she anyway. And if she cant listen to wot u have to say in regards to her child and partying ways then wot sort of a friend is she because friends listen no matter how hard or hurtful.

From someone who cant wait to have a jellybean all of their own
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